A few days have passed since last I wrote. When I left you, Boy Toy was locked in the CB6000 and I was just fresh out of a face-sitting session.

Unfortunately, he isn’t locked in the CB anymore. I can never bring myself to leave him in very long. It just looks so… uncomfortable. And he complains about it. When I saw him Friday night, he told me he had slept really badly because of the device. Then he mentioned he wanted to go jogging that day but couldn’t because of his predicament. And he told me he was itchy because he couldn’t shave underneath­… Finally, a little frustrated, I handed him the key.

I understand, though. It does look pretty cumbersome. Besides, for me, the point isn’t the device but the denial. I’ve said this before: I kinda prefer the denial without the CB. Sure, locking his sex away is kinky, but when he doesn’t masturbate simply because I told him he can’t… that’s hot. The control is more mental. And there is no feeling of guilt for the discomfort the device can cause.

So that’s how things stood Friday night. He was free. Yet he hadn’t had an orgasm in several days, since I’ve instructed him not to for three days before every Friday. That’s my way of having a fresh, eager Boy Toy when the weekend finally arrives and I get to see him. Read the rest of this entry »

Sorry for leaving you hanging with my last post. It wasn’t an intentional cliffhanger. My first thought was to write about Friday night’s sexual antics but then I realized I needed to explain the hypnosis thing first to set the stage. And it turned out to be a complete post, in and of itself. Besides, I was sleepy and my cold was making me feel a bit dizzy, so I decided to tell the rest later and go for a nap.

So where was I? Ah, yes. I was about to tell you what went on Friday night. There was a lot of naughtiness involved, and not much hypnosis, to tell you the truth. But it did come into play a little, and I would like to think that it worked. Boy Toy certainly does, and he says he’s scared. Anyway, on with the sex, I’ll tell you a bit more about the hypnosis after.

When I got home after work, Friday, I continued talking to Boy Toy on MSN. I told him I had a dilemma, I was wondering whether to take a bath here or shower at his place. He solved it for me when he said he had to shower too; a few minutes later I was on my way to his place.

After a quick bite, we hit the shower. As you know, this is a favorite of mine, to be under the steamy hot water with Boy Toy. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks and I know he hadn’t masturbated since the beginning of the week. I think I forgot to mention it here but I’ve instructed him not to jerk off for 3 days before Owner Fridays. I want him to be fresh and attentive, when I finally see him. Read the rest of this entry »

We had a not-really-Owner-Friday, yesterday. Not really, because I just sort of let things go as they would. I could have said, Boy, this night is mine. Or better yet, Boy, strip and put on that harness. But I don’t know, I’m pretty spent on Friday nights. Plus I have a bit of a cold. As a matter of fact, I took a tylenol for cold earlier today and it’s making me feel a little dizzy. So if my writing’s fuzzy, please do forgive me.

So, I was saying. Not-really-Owner-Friday. Well, as it turns out, our friends had other plans and we spent the night just he and I, which was nice. It gave me the perfect opportunity to test out a little something, and I must say, it’s really, very interesting.

Let me go back, here, to give you some background. A while ago, a very helpful gentleman named Robert left a comment on one of my posts suggesting that I try erotic hypnosis. When I expressed my interest, he was nice enough to provide me with some information and suggested I visit his friend’s website, Lady Julia’s Entranced Realms.

I did a bit of reading on Lady Julia’s site but was unable to find actual instructions on how I could hypnotize Boy Toy myself. Perhaps I wasn’t looking in the right place. I know there is a site she links to, but I would have to become a member. I figured I’d try to learn a bit more before going there. Her site does provide several hypnosis MP3s and this week, I decided to look into those. Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes being Boy Toy’s Owner feels like a lot of work. To the uninitiated, this might seem contradictory: he does what she says but it’s work for HER? Yeah, I’ve wondered about it too.

Is it because my insecurity makes me struggle to find an idea of some kinky activity that’s good and original enough? It could be. I do put pressure on myself. Owner Fridays, for instance. The initial idea was that I get to decide what we do because, well, I pretty much never got to. When Boy Toy came up with this solution, I took it and I ran with it. But somehow it’s becoming a little stressful, because I feel I must come up with some witty, kinky plan for the night.

So I rack my brain. What sweet torture could I put him through? What new experience to live? Then I find an idea. Last Friday, I thought I’d spend the evening objectifying Boy Toy. But, and this happens often, the idea just kind of… stalled. The idea that seemed so hot at first loses its luster, or I can’t get further than just the general notion, I can’t come up with the particular steps I’ll take to realize this idea. Read the rest of this entry »

Have I ever mentioned that I’m playful? I’m pretty game, really. A few weekends ago, we were at Boy Toy’s shooting the shit with some friends, drinking shots and getting ready to go out. Partying, like we usually do. I don’t remember exactly how it came to be, but A, one of our female friends, ended up with a leash and jokingly attached it to the collar of my top.

I instantly went into sub mode.

My whole attitude spoke of submission. She didn’t seem very used to being a Domme, but she played along. She walked me around for a bit. Then we went back to where our friends were and we just hung out there, her sitting on a stool and me standing next to her, eyes downcast, hands behind my back and just generally well-behaved. Read the rest of this entry »

Meet my vibrator, the G Twist. I call him the Smurfator, obviously because he’s blue.

He is my very first, and I got him a little more than a year ago. As common-place as a vibrator may seem to you, in a way, this puppy marked the beginning of my sexual explorations.

When it comes to sex, I’m a late bloomer. Well, not completely, as I had sex for the first time when I was 16. I believe that’s a reasonnably young age. But for some reason, my sexuality never developped much more than that, for the longuest time. Read the rest of this entry »

Boy Toy and I have been talking a lot, lately. Ever since I’ve forbidden him to cum unless given permission, there’s been an ongoing discussion between us, about kink, about submission, about D/s… about 24/7. Even now, we’re talking about it on IM. It’s been interesting, to say the least. Maybe even an eye-opener. Scary, for sure.

I imagine most of you who read this blog know what D/s is. But if you don’t know, D/s means dominance and submission. It is a “set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context” (thanks, Wikipedia). 24/7 would be the “lifestyle context” referred to here.

I used to be scared of the term “24/7″. It seemed so… hardcore? In fact, in a previous post, I’ve said: “we do not live in a D/s relationship 24/7. We do lead real lives, in the real world. I have a job, we have projects, friends, family. We have life. And we love each other, we care for each other. No matter how hot and fun having my Boy Toy at my beck and call can be, I also want him to be happy.”

After our recent conversations, I’m starting to think that maybe I’m in denial. Read the rest of this entry »

Axe from Unspeakable Axe, in response to my last post, asked me this:

As someone who’s been curious about orgasm denial, I’m interested in what denial feels like for you. Meaning what it does for you, why it’s a kind motivation for you. Is it just about knowing he’s denying himself pleasure because it’s what you want?

It’s a good question, and it takes a certain amount of introspection (which I suck at). I saw his comment a few hours ago and it’s been on my mind ever since. I decided to post about it because my answer would probably end up being somewhat long and more post material than comment material. Forgive me if I ramble, I’m better at sorting my thoughts out while writing or talking… Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve had a bit of an interesting conversation with Saratoga, following one of his posts. In a reply to my comment, he referred to me as Boy Toy’s Mistress. Isn’t it funny, that my first reaction was to guffaw and deny it? “I don’t consider myself his mistress, I told him, I consider myself his owner.”

Because, in my mind, “Mistress” and “Owner” are different; it’s a matter of degree. I like to think of myself as Boy Toy’s Owner. Mistress seems too severe, too harsh, for poor little beginner kinky girl me. But Saratoga begged to differ, and told me he finds the term “Owner” to be far edgier. He went so far as to write a whole post about his perception of the two terms, using the Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary to support his opinion. He went on to explain:

“Perhaps that’s really the core of my own perception of the difference. Mistresses may have male submissives. Female Owner’s have male slaves.

And, perhaps, the implication is that a Mistress might have a more emotional connection with Her male submissive than a Female Owner would for Her mere male slave. Then again, perhaps the enslaved male is so because of his Female Owner’s deep desire for him. So great as to make him Her owned property, totally Hers, rather than merely Her submissive.” Read the rest of this entry »