I agree with you, and thanks for the insight. I think perhaps I should talk with him about it, sometime soon. What you say sounds true to me, but everyone’s different… I need to be a bit more aware of how Boy Toy feels about this

I enjoy chastity play when it’s play, not when it’s locking me up and leaving me out to dry for a day or two.

My two cents.

As for the baggy pants… I tend to think it’s a lame excuse because the chastity cage really scares him. If he hadn’t brought up the “issues to think about” thing, I probably would have ignored his complaints.

But yeah. I’ll give him complete freedom while I’m gone, instead. A gift. He hasn’t been able to jerk off in forever. When I come back, I can have a talk with him about his true feelings towards the device. Does he really have a love/hate thing for it? Or is it just normal that sometimes he’s just not in the mood? Need to work on that communication

His being upfront about working on other stuff first is good communication, I think. It’s just me who’s so insecure that this sort of comment brings me fear. I guess I didn’t think we were “working” on something serious enough to prevent us from doing chastity.

But if he says he’s not in the frame of mind for it, I’ll respect that. It’s not to say that I care only about his needs and wants, but if he doesn’t feel like playing this game, then I don’t feel like it either. It’s got to be hot to him for it to be hot to me.

Seriously, after reflecting on the last few months of your posts, I’m wondering if BT isn’t having doubts because it’s working better, albeit *differently* than he thought it would. That is, he introduced you to kink, and you took the ball and not only ran with it, but began playing your own game. That can be unnerving because he no longer has the control that he expected.

If he has some issues about having to wear baggy pants at the holidays (although it hasn’t affected me very much, so I’m not sure what the real problem could be), you might allow him to be uncaged, but disallow wanking expect by specific permission (a mid-week telephone call, for example).

Actually, he’s got this whole love/hate thing going on with the chastity devices, hasn’t he? Hmmm.

I never meant to imply that it’s [i]only[/i] about his desires. It’s about what you [i]both[/i] want. When both of your desires match up, that’s when things work best.

It’s good that he was up front about needing to work on other stuff first; it could’ve caused problems had you locked him up feeling that way and not knowing it. But to me, it doesn’t sound like a rejection of your domliness, or that you’re not doing it right or anything like that. It just says there are things that need to be worked out before reincorporating chastity. The hard part (from my perspective) seems to be finding a way to talk about things that works for both of you.