I go to Boy Toy's a few times a week to work out, and last Wednesday, after my workout, Boy Toy offered to give me a massage. I lay down on his couch, naked, and he sat on top of me. He gave me a wonderful, erotic massage which ended with his tongue between my legs and as he was licking and suckling, I was thinking of how I could get this to happen more often. It's a hard subject to bring up, I find. I didn't want him to feel insulted or pressured, I just wanted more intimate moments because they feel great and I need this intimacy with him. The thing is, I find we let life intrude too much, we don't make enough time for these fleeting moments of sensuality.  I decided the best way to go about this was to make a new rule for him: he'd have to give me three orgasms per weekend. Sounded reasonable. More than what we usually have, yet far from impossible. Yes, this was definitely a good idea I was having while his face was buried in my crotch. While fantasizing about my new rule, I came pretty hard. And I purposefully ignored Boy Toy's cock. No orgasm for him, not that night. The next day, over IM, I told him about my new rule. To make it even more appealing, I told him if he complied, he would be allowed one orgasm during the week (he is forbidden to cum unless allowed). I had considered imposing a punishment if he failed, but in the end I opted for a reward. I felt this was more fun and positive. Sounds like a great deal, no? I thought so, anyway, and Boy Toy seemed to as well. Friday came along and as usual, I showed up at his place. We had a friend over then went to bed early and... went right to sleep. The next morning, he got up before me, as usual, but instead of showering with me like he normally does, he said he'd shower later. Hmmm... To move matters along, when I got out of the shower, I grabbed Boy Toy's shiny, sexy cock ring and looked at him with a knowing smile. That's about all it took for him to pull down his pants and put the thing on. It must have been around 1 PM. Later that night, before our friends were due to come over, I tried talking with Boy Toy about my new rule. I was disappointed and upset that nothing had come of it. Unfortunately, we aren't always very good at communicating and it turned into a fight... We dropped the subject and made up before anyone arrived and simply left it at that. No use ruining the evening for ourselves or anyone else. We had a great time, partied with our friends, went out, then came back and went to bed, Boy Toy still wearing his cock ring. Sunday morning, as I was sipping my coffee, Boy Toy kneeled on the couch, naked, for his daily 10 minutes of submission. I didn't have to remind him, like I usually do on weekends. And as he kneeled there, exposed and vulnerable, I idly mentioned that perhaps he needed some... discipline. Maybe a little spanking would help him. "How many spanks should I give you?", I asked. I had planned on doubling his number but since he said "zero" and then "two", I opted for 10. And so, as soon as his 10 minutes were up, I told him to get on hands and knees. He obeyed, and I cropped the hell out of his ass. Now, this is not something I usually do. I must have spanked him once before, when I played at being a cop with Boy Toy. I went a little harder this time and left marks. A first. After Boy Toy's spanking, I allowed him to finally remove the cock ring and we showered. When I took off my shorts and underwear, I realized the cropping had left me wet, a fact that I made sure to point out. Once we were nice and clean, we went back up in his little sun room and frolicked in the sun. He went down on me and we had sex, it was hot, steamy, lovely. Now... Now I'm back home and these things have been going round and round in my head. I've often reflected on the line between D/s and "real life" and if these events prove anything, it's that the line is not clearly drawn in my mind. I tried using D/s to resolve a problem. Well, not a problem per say, but a situation which, in my opinion, could improve. I thought it was a good idea; Boy Toy gets all subby and turned on when I order him around. But when this didn't work, I got upset because things didn't improve AND because Boy Toy didn't obey. We got into an argument over it. And on top of everything, the next day, I punished him for it! I called it discipline, but I'm pretty sure my frustrations had a lot to do with it. Talk about a blurry line... So yeah. I feel kinda bad. Well except for the crop marks, I'm pretty proud of those. Thankfully, my Boy Toy's quite smitten with me and doesn't hold such things against me. I'm a lucky owner.

Yesterday, I suffered from a case of Owner's block. You know, like writer's block except for boy toy owners. It was the second edition of "Owner Fridays" and I just didn't know what to do with it. Part of it is lack of ideas/imagination and time to think. And part of it is that on Friday nights, I have the whole work week behind me and still haven't completely recovered. My personal and professional lives are just so different, and lately, the professional part has been making me a little depressed. Weekends generally find me very happy, though, but there's a little transition period on Friday evenings. Sometimes I stay home for a bit and eat, relax, take a bath... Take care of myself, before heading to Boy Toy's. Other times, the "wait"seems unbearable and I just want to go see him right away. Yesterday, that's how I felt. I ate quickly and cleaned up a little, then packed a few things and called him. "I'm on my way. Be naked when I get there." I was fully prepared to exercise my authority at the slightest protest from Boy Toy, but he must have remembered what day it was and he simply accepted my instructions. And obeyed: he was naked when I got there. We spent a nice, relaxing evening together but not much happened, so I don't have much to report, just a couple of highlights. The first is that I had him shave me. I had never done this, and read about it here and there. So, we jumped in the shower and I handed him the razor and cream. It was fun, and funny too because he was so scared of cutting me... I had him shave my legs and my pussy. A little later, I sat down comfortably with a book and had him massage my feet while I was reading. It felt luxurious to be reading while my naked boy toy slaved at my feet. He's such a good Boy Toy. But not always, unfortunately. Sometimes he's a brat. Later in the evening, some friends came over and we had a few shooters with them. At one point, Boy Toy poured everyone a shooter but forgot one of our friends, so I told him to give our friend the shooter he poured for himself, he wouldn't have one for this round. But Boy Toy decided differently. Since it was an "accident", he decided I hadn't understood correctly so he promptly poured himself a shooter and even though I said no, he drank it. I was actually pretty angry at this total disregard of what I had said. Wasn't it Owner Friday? I just couldn't let this pass, so I grabbed the crop and told him to lean against the counter, his butt sticking out. He started to protest but realized I was dead serious, and complied. I announced that I would give him 10 spanks, and my spanks sting quite a bit. When I was at number nine, a male friend of ours asked if he could give the last and I agreed, thinking he'd sting more than me, but I guess "male loyalty" won here, or something, because he went pretty easy on Boy Toy. Oh well, it doesn't matter. The message was loud and clear: don't disregard your owner's decisions, ESPECIALLY on Owner Friday! I made him apologize for his behavior and asked if he'd do it again. Of course, he said he wouldn't. Good. And that was Owner Friday. We went out dancing after, which was pretty fun. But I'm hoping I'll come up with something a little more exciting next week!

According to my contract with Boy Toy, when I'm at his place and we're alone, he must smoke his cigarettes kneeling, naked, in front of me. But lately, Boy Toy's been stressed and overworked, which tends to make him less submissive and more of a brat. So of course, he's been trying to avoid smoking while I'm there, waiting for as long as he can, and getting impatient and snippy. Or he'll whine and complain when it's time to smoke, because he has to close all the curtains, get undressed, kneel in front of his beautiful Owner... What a drag! But I understand. I'm stressed and overworked, too. So I try to accomodate him, I really do. Last weekend, for instance, twice I let him smoke without the normally required protocole. In exchange for this generous gesture, all I asked for was two hours in the chain harness, at my convenience. So that's four hours, he owes me. Lovely!

Boy Toy and I have been so busy lately, there simply hasn’t been any time for play. And maybe I’m wrong, but I have this notion that for him to be a happy Boy Toy, there has to be a minimum of it. I have noticed regular play has a positive effect on our relationship, it brings us closer together, creates this sense of intimacy, like we’re two naughty co-conspirators. Besides, I just enjoy playing with him. I love seeing how what I’m doing affects him. As I said earlier this week, it was time we play. I had been craving it for a while. At first, I was torn between two ideas. I had read something about food fetishism, and actually wrote a little something on it for the F-mag. I also read Blacksilk’s description of a certain position. I really wanted to have Boy Toy try this position, but the food thing was alluring, too, we had never done anything like it. We never did anything naughty in his kitchen, either, except a photo session once. We’ve joked about having sex on the countertop, but never did it. In the end, as smarmoofus suggested in a comment, I decided to do both: start with the kitchen, and end with the bondage position. So Boy Toy was to be my kitchen-bitch. I liked that. I figured we could try our hand, or tongue, at a little food play in the kitchen. The obvious choice, if you put aside things to penetrate various body cavities (that could be for another time), is whipped cream. I knew he’s not crazy about it, and I had something in mind, anyway. I asked one of my girlfriends what she would like to have licked off of her, and she suggested honey. Perfect! I ordered Boy Toy to wait for me naked. I arrived at his place and had him prepare us a drink. It was so hot at his place, I used this as an excuse to strip to my sexy black bra and undies. I sat on a high chair at the island countertop while he was preparing the drinks, and when he was done, I told him that while he was my kitchen-bitch, he would wear the cock ring. He hesitated but when I firmly said "Now!", he quickly got it out and put it on. When my kitchen-bitch was properly attired, I said “You know, we’ve never tried your kitchen”, looking pointedly at the bottle of honey I had left on the counter. He didn’t need any more prodding than that: he got me a big towel, laid it on the countertop and I promptly got rid of my underwear and laid down on it. Boy Toy attacked my honey-idea with much enthusiasm. He used a little stir-stick and started putting honey all over me, drawing a line from between my breasts to my Venus mound, then circling the nipples, making little lines on the breasts and then on my thighs, close to my pussy. I couldn’t help but laugh at how much honey he was spreading all over my body, since I had told him that if he didn’t do a good clean up job, there’d be a spanking. Which was exactly what I wanted to do, and the reason for opting for yummy, sticky honey. He started licking me with gusto, and at first was going pretty fast as some of the honey was dripping off me. That felt a little funny… but then he got to the nipples and I felt my pussy throb. When he got to the thighs… I couldn’t help but giggle and gasp. Every once in a while he’d give my pussy a teasingly quick lick, then go back to his cleaning job. Honey, it turns out, is quite hard to lick clean. Perfect! Once he thought his cleanup good enough, he directed his attention between my legs even though there was no honey there, at least not the type made by bees. Between his talent with his tongue and my arousal from the cleanup session, it didn’t take me long to buckle and moan. But I wasn’t done. I brushed my fingers lightly over the areas that had been sugared up, and sure enough, they were still sticky. I announced that I would have to spank him, and he protested, saying it was not possible to lick it any cleaner than this. I didn’t care. I told him he would have to assume the “spanking position”. This was new, so I had to guide him through. I ordered him to kneel on the ottoman (it is a backless couch, basically, and can serve as footstool; Boy Toy’s is almost as big as the couch itself). I had him spread his legs, and told him to bend forward until his face was lying on the ottoman. I then had him rest his arms between his legs… Quite the exposed position. Initially, I was thinking of binding him in this position, but I decided to play the psychological part and simply ordered him not to move. I believe this to make him feel more submissive, the only thing restraining him being his need to submit to my will. There is also the added advantage that if he does move, I can punish him some more. Evil, evil me. Once he had assumed the position, I fetched a butt plug and wooden paddle from the toy box and the lube from the bathroom. I got back to my waiting Boy Toy, and lubed the plug generously. As I started to insert it, Boy Toy jumped and exclaimed “I thought I was getting a spanking!” Now, this is hard, when he protests, because I’m never sure when I should stop or ignore his complaints and do what I want. Still, I pushed through. Very slowly, while playing with his cock and balls and checking constantly with him for fear of hurting him, but in the end, it was in. It was time for the paddle. I gave him a few good smacks on his butt cheeks, sometimes while playing with his cock. Then I abandoned the paddle and continued jerking him off. After just a few strokes, I noticed him breathing really hard so I let go and smacked him with the paddle some more, only to go back to jerking him off. This time, I was ready to bring him over the edge, which did not take long. Boy Toy gets oh so worked up when his owner uses him. Feeling a little bad for forcing the butt plug on him, I later asked him if I had punished him unjustly. He blushed and mumbled that no, I hadn't been unfair. That's a good Boy Toy.

I kept him locked so he couldn’t play. I took advantage of his condition, and sent him some instruction. “Make me a list, I ordered my guy, of 5 punishments I could apply.” So eager was he to win his freedom, he listed 10 and gave extra wisdom.

List of 10 Punishments my owner could apply...

- in chain harness for whole weekend or 48 hours... and if sub has to remove for say going out or shower or what ever, every hour off is 2 hours more another time... or other punishment like crop or cane or chastity or hard punishment so sub knows the excuse for removal is very expensive.

- tied naked to saw horse and paddled or cropped, don't know how many times for what kind of punishment though.... guess owner defines those kind of rules. Additional option to that is you leave them there for an hour after... or instil discomfort, like leave them with butt plug so sub can think about it knowing they are... fucked or penetrated for your viewing pleasure.  Or also tell them to leave the spanking horse, or what ever, there for 1 week, like in plain sight, as reminder (kind of conditioning as the sub sees it and knows readily available to owner and be careful not to overstep bounds).

- hand and ankle cuffs for a day, another day if during that time sub doesn't immediately bend over and touch their ankles when you hold up the crop or something to spank.

- establish harder rules for a while, like... sub has to kneel in an exposing and honouring way as soon as you say something, or strip and kiss both your feet, maybe stay there till you say ok. Fun part would be ordering them at a later time, not in punishment, to see if it stuck or conditioned them. :D

- bound spread out or bent over and anything goes, if sub calls out Yellow (safe word) it's no orgasm for 1 week every time they say it. Red is 4 weeks.

- take away the right to say Red (safe-word) for 1 or 3 months, sub can only say yellow... could go with above one.

- make them feel low, like pet or animal, as not fit to be sub. Could have them crawl on all fours, maybe with leash or tail, or both or leash on balls or all? Could be also objectification, like on display or maybe written on with a marker or when they stand or kneel they have to spread their legs 45 degrees - feeling exposed, vulnerable to acknowledge they are owned.

- make them serve you and your friends when have visitors. Or put on locked ball cuff and/or collar while serving friends, if service was unsatisfactory, friend complained, then a worse punishment could follow. 

- painful thingies: clothespins or candle wax (could be applied after spanking), ball gag, fuck mouth then ass with strap-on while tightly tied down, shocking things like collar or wands (probably more useful while training so failure gives them an instant shock), nipple clamps, harness with dildo, 

- humiliation - like bound spread on all fours while you watch a movie and spank or insert butt plug, maybe eyes also covered so that sub can't watch and is only there for punishment. Or bound sort of same way in separate room while you invite friends over so he fears the edge of being exposed. Or tied in a way, like standing with legs apart and butt out and as you spank you can judge and enjoy watching them swing their butt trying to shake the pain out, like enjoy the show.

- take away a pleasure like orgasm denial, foods, drinks, sporting, tv...

- a mix of any of the above, like one followed or done with another (bonus one).

Other notes of interest...

- make sure the rules are clear, like what constitutes as serious or soft punishment. Also be clear as to what is punishment (spanking) and what is standard protocol, what you always expect (stay naked in the mornings till I say you can get dressed). For example if you like your sub to kneel at your feet, don't use kneeling as a punishment unless you alter it, like maybe with butt plug. Also rules can be anything you want for fun, worshiping, or serious behaviour you never want them to do. The owner might establish certain rules at certain times. Ex. when in the house or locked in a collar and when in public.

- regarding the above, the owner is always allowed to experiment, practice or evaluate any of the punishments in advance for play or amusement or learning telling the sub "I want to try something for my amusement" or "I have a little test for you".

- when you put the sub in a circumstance (punishment or rule), for example strip or wear leather cuffs, make it absolutely clear to the sub that only you will give permission to remove or dress if that's what you want. Don't punish because they were confused as to unclear rules. For example: "you may get dressed now". Also taking away the right to ask can enforce your control.

- as a break to you and sometimes the sub, drop all rules or some, but remind the sub that this is reward, reminder could be something locked on, or some kind of jewellery that reminds the sub that they are allowed certain things at the present time.

- prolonged punishments are good for also enforcing ownership, making the sub understand that they are your property, such as asking them often who owns them during, or questions that impose a mental change on their part.

- when you don't have the time or aren't ready to perform the punishment, you can simply lock the slave into something (less inconspicuous if term will include public or work) so mentally they know it's coming and can't run or hide. For example wrist ankle cuffs so they know would be easy to be bound at any time and they realize they are in trouble. This technique can also be used in cases where your not sure if the sub is ready to be punished in the way you want, for example a collar will only come off after punishment, so "let me know when your ready".

- you can make it more interesting for yourself by having the sub pick cards, so that say spades is a wet birch stick, hearts is a crop, diamonds is a soft whip or hair brush...

- using safe-words when just playing you can have your fun pushing the sub into what you think might be extreme or instils fear in them, then you can use that condition as new punishment and let them know they won't have safe-word if punished in that circumstance.

- when defining rules you should make sure that the sub knows you are serious about them. For example put the sub in a condition of disadvantage, like hands cuffed, naked, locked up, kneeling... and really use dialog that instils your ownership, like never say "you should" or "maybe" but rather "I require" and "you must".

- manipulation, outwitting and tricking so the sub realizes you always win are great means for establishing who rules and being taken seriously. For example if the sub breaks a rule pretend you aren't disappointed. Then later, ask them to wear cuffs, then lock something else on etc... until you know they can't run. Then talk to them about what rule they broke and as they realize they are fucked since they are bound or locked into something that can't be removed. Or hold their balls and have them put on hand cuffs. This shows the sub that you ultimately win every time and the sub will know that any rule broken is always punishable and they are at disadvantage.

- probably the most important, the rules and punishments defined are entirely the owners, for their fun, comfort and enjoyment. The sub should know that they can negotiate at a cost, but ultimately they are yours to define, design, and refine and have fun experimenting with. Since you own them and the rules, everything goes your way when you say! The sub has their safe words, defined hard limits, it's their responsibility to use them, you are never at fault if you made them agree to rules and followed safe word practices.

My relationship with Boy Toy is a lot of fun and games, but it’s also real, normal life. We do spend fairly long periods of time leading a totally normal life, with the vanilla sex and nothing more. Boy Toy says it’s good to take a break from kink from time to time, and I agree. I can’t imagine being Little Miss Dominatrix all of the friggin’ time! And then there’s play. This last year, for me, has been a lot about exploring, discovering, pushing boundaries, getting to know myself, as well as Boy Toy, better. More and more, I am finding these domination tendencies in me. Sometimes I realize that I get frustrated if Boy Toy doesn’t do as I wish, but at the same time, I don’t really do what it takes to enforce it. I need to make what I want clear, and punish him if he strays. Don’t look at me that way, he loves it! Let me tell you about the most recent punishment I put him through, you’ll see. I had made these new rules for him, and he broke one. Nothing serious, but I knew that if I didn’t do anything about it, he’d just keep on being a brat and pushing his limits, just to see how far I’d let him go. Basic male psychology. Or rather, basic Boy Toy psychology ;) Anyway, the next day, he was going to a friend’s place to work on some stuff so I decided that as punishment, he would wear the ball cuff. It is fairly heavy and weighs him down, so he feels it constantly and knows who’s boss! But… He left in a hurry and forgot to put it on! Later that day, we had some of my friends coming over to hang out before hitting the club. So I told him he’d have to wear the ball cuff to go out. Well, you probably guessed it already, he forgot again. Now that did it! How could he forget something I told him to do? I would have to punish him for that. And I had the perfect idea! A few days later, I put my plan into motion. I told him to come over and bring the Remote control vibrating butt plug, with the Anal plug harness (the thing won’t stay in unless he wears the harness to hold it there). Needless to say, he was worried and admitted to feeling chicken about this. But I held my ground and told him he had to do this. Before he arrived, I went to get stuff to make us supper, and a good bottle of red wine. I got back home, marinated the steaks in the wine, put candles in the bathroom and got into some clothes I knew he’d find sexy. Boy Toy arrived late, something had come up. I was sitting in the living room, reading, and when he came in and started looking hesitant, I said “Are you gonna put it on, now?” He said “Now?” to which I replied, firmly, “Now.” He obediently walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Several minutes later (it seems like complicated business, putting the butt plug in, what with the harness and all), he came out wearing nothing but the harness and the plug and just stood there piteously, looking shy (how cute!). I asked him for the remote control and the first thing I did was test it. His jump, blush and squirming were proof enough that it worked! And then I set him to work. I had him draw me a bubble bath and light the candles. While I luxuriated in the hot, bubbly water, I had him cook us supper. And I told him “I’ll buzz you if I need you”, to which he blushed. I LOVE making him blush, it's one of my favourite things. I waited a few minutes before buzzing him, to give him time to start on supper. Then I took the remote control and pushed the “on” button. He arrived fairly quickly, saying “Yes, my owner?” (that’s his little pet name for me). ”Boy Toy, I need a glass of wine”. And then, as an afterthought: “Oh, you can pour yourself one, too”. So I relaxed in the bath, with a nice glass of wine, while Boy Toy slaved in the kitchen. When I got out of the bath, the food wasn’t ready yet so I sat on the couch, reading. I’d buzz him every once in a while but he was getting used to it by then and he wouldn’t even react! At one point I sneaked up right behind him and pushed the button. Nothing. Humph, was that thing working? I had to check! So I grabbed his butt, and sure enough, I could feel it vibrating inside there, right through the cheek! We had a great meal. He really is an awesome cook, I’m very lucky. By the time we sat down to eat, though, he told me the butt plug was starting to hurt him so I allowed him to take it out. I told him he still had to do as I say, though. And he still had to be naked. Once we were done eating, I stripped naked and had him give me a massage. I was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t buzz him while he was massaging me, but it was still nice. He used massage oil I have here, which smells very good. Afterwards, we just lay together in bed, naked, and I decided to experiment. I started running my fingers and nails lightly all over his chest, sometimes lightly grazing his penis and balls. He was getting aroused, but just a little. So I started talking. I wanted to see just how much the idea of me controlling and punishing him turned him on. My leg was pushed up right against his penis, and I could feel him react every time I said things like “I should punish you more” or “You won’t forget to do things I tell you to do, from now on, right?” Conclusion? Definite reaction on his part. Will use this against him in the future. Finally, he was so worked up that he couldn’t resist any longer and he pulled me on top of him. I guided him in me and started moving up and down. He was so excited I could tell he was going to orgasm really fast. I said “Don’t come!” and he said “Ok… please stop moving then”. I slowed down for a few seconds… Then I had my first orgasm and it almost drove him over the edge. He asked me if he could come now, I said no but started moving even faster, knowing this would get him into trouble. Sure enough, he couldn’t take it anymore and as he came, I had my second orgasm. Then, as I was still straddling him, I said, in as strict a tone I could muster, “I thought I told you not to come!?!” But I couldn’t keep the act up and I burst out laughing. How can I stay mad when it was such hot sex? I think I need to punish him more often.