Rori over at Between my Sheets has undertaken the humongous task of coming up with the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009. She started doing this last year and found the adventure to be such a success that she’s decided to make it an annual event. She did this with the help of a handful of helpful people:

• Lilly (from This Could be Dangerous)
• Nadia West (from Diary of a Kinky Librarian)
• SSS and ♀ (from Sweat Shop Sissy)
• Mischief (from The Sexual Buzz)
• Vixen (from Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen and Tits for Troops)
• Amber (from Scarlet’s Letter)
• Miss KissThis (from Miss KissThis)
• DeDe the Deviant Dyke (from Deviant Dyke)
• Monica
• Sara
• Sarah
• Sera (from Letters from a Seraglio)
• Sexy @ Forty (from Sexy @ Forty)

I was honored and surprised to discover myself in the list. I’m number 74. Hey, I didn’t ask for anything so I think this is pretty great! But anyway, there are 99 other bloggers in the list with me and I’m sure each and every one of them are awesome. Here’s the list, in case you have time on your hands and are looking for a good, sexy read (if you find a listing without a website linked, it’s because the blogger writes on a “team” blog with the person listed below):

1. Coquitten (website)
2. Alexa (website)
3. AAG (website)
4. Bad, Bad Girl (website)
5. TBK (website)
6. Mistress Matisse (website)
7. Miss Mia (website)
8. Thursday’s Child (website)
9. Roger (website)
10. Sinclair (website)
11. Sylvanus…
12. and Mina (website)
13. Natt Nightly (website)
14. Jake (website)
15. Lyn (website)
16. Adriana Ravenlust (website)
17. Sexy Sadie (website)
18. Shay (website)
19. Lilly (website)
20. Nadia (website)
21. Joan Price (website)
22. Madison (website)
23. Anal Amy (website)
24. Z (website)
25. Essin Em (website)
26. Easily Aroused (website)
27. Blacksilk (website)
28. Sleeping Dreamer (website)
29. Melen…
30. and rayne…
31. and Master KKT…
32. and cinnamon (website)
33. That Toy Chick (website)
34. Red (website)
35. Tom Allen (website)
36. Vix (website)
37. Coy Pink (website)
38. Lady Pandorah (website)
39. BackseatBoohoo (website)
40. Epiphora (website)
41. Aurore (website)
42. Miss KissThis (website)
43. Storm (website)
44. Ron Jazz (website)
45. Josie Jacobs (website)
46. Distracted (website)
47. Deviant Dyke (website)
48. Joanna Cake (website)
49. Sapphire Jay (website)
50. Sarah (website)
51. Kimberly (website)
52. Duchess (website)
53. Figleaf (website)
54. The Caged Songbird (website)
55. Kaya (website)
56. Ms. Justine (website)
57. Luka (website)
58. Ang (website)
59. Perverted Negress (website)
60. Harlot (website)
61. Vixen (website)
62. Anakan…
63. and Padme (website)
64. Wilhemina (website)
65. Axe (website)
66. Amber (website)
67. Lucy Vonne (website)
68. Rogue (website)
69. SSS (website)
70. Kyle (website)
71. Amorous Rocker (website)
72. Sera (website)
73. Lolita Wolf (website)
74. Elle (website)
75. Scarlet St Syr (website)
76. Charlotte Thorpe (website)
77. An Unassuming Girl (website)
78. Maymay (website)
79. True Pleasure (website)
80. Bad Influence Girl (website)
81. Diva (website)
82. Raven Quince (website)
83. Autumn (website)
84. Vanilla Impaired (website)
85. Wil (website)
86. Robin (website)
87. Panthera Pardus (website)
88. Ell (website)
89. Miss Communication…
90. and Captain Pants…
91. and A.E. (website)
92. Roxy (website)
93. Secretly Naughty (website)
94. Abby Williams (website)
95. Subheart (website)
96. Sequoia Redd (website)
97. Innocent Loveboy (website)
98. Liljgrrl…
99. and Nawa*G (website)
100. YOU! As always that last person on the list is you. Please, please, please leave a comment below promoting your own blog (or the blog of someone you love). Links are welcome, as long as they lead us to a sex-related blog, not a retail website or porn aggregation site.

It’s been three months since I bought my strap-on harness and black silicone dildo. When I first got them, I was super excited and felt naughty and sexy. I couldn’t wait to try them out. But that weekend, Boy Toy had some sort of eye infection and we decided to wait. Then we went through something of a dry spell, leaving kink aside for a while and not having much sex either.  It took a few weeks before Boy Toy started feeling submissive and horny again, and when I decided to take advantage of that and try my new toy, well it was my turn to be sick.  

I started to wonder if maybe I wasn’t all talk and no action. I mean, I talked about it a lot. It was fun to make Boy Toy nervous by mentioning how it’d be time to try the strap-on sex, soon! Yet I wasn’t doing it, and the excuses listed above couldn’t really, totally account for that. Maybe I was afraid? Maybe I didn’t actually feel like doing it? Of course, Boy Toy wasn’t begging for it to happen, either. No, he was being his bratty self and doing his best to avoid getting it in the butt.

Well, I think I know the answer now: it seems I simply needed to be in the mood. Read the rest of this entry »

Just as I had a lot of mixed feelings going to my first fetish event, I hesitated writing about it, too. It’s not that it didn’t go well at the club, but the night did end with an argument between Boy Toy and I. Probably one of the worse we’ve had, and probably one of the most useless, too. But don’t worry, this was months ago and it’s long forgotten. And now that I’ve got the awkward part out of the way, I might as well tell you the rest of my story.

A few of our friends go to fetish nights almost every weekend. Boy Toy had been to many, many such events, just not since he was with me. On top of that, I guess we see our kink as something private. It IS sex, after all…

Still, I let my friends convince me into accompanying them. I was curious and I thought Boy Toy would like this. I figured I had to go at least once!

I was nervous. I didn’t know what kind of things would happen there, what kind of people I’d meet, how the evening would transpire… I felt pretty insecure. This is, in part, why Boy Toy and I fought, later. I needed him by my side, a dutiful submissive. But he wasn’t feeling like himself, had just quit his job, lots of changes going on and so he wasn’t there for me the way I expected him to be. On top of that, because I was nervous, I drank too much and well there you go, you have an explosive mix. Read the rest of this entry »

Given the subject matter of my blog, I assume many or most of my readers know what a BDSM checklist is. But I didn’t, when I first started seeing Boy Toy.

For those of you who might not know, a BDSM checklist is a list of sexual activities related to sadism and masochism, power play, fetishes, kink… There are different lists out there (for instance, here, here and here), but the bottom line is that for each activity, one must indicate their level of experience and their willingness to explore it – or not.

These checklists are usually filled out by submissives and given to potential Doms. I believe the idea is to help along with pre-play negotiations. From what I’ve read online, it is suggested for the Dom to fill one out as well, and then compare lists to see if both players are compatible.

That’s not really how it happened with Boy Toy and I. He’s the one who mentioned the thing to me in the first place, since I didn’t know about it. I wanted to know what he liked, kinky sex wise, and he’s not one to just enumerate his kinks in a casual conversation. I’ve bothered him with this many times, and the best he can come up with is: “It’s no fun if I just tell you, better if you find out.” Humph. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been having a bit of a dry spell, lately. Not really feeling inspired to write, and not much happening on the sex side either. We both work hard, we hate winter, we’re stressed, we’re tired… All these things conspire against us.

I would lie if I said it didn’t bother me. After all, I still have control of his orgasms, and it used to be that after just a few days of denial, he was totally aroused, could think of nothing but sex, and he would beg me for release. Not so anymore. What can I say, life interferes! But it’s ok, if it bothers me, it’s just my insecurity talking.

That being said, we did have something of a breakthrough, two weekends ago. You see, Boy Toy had always refused to masturbate in front of me. He felt way too self-conscious to do it. Didn’t matter if I ordered him to, he was too shy to do it.

And I just love a challenge. Read the rest of this entry »

A few days have passed since last I wrote. When I left you, Boy Toy was locked in the CB6000 and I was just fresh out of a face-sitting session.

Unfortunately, he isn’t locked in the CB anymore. I can never bring myself to leave him in very long. It just looks so… uncomfortable. And he complains about it. When I saw him Friday night, he told me he had slept really badly because of the device. Then he mentioned he wanted to go jogging that day but couldn’t because of his predicament. And he told me he was itchy because he couldn’t shave underneath­… Finally, a little frustrated, I handed him the key.

I understand, though. It does look pretty cumbersome. Besides, for me, the point isn’t the device but the denial. I’ve said this before: I kinda prefer the denial without the CB. Sure, locking his sex away is kinky, but when he doesn’t masturbate simply because I told him he can’t… that’s hot. The control is more mental. And there is no feeling of guilt for the discomfort the device can cause.

So that’s how things stood Friday night. He was free. Yet he hadn’t had an orgasm in several days, since I’ve instructed him not to for three days before every Friday. That’s my way of having a fresh, eager Boy Toy when the weekend finally arrives and I get to see him. Read the rest of this entry »

Sorry for leaving you hanging with my last post. It wasn’t an intentional cliffhanger. My first thought was to write about Friday night’s sexual antics but then I realized I needed to explain the hypnosis thing first to set the stage. And it turned out to be a complete post, in and of itself. Besides, I was sleepy and my cold was making me feel a bit dizzy, so I decided to tell the rest later and go for a nap.

So where was I? Ah, yes. I was about to tell you what went on Friday night. There was a lot of naughtiness involved, and not much hypnosis, to tell you the truth. But it did come into play a little, and I would like to think that it worked. Boy Toy certainly does, and he says he’s scared. Anyway, on with the sex, I’ll tell you a bit more about the hypnosis after.

When I got home after work, Friday, I continued talking to Boy Toy on MSN. I told him I had a dilemma, I was wondering whether to take a bath here or shower at his place. He solved it for me when he said he had to shower too; a few minutes later I was on my way to his place.

After a quick bite, we hit the shower. As you know, this is a favorite of mine, to be under the steamy hot water with Boy Toy. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks and I know he hadn’t masturbated since the beginning of the week. I think I forgot to mention it here but I’ve instructed him not to jerk off for 3 days before Owner Fridays. I want him to be fresh and attentive, when I finally see him. Read the rest of this entry »

We had a not-really-Owner-Friday, yesterday. Not really, because I just sort of let things go as they would. I could have said, Boy, this night is mine. Or better yet, Boy, strip and put on that harness. But I don’t know, I’m pretty spent on Friday nights. Plus I have a bit of a cold. As a matter of fact, I took a tylenol for cold earlier today and it’s making me feel a little dizzy. So if my writing’s fuzzy, please do forgive me.

So, I was saying. Not-really-Owner-Friday. Well, as it turns out, our friends had other plans and we spent the night just he and I, which was nice. It gave me the perfect opportunity to test out a little something, and I must say, it’s really, very interesting.

Let me go back, here, to give you some background. A while ago, a very helpful gentleman named Robert left a comment on one of my posts suggesting that I try erotic hypnosis. When I expressed my interest, he was nice enough to provide me with some information and suggested I visit his friend’s website, Lady Julia’s Entranced Realms.

I did a bit of reading on Lady Julia’s site but was unable to find actual instructions on how I could hypnotize Boy Toy myself. Perhaps I wasn’t looking in the right place. I know there is a site she links to, but I would have to become a member. I figured I’d try to learn a bit more before going there. Her site does provide several hypnosis MP3s and this week, I decided to look into those. Read the rest of this entry »

Meet my vibrator, the G Twist. I call him the Smurfator, obviously because he’s blue.

He is my very first, and I got him a little more than a year ago. As common-place as a vibrator may seem to you, in a way, this puppy marked the beginning of my sexual explorations.

When it comes to sex, I’m a late bloomer. Well, not completely, as I had sex for the first time when I was 16. I believe that’s a reasonnably young age. But for some reason, my sexuality never developped much more than that, for the longuest time. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve had a bit of an interesting conversation with Saratoga, following one of his posts. In a reply to my comment, he referred to me as Boy Toy’s Mistress. Isn’t it funny, that my first reaction was to guffaw and deny it? “I don’t consider myself his mistress, I told him, I consider myself his owner.”

Because, in my mind, “Mistress” and “Owner” are different; it’s a matter of degree. I like to think of myself as Boy Toy’s Owner. Mistress seems too severe, too harsh, for poor little beginner kinky girl me. But Saratoga begged to differ, and told me he finds the term “Owner” to be far edgier. He went so far as to write a whole post about his perception of the two terms, using the Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary to support his opinion. He went on to explain:

“Perhaps that’s really the core of my own perception of the difference. Mistresses may have male submissives. Female Owner’s have male slaves.

And, perhaps, the implication is that a Mistress might have a more emotional connection with Her male submissive than a Female Owner would for Her mere male slave. Then again, perhaps the enslaved male is so because of his Female Owner’s deep desire for him. So great as to make him Her owned property, totally Hers, rather than merely Her submissive.” Read the rest of this entry »