Ever since I started down the kinky road, I’ve been resistant to calling myself a “Domme”. I just shied away from the term, I couldn’t be a dominant, not me! Such a weird thing, too, as Boy Toy is obviously submissive and I’ve known this all along. If you’ve read how we play, you might have noticed the roles are pretty clearly defined.

As a side note, I just wanted to mention that I never know if I should use the term “Domme” or “Dom”. And strangely enough, just as I was pondering this, I noticed roo-roo talks about it in his most recent post. As usual, he makes good, sensible points, so you might want to stop by if the question interests you. As for me, I’ll just stick with the excuse that my first language is French, and so naturally, I feminize the word. And French is probably the right excuse, considering what Wikipedia has to say on the subject:

The term “domme” (pronounced /ˈdɒm/) is a coined pseudo-French female variation of the slang dom (short for dominant). It stems from the Latin words “dominus” = master, “domina” = mistress. The pronunciation is identical to the term “dom”, by analogy to one-syllable French-derived words like femme or blonde. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday’s fast approaching and so it’s time for my weekly half-nekkid picture! This one is from the same photoshoot as the last three HNT pictures. Hopefully you’re not growing bored of them yet… I admit though that the rest is pretty much more of the same. They’re different pictures, but it’s the same setting, the same outfits. I’ll probably show a few more, but then I’ll have to come up with something else!

I like this picture in particular because I like my back. It might seem strange but it’s one of the only body parts of mine that I really like. But I have to confess I photoshopped it: I removed my tattoo. The anonymity thing, you know ;) 

Hope you enjoy anyway!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place! 

Last week, I received an interesting email from Unspeakable Axe telling me he had a post idea for me. “I only have the title”, he said: ”How the hell my submissive lucked out and became owned by me and how you can find someone like me?”

Good question, Axe, good question. I was at Boy Toy’s when I read this email and of course, I immediately asked him how he thought he got to be owned by me. He gave me this very inspiring and eloquent answer: “I don’t know. I just got lucky.”

So much for that.

Still, over the last few days, I’ve given the matter some thought. The truth is, I believe Boy Toy and I are where we are today because we started pretty much like any other, normal relationship, and we fell in love. The elements of kink, or D/s, that we do have in our relationship now were introduced gradually, and our communication about such things was always open. I mentioned this in my very first post:

But Boy Toy told me from the start what he was into. He wanted to be straight with me, and avoid my learning this about him from other people, too. He was also very respectful. He was so scared of pushing me into something I didn’t want that I almost had to trick him into sleeping with me, in the beginning. Ok, ok, I didn’t “trick” him, but I kind of had to push him into it a little. And we started with good old regular sex, of course.

But the fact of the matter was, I knew what he was into, and, as they say, curiosity killed the cat. We talked a lot about kink. And it was fun, it was playful and naughty. And it felt like we had this dirty little secret, it created this complicity between us. Read the rest of this entry »

A few days have passed since last I wrote. When I left you, Boy Toy was locked in the CB6000 and I was just fresh out of a face-sitting session.

Unfortunately, he isn’t locked in the CB anymore. I can never bring myself to leave him in very long. It just looks so… uncomfortable. And he complains about it. When I saw him Friday night, he told me he had slept really badly because of the device. Then he mentioned he wanted to go jogging that day but couldn’t because of his predicament. And he told me he was itchy because he couldn’t shave underneath­… Finally, a little frustrated, I handed him the key.

I understand, though. It does look pretty cumbersome. Besides, for me, the point isn’t the device but the denial. I’ve said this before: I kinda prefer the denial without the CB. Sure, locking his sex away is kinky, but when he doesn’t masturbate simply because I told him he can’t… that’s hot. The control is more mental. And there is no feeling of guilt for the discomfort the device can cause.

So that’s how things stood Friday night. He was free. Yet he hadn’t had an orgasm in several days, since I’ve instructed him not to for three days before every Friday. That’s my way of having a fresh, eager Boy Toy when the weekend finally arrives and I get to see him. Read the rest of this entry »

I have been hesitant to be dominant with Boy Toy for the last few weeks. There’s been the recent head butting, but it’s not just that. He’s been undertaking new work projects and since he really wants this to succeed, he works a LOT. He’s so tired and stressed… How can I, in good conscience, make him submit to me? He probably needed the break.

But at the same time, when done well, it’s good for us. It refocuses him, for lack of a better word. I’m still not sure if the “timing” thing is all in my head, if he’d melt no matter when I do it. But I kinda think I need to follow my gut feeling on this one.

Some of you might be thinking, “Yeah but, it should be about what YOU want!” Maybe. But that’s not how I dominate him. For me, it’s all about the effect my actions have on him. If he hates it or gets angry, it won’t turn me on either.

All this to say, it had been a while. Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes I think I must be bipolar. I can be so happy and suddenly, so upset. I get into these states that I just can’t seem to get out of. Last week, I needed restraint so I wouldn’t lash out at Boy Toy. This week, I think the whip is more appropriate. To whip myself or Boy Toy?

I’ll let you guess that one.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place! 

Dear readers, I didn’t mean to leave you in the dark the last few days. Don’t worry, the storm has passed. The seas remained a bit rough for a few days, but with blue skies and bright sunlight making a shy appearance. Be warned, though: this is another of my rambling posts. Feel free to skip. It’s just good for my sanity to throw all my thoughts and worries and feelings in a heap of a post, and then try to organize them into something coherent.

I didn’t see Boy Toy much this weekend. He needed the space, and I needed to give it to him. I spent some time with friends and finally saw him at the club, Saturday night. He arrived later than me and when he did, I was a the bar chatting with a guy. A guy who was telling me about his girlfriend and his coming baby, mind you, but Boy Toy didn’t know that. But it didn’t matter, never matters with Boy Toy. I would love to be as self-confident as he is!

I was dressed in a way I knew he would find sexy. He walked right up to me, nevermind that I had “company”, and checked me out from head to toe. Someone behind him said something to him but he said “Not now, I’m cruising”. Ah, how cute. I introduced him to my new friend, whose name I had unfortunately forgotten (I’m just not very good with names). And that’s how the night started. The rest is a bit of a blur, I must admit. After my roller coaster of emotions, I indulged a bit too much. I remember giving some drunken relationship advice to other couples… Me, who can barely manage MY relationship! Read the rest of this entry »

I should have known yesterday’s little swell was but the harbinger of the storm. Maybe because I had yet to truly unleash my frustrations. Let my fury wash over me and purify me.

Like wave crashing against rock, Boy Toy and I each tried to get our points accross. Nothing was penetrating the other’s fortress. But the fortress can only take so much, and then it breaks.

The aftermath finds rubble strewn everywhere. Bleakness.

But then, I spot a piece of rock. “Wait”, I say. “I can see where this rock goes.” And he says “Let me take care of this one for you.” We put a few rocks in their rightful place, and finally, we have to stop. We’re spent. Read the rest of this entry »

I long to be free of this need for restraint.

This wish expressed in yesterday’s HNT post came true, as wishes are wont to do. Familiar with the phrase “Be careful what you’re wishing for”? No, don’t worry, Boy Toy and I didn’t break up and aren’t planning to. But there is no need for restraint anymore because I did lash out at him. It started innocently enough. I told him “It just bugs me that there’s no time to talk to me”.

This, in fact, is an ongoing issue with us. He’s busy, he works hard. Not some lazy ass bum, my Boy Toy. But it’s hard on me. I miss him. So sometimes I get grumpy. Sometimes I even get frustrated. He doesn’t understand this, as he’s quite happy whether I’m there or not. Very self-sufficient, my Boy Toy. I’m not saying he doesn’t like it if I’m there. Just that maybe he doesn’t require my presence as much as I need his. We’re different, I guess that’s what makes things interesting. Read the rest of this entry »

Tonight, I felt the handcuffs in this picture were appropriate. I need restraint.

I’m feeling kind of grrrr, you see. Still have a bit of a cold. And my back hurts, think I spend too much time sitting at the computer. I’m doing my best not to lash out at Boy Toy, who’s too busy to talk to me. Poor thing, he’s stressed and busy, last thing he needs is me angry at him. Maybe it’s on my brain those cuffs should be. 

I long to be free of this need for restraint.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!