This is me snapping a quick picture after my workout tonight. I was never big to start with, so it will never be a “I went from a size 10 to a size 2″ kinda difference, but I’d still like to think that it’s starting to show.

Oh, maybe this counts for the Olympics theme I missed last week?

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

We went back to a little kinky play this week and of course, this caused Boy Toy to have kinky dreams… Here’s his latest.

First memory is that I’m standing in front of the mirror and you’re changing my “slave wear”. You removed hand cuffs, wrist cuffs, neck cuff and the Fort, and you are upgrading. While you’re busy getting the stuff, I’m looking in the mirror and laughing at how weird it looks without the “slave wear” and I’m calling you over to come and look.

You come looking and tell me: “It’s funny, why do you think I like these so much? They belong on you, no?” And I say something like “They must, because I look funny without them.”

Next thing I know you’ve put the new slave wear on me. They have remote electrical shock features. It’s as if I was drugged or hypnotized while you were putting them on me, because I remember looking down at the cock ring that holds the Fort and realizing that the thing could shock me, but it was like a drugged up, uncaring feeling, or maybe total acceptance because it’s my owner’s wishes.

Then back to the issue of looking funny without all the slave wear… Someone is telling me that it’s because I’ve been conditioned, and I’m saying “I don’t think so, don’t know”. This person is trying to convince me that lots of men aren’t house slaves in slave wear 24 hours a day. I’m starting to believe them that it’s because I’ve been conditioned to see it as more natural and beautiful, being all restrained in these metal things.

Then I think you find out. Also, seems like you have an issue with someone there. And btw, strangely, I’m naked with only this metal slave wear on while there are people here, like it’s our weekend party time.

Next, you’re talking with someone, saying that you would only invite M and her boyfriend m from now on because they live under the same conditions. Apparently he’s also locked up and not allowed to cum, he’s in training like me. I ask you if it’s true and you laugh as if I’m blind. You tell me it’s the reason why he can’t smoke during the week.

Then our attention turns to A because apparently, she thinks she has fleas (!!!) and she’s trying to pick pieces of her head off. You and her boyfriend j are both trying to convince her that she doesn’t have fleas.

After that, you’re telling M that from now on only D/s couples like you and her will come over because j is really a bad influence on the subs. And you’re really stressed that I’m losing my training or picking up bad influence from him.

Then I think everyone left but we stayed behind with M and her boyfriend. You and M are talking while m is asking me if you used the shocks on me yet. That’s when I notice that we are both naked except for the shiny chrome Fort, collar and wrist and ankle cuffs, and I start asking myself if this is normal. Has it happened before or is this the first time? And then I realized it was a dream and woke up in panic. LOL

I was trying to come up with something smart to say about my HNT, a clever title, but I’m lacking the inspiration tonight. So I’ll just go with the straight, boring facts: this picture was inspired by this one, posted on Vixen’s blog a while back. I liked the idea and showed it to BT, who also thought it was cool. Monday night, we had a bit of time together (I call it training *evil grin*) and I took advantage of it to get him to take these pictures.

I always Photoshop my pictures. However, I don’t “cheat”. I mean, I don’t “fix” myself. Except for my tattoo: that I always remove if it’s showing. I use Photoshop first to crop the picture, then to enhance the image by adjusting the contrast, tweeking the colors, etc. I often add a kind of grainy effect, just because I really like it. This time, I played around a bit. I decided I wanted the background a bit more blurred, because I don’t want the place to be TOO recognizable. So I separated my body from the background, blurred the latter, added contrast and toned down the colors. For my body, I played with the contrast and brightness a little and desaturated the colors just a bit.

Perhaps the Photoshopping isn’t in the spirit of HNT, I don’t really know. But the truth is, I LIKE doing that kind of stuff, and so I do it.

Oh, and I just realized that I totally forgot this week was Olympics theme HNT. Damn!

Oh well, this is all I’ve got. Happy HNT

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

I emailed BT during the day yesterday and asked if he’d be free for half an hour to an hour in the evening. This is me trying out different approaches: asking in advance if he’s available, providing him with an idea of the duration and giving him the opportunity to say “No, tomorrow’s better.” In the past, I might have made my little naughty plans then spring them on him, only to get turned down and feel absolutely crushed. Because hey, how could he refuse kinky sex with me?

So it’s a learning process. In this case, it worked; he did have a bit of free time in the evening. He asked me if it was for HNT pictures. It wasn’t, but I thought it would make a nice addition…

I got home from work and we ate, then I asked if he was still available for a bit of downtime with me. He said he had a few things to finish and we agreed to meet again at 7.

At 6:45, I got up and closed all the curtains. I went through our toy box and selected a collar and some handcuffs, which I set aside for later use. I then went to the bathroom and stripped down to my underwear. Finally ready, I went back to my little computer corner and sat down, waiting for BT. When he showed up a couple of minutes later, he gave my barely clad body an appreciative look and immediately made a comment about what I was wearing. I took the advantage to point out that he was way too dressed and that I wanted him naked. “Naked naked?” he asked. Well, yeah!

While he was taking off his clothes, I grabbed the collar. I waited until he was nude, then I put it around his neck. Next came the handcuffs. He didn’t question, he put his hands behind his back and I restrained him. He can be quite well behaved.

I sat down on the couch and dropped a cushion on the floor in front of me. He knew enough to kneel on it, without needing to be told. I moved closer to him and grabbed his cock, which went from flaccid to f*cking hard in about 3 seconds. Excellent!

I rubbed a bit, then brought my lips close to his ear and whispered “Don’t you dare cum!” Of course, I was aware that this alone would probably bring him even closer to the edge. He was dripping profusely, enough that it started acting as a lubricant and making my job that much easier.

All of a sudden, my phone, which was next to me on the arm of the couch, started ringing. I looked at it and said “I won’t get that.” But after a couple of rings, I changed my mind. I decided that taking the call while still fondling my handcuff Boy Toy would be pretty hot. So I answered. It was my cell phone provider, trying to sell me some sort of new service (GAH!). The guy started by asking me how I was doing, trying to make conversation before offering me anything, so it was a few moments before I could reasonably say “Not interested” and hang up, all the while jerking BT off.

By then, he was pretty lost, begging me to let him cum. Instead, I stopped, because I knew he couldn’t hold it much longer. I removed my panties and sat back, wanting him to go down on me. When he saw that, he thrust his cock forward and said something like, why not fuck instead? I sat forward again and quickly guided him in, let him thrust once or twice, then backed off. I knew this was all he could take.

He really CAN be a good boy: as soon as I sat back, he went right down on me. It felt amazing but I was a bit distracted, my shoulder and back were hurting me. I think I pulled something this weekend. I don’t know if it’s the same for guys, or even other girls, but I can’t really cum if I’m distracted. But I wanted my orgasm, so I resorted to a different tactic. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into me, grinding my pussy on his mouth. That worked beautifully.

BT’s work was done. I got up, picked up a washcloth in the bathroom and wiped his mouth, which was dripping with my juices. Then I uncuffed him and we sat together for a few minutes, relaxing. He told me he wasn’t sure he could hold until Friday. I felt a little bad, since I am punishing him for breaking a “rule” I didn’t really establish first, so I told him if he was really, really good, I might let him cum before then. He said he was good now (which was true) but I still want to make him wait a bit… This is just too much fun.

We took a few pictures for HNT, then he went back to work.

Today, he wrote again that he really needed to cum soon, that just rubbing on the bedsheets this morning brought him close to bursting. Oh, how I love his desperation and begging!

A fellow blogger and I were talking via email and when I mentioned I’m into sci-fi and fantasy books, he asked me what my favorite book was. I ended up writing him quite a long answer and decided to make it into a blog post. Since I don’t usually give this sort of detail about me, thought it might be fun.

So without further ado, about my favorite sci-fi of fantasy book, well that’s difficult… I have so many! You should see my bookcase I can name some that I really enjoyed, though. For sci-fi, “Noir” by K. W. Jeter. A more cyber-punkish book: “Snowcrash”, by Neal Stephenson (which I lent to an ex who never gave it back, booh!). Also really enjoyed the”Illium” and “Olympus” duo by Dan Simmons (imagine greek gods meet robots and futuristic stuff…! Yes, that’s right!) and also by Dan Simmons, the Endymion series.

On the fantasy side, I really enjoy Neil Gaiman’s books. He did the “Sandman” graphic novels series, which I think is what he’s most known for but I haven’t checked it out yet. I quite enjoyed his “Neverwhere” and “American Gods”. They aren’t as fantasy oriented as most of the other books I own.

I really liked the “Otherland” trilogy by Tad Williams, as well as George R. R. Martin’s “A Song of Fire and Ice” series. Awaiting the next book impatiently… Apparently they are making or have made this into a tv series, definitely have to check it out sometime.

I also have to mention two other series, but they are much longer. There’s the “Wheel of Time” by Robert Jordan. It’s up to 12 books, however the last has been taken over by a different author since Mr Jordan passed away. I was wondering why it was taking so long for the sequel to be published… Turns out when Robert Jordan died, his wife asked this other fantasy author to take up all the notes and parts of the book already written, and finish the series. This guy (I forget his name just now) got to work on it and apparently, the ending is so big and epic that it’ll take 3 more books! I just got the first of those 3, and have been reading that lately. Because it’s been so long since I read the rest of the series, though, I kinda forgot lots and am a bit mixed up. I’m slowly getting back into it, though…

Finally, there is the “Sword of Truth” series, but the last few books kinda suck. The first few, however, were great. Especially loved the first one, “Wizard’s First Rule”. They made this series into a tv-series which started airing last year. “Legend of the Seeker”‘ it’s called. I downloaded all the episodes last year but haven’t gotten around to, this year. For more about this series, check out Aarkeybabble’s blog, he posts screen shots and everything. There are many interesting, quite obvious, D/s elements to the series. Still, not nearly as good as the books…

Oh, and of course, I read the “Lord of the Ring” series. Can’t tell you it’s my favorite though because it’s a little… long-winded. Still, pretty good stuff and the movies really represent the book well (for once!).

Frankly, I could probably go on and on, as I’m a pretty avid reader. But let’s just stop there for now

One last tidbit… This song makes me happy:

That’s the real video… Took me a while to figure it out, just couldn’t believe this was it, but so says Wikipedia.

My first serious boyfriend, when I was 16, was a big Red Hot Chili Peppers fan. I think perhaps because of that, I never paid the band much attention. A mental block or something. But in recent years, I’ve come to hear it played often (Boy Toy likes it) and I’ve come to realize I really, really like it. Like I said, the song makes me feel happy. After a few drinks, it just makes me want to dance; it’s a magical feeling. I worked out a little earlier tonight and when I was done, I laid on the bed, the iPod still on my ears. This song came on and it just felt amazing.

Friday night, Boy Toy and I had a nice supper together, along with good wine and good conversation. We cooked cedar plank salmon (you have GOT to try it!) with a side dish of carrots glazed with balsamic vinegar and butter. (Cooking delicious food is such an important part of our life, and even our relationship, that I’ve decided to share some of our favorite recipes…)

So we ate and talked. Then we moved on to the couch, where we talked some more. After a while, I laid down and put my head on his lap, and he put his hand in my pants. He started playing around with his finger, then asked “Is this the spot?” I laughed and teased him, telling him that after 2 years and a half, he sure should know where my clitoris is… But the truth is, he was slightly off. This just goes to show how rarely he uses his fingers only on me. It’s usually intercourse or his tongue, which do the job beautifully, thank you.

I put my hand over his, guiding his finger to just the right little spot, and I found myself suddenly buckling under the onslaught of sensation. Boy Toy continued exploring, using my body’s reactions to guide him, with my occasional suggestions, until I came nice and hard. A nice, intimate moment which was interrupted by his phone ringing: his friend wanted to know if he’d come hang out.

Boy Toy told him he would “check with the boss”. He put the phone aside and asked me if he could go. This is when I remembered that he told me, a few days before, that he was ready to get back into kinky stuff. I also thought back to our conversation just before, when we’d been talking about properly “training” him. I has asked him if some of his exes trained him, and how. He wasn’t very elaborate on this one, implying that it should be up to me.

I took a quick decision and told him: “You can go, but if you go, you get no orgasm for a week.” After all, he was cutting our nice evening together short, AND he forgot to invite me along to his friend’s. You see, I kinda want to teach him thoughtfulness. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t really want to go and quite enjoyed having some time to myself. He still didn’t think of me, and, well, I just love denying him. The fact that his last orgasm was about a week before only adds to the fun, really.

He cringed but took the phone back and told his friend he’d be on his way soon. I guess he REALLY wanted out of the house

Next morning, in the shower together, I made sure to get him as close to cuming as I could. He was VERY hard and begged me to let him cum. I would gently massage his cock, going faster and faster until I felt he was on the verge, and then I’d stop. I was behind him, with my arms wrapped around his strong, muscular body. After a while, he turned towards me and tried finding a position in which we could fuck, which is not exactly easy standing in the shower, facing each other. He managed it for a bit, until I stopped him because it was just too arduous. I turned my back to him and took his hand, guiding him between my legs.

This is something I really enjoy, feeling his body enveloping me, one hand working on my clit, the other busy pinching my nipple (I’ve realized since I’m with Boy Toy that I really like getting my nipples pinched when I’m horny). I usually feel his hard cock between my legs, sometimes fucking, sometimes not. This time, we weren’t fucking; this was for me, not him. That thought alone got me quite excited and it wasn’t long at all before I came.

Earlier today, I asked him if he was itching to cum, yet, and he said “Don’t mention it!!! It’s been on my mind.”

This should be an interesting week!

Vixen’s PC, over at Secrets of a Blue Eyed Vixen, wrote about cuckoldry earlier this week. They have recently started exploring this aspect of sexuality and PC wrote about it, describing the journey which brought them there.

I found it fascinating to read. It was exciting! The idea of having sex with another man while my Boy Toy stays behind and isn’t allowed to stray, IS hot. I can and you can’t, HA!

I hate to admit it, but it made me a little envious, too. Not envious in the “bad” way, I’m totally happy for them. It’s just that it sounds like Vixen and PC have a very active sex life, while I wish mine was more active. What struck me the most though is how close they seem, how good their communication must be! Because for cuckoldry to work, a relationship has to be on solid grounds. And I wish Boy Toy and I were that good at communicating, I want to feel that close to him.

As an aside, we ARE working on that and I think we’re slowly getting there. Yay!

Anyway, since it was on my mind, I brought it up with Boy Toy without really thinking first. I asked him what he thought of cuckolding, after telling him I wasn’t fully satisfied with how often we have sex… Yeah, I know, way to go me!

Still, he didn’t reject the idea. Far from it. However, he was a bit dumbfounded at the notion that I’d be allowed to go elsewhere, but not him. It’s true that it doesn’t sound fair, and I’ve known from the start that he believes in open relationships. The first thing he said, in fact, when I asked “What do you think of cuckolding?” was, “What, like an open relationship?” I explained that no, cuckolding meant that only the female partner has sex with others, while the male partner knows this and even encourages it. I encouraged him a bit, tentatively saying that it’d be hot, and it fits in the Domme/sub paradigm. Seen that way, it seemed to appeal to him.

But then I realized it wasn’t really a good idea. Not now, anyway. We aren’t on solid enough grounds, we aren’t good enough yet at communicating. We’d have to talk about it quite a bit, I’d say. And the thing is, if I’m not satisfied with our sex life, I don’t think sleeping around is a good idea at all. I believe it should be an enhancement to our sexuality, not a replacement or fix. Like I said, solid grounds… Otherwise, it would be too dangerous to our relationship.

There’s also the fact that I feel a little bad/guilty about it because of how unfair it might seen, especially knowing that Boy Toy believes in *open* relationships. Yet fair or not,  I know for a fact that I couldn’t bear with the idea of him sleeping with someone else. I’m wayy too insecure for that. I have issues with whether he likes hanging out with his friends more than with me, so imagine if he slept around! Obviously not a good idea. Not now, anyway. We have a few kinks to work out (excuse the pun), first.

Despite this, I do find the idea really hot and it is not impossible at all that we explore it in the future. I’ve already kissed another man, right in front of Boy Toy to boot. He didn’t mind at all

What’s interesting is that according to Wikipedia, there is a biological origin for the fetish of cuckolding:

“The excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain. When a male believes that his female mate may have been sexual with another male, the male mate is prompted by biological urges to copulate with the female, in an effort to “compete” with the other males’ sperm. The effects of sperm competition are well documented. Further, when initiating sex, the male mate thrusts harder, deeper and longer, in efforts to remove the sperm of the other male, and is biologically driven to have sex multiple times. While he may be unable to have sex more than once under usual circumstances, the cuckolded male is prone to repeated sexual efforts. Meanwhile, the wife enjoys greater sexual stimulation, first by her other male lover and second by her cuckolded husband. In addition, the wife enjoys the neurochemical “highs” triggered by entering into a romantic or physical relationship with another lover. These highs include the effects of oxytocin and other neurochemicals which trigger excitement, euphoria and other feelings common to the beginnings of romantic relationships. These neurochemicals change over time, and as a relationship persists, with neurochemicals changing to ones that promote bonding, planning and nurturing. When a wife takes a new lover, she triggers the neurochemicals of a new relationship, bringing home excitement to her husband.”

How fascinating is that?

The good news for Boy Toy and I in all this is that we got to talk about our sex life and we decided we will make more efforts to bring it back to life, so to speak. The other good news is that while talking about this, he started going on about how “just sex” isn’t that interesting to him, that he likes kinky stuff, etc., which surprised me in a way because of the break from kink he had asked for… When I reminded him of this, he said that he thought he had told me he was ready to start again. No, he hadn’t, but I’m happy to know it now  *evil grin*

What’s more, we now have something new to fantasize about. In fact, last night I dreamed I was meeting another man during my lunch hour, for sex. The details are blurry, but I remember getting into the restaurant and realizing there were all these people I know. He finally showed up and sat with me, and the people sitting behind him were a friend of mine and… an ex of his! So we left to find a hotel, and that’s about as much as I remember.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

I’ve got the winter blues, but I’m trying to make the best of it.

I think it’s working.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

It was his birthday last month, so I decided I’d do a little something. I couldn’t exactly go all out, since he doesn’t do birthdays (I think he doesn’t like all the attention) but he’s important to me and I wanted this day to be special. Aside from the three books I got him, I thought I’d cook for him. We love good food and usually find we can make the best dishes at home – restaurants often disappoint us. Besides, a tête-à-tête evening would be much more intimate.

I stopped by the house after work and set the stage: I still had a few things to pick up – a cake, wine and scallops – and I told him to close the curtains and make sure he stripped before I got back. When I returned, he was patiently waiting for me, sitting naked on the couch. Putting my bags on the counter top, I said “I’m going downstairs to change into something more comfortable. In the meantime, I want you to put on the chain harness.”

I selected a matching bra, garter belt and thong set and slipped a little tunic-like sleeveless shirt over it. If I bent forward slightly, my ass was exposed. I went back upstairs to find him wearing the harness, with the lock still open. When I noticed the lock, I said “What are you doing?” and quickly locked it, before he could so much as blink. He blushed.

I had him open the bottle of wine – a Masi Campofiorin – and pour us each a glass; the alcohol really helps relax him when he’s in a… predicament.

We started with the food, heating up the entrée I had already prepared the day before. When it was time to cook the scallops, Boy Toy went to work. That’s right, his birthday, yet he got to do (part of) the cooking. What can I say? He is the better cook and when it comes to cooking scallops to perfection… I trust him more than myself.

We sat at the table, I wearing my lingerie and he, his harness, and ate. The food was awesome. You cannot go wrong with seafood!

Once finished, we sat on the couch, sipping our wine. After a little while, I took a cushion and dropped it on the floor, in front of me. I looked at him, then pointedly at the cushion, and he understood. He went to his knees on the cushion, facing me. Without saying a word, I removed the socks, garter belt and thong.

He went to work and… Oh, God! It had been a while since he’d gone down on me. Having him strut around in his little chain harness all evening had gotten me in the mood quite nicely. Not to mention that he’s GOOD at oral sex! I believe I came in less than a minute, feeling his tongue on my sex, his face between my legs.

I did not intend on letting him cum. I thought this would make a great birthday gift: denial. But what do they say about the best laid plans? After my orgasm, he got up and, towering over me, started rubbing his penis on my wet pussy, kissing me, pinching  my nipples… Hmmmm. I grabbed him and got the head of his penis properly lubrified with my juices, then guided him in, saying he could have one stroke. Predictably, he started pumping and it felt too good to stop him. Soon, he was begging me to let him cum and I did not find the heart to refuse him.

I’m glad I didn’t, and I think he now appreciates birthdays just a little bit more.