On toy reviews
Ever since I started this blog, I couldn’t help but notice that many sex bloggers post sex toy reviews. In exchange, the product seller sends them the item for free.
I’ve always been a bit unsure on this matter, when it comes to my blog. Boy Toy, on the other hand, thinks it’d be cool for me to get free toys. I agree, it’d be nice. But it seems to me that it would feel like a little of my blog was a little less “me”. Does that make any sense? On the other hand, I’d get free toys. And, I’d provide useful information, right? Because one thing is for sure, no matter what I post, I will remain honest. That’s very important to me.
I guess what makes me balk is the idea that I’d be doing it to get free stuff. Would it change the nature of my blog? Would it be perceived as “noise” or even advertising? And when one posts such a review, should there be a disclaimer to let readers know that the product they’re reviewing has been given them for free by the seller?
I did post a review or two in the past, actually. But the items I posted about were not given to me. The Fort Stainless Steel Locking Chastity Device, for instance. I paid for that. Does it make my review totally unbiased? I don’t know. But if you must know, I did make money with my review, indirectly. I have an affiliate account with Extreme Restraints and after posting about the Fort, a few people clicked on my link and bought it. I haven’t made enough to pay for the device, mind you. But it helps 
(By the way, the affiliate links were Boy Toy’s idea. Obviously he doesn’t have my scruples!)
That being said, I have been approached at least twice for product reviews. The first time, and I’ve mentioned this here before, I decided to give it a try. I provided my full name and mailing address with my choice of items, and never heard from the seller again. I was definitely put off… This is, after all, an anonymous blog. So thanks, assholes.
But anyway. I got another offer in the last couple of weeks. The site itself didn’t offer that great of a selection, IMHO. What was a little more interesting to me was the mention of competitions, free giveaways and special discounts for my readers. That’s something I might have gone for… but I have no idea if anyone who reads this would be interested. Once again, does it reek too much of advertising?
In the end, I sent a polite refusal because I couldn’t really find any interesting toy (for me) on the site. But I’d like to know, in the future, should such an offer surface again, is anyone interested in contests or discounts? And what are your thoughts on bloggers who post toy reviews? On affiliates?
I guess what I’m trying to do here is throw in a few thoughts and start a discussion. Thanks for your comments
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I want to specify that when I see other bloggers post reviews, it does not bother me in the least. I do not judge others. Actually, I like reading those reviews, especially if I’m interested in the toy.
Category: Ramblings, Review | 
26 Comments »
December 6th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
I think as long as your blog doesn’t become a sex toy review site, you don’t candy coat your reviews and you stay YOU….. I don’t see a problem with doing reviews.
There are some shady sites out there. I think it’s important to choose a site you *LIKE*. I have turned down several sites that approached me bc I didn’t care for them or what they had to offer.
Be true to you, do what you like to do.
December 7th, 2009 at 9:14 am
i feel that if You want to maintain the integrity of what You write, i would either do a full disclosure that You received the the product for free or purchase it yourself. You could instead pass special discounts to Your readers.
i listen to a lot of podcasts and this discussion comes up all the time. The ones who want to be honest and be able to say how they really feel either purchase the product themselves or send it back after the review(which is not really possible in this circumstance)
i feel your review of the chastity device was honest because you bought it.
Keep up the good work!
December 7th, 2009 at 10:59 am
I’ve had several offers to review toys, but I haven’t taken anyone up on it. For one thing, Mrs. Edge and I don’t really use them; that is, we don’t use very many. She doesn’t have any interest in trying a rabbit, a duckie, or any other of the new vibes that are on the market, so that cuts out like 3/4 of the potential toys.
And obviously she’s not going to want me trying out a fleshlight or other male toy
That said, I don’t mind giving mention to the companies that I think have done well for me. XR, Blowfish, the Stockroom, and Stormy Leather (now owned by the Stockroom) are my faves, and I continue to patronize them for replacement articles.
December 7th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Actually, I’d trust your reviews more than most that I’ve seen online, in part because of how you write about other things, and also in part because you needed to ask yourself this question. So I’d say go for it, if there are no constraints on what you say, and if you are comfortable with the site.
December 7th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I’ve often wondered about what it might be like to be in the position that someone is asking me to review their toys. The thought of getting some of the stuff that’s out there for free is fun, and my wife and I definitely enjoy playing with toys.
On the other hand… becoming a sellout is a big worry for me, too. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m saying good things about a toy simply because I got it for free.
It’s a fine line to walk, but as long as you think you can keep your voice while you’re writing about it I don’t see any reason why not to review toys for reputable sellers.
December 7th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I’ve had similar thoughts about doing toy reviews. I’ve been interested (especially in free toys!) but didn’t want to change the nature of my blog.
That being said, my first sex toy review will be posted tomorrow. Care to stop by and tell me how I did?
December 7th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Vixen: I think if the blogger ends up doing so many reviews, one option would be to start a separate blog dedicated to reviews.
And yes, remaining true to yourself and choosing the seller you review for probably makes a big difference in whether you’re a sellout or not.
December 7th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
lttlbtch72: you’re right, I think the full disclosure is important for integrity. That being said, I realize, now that I posted this, that when I wrote about the Fort, I did not mention my affiliate account with Extreme Restraints. Well, it’s probably fairly obvious, given the banner on the side… But still
December 7th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Tom: I getcha, I also like to give in a good word for products or sellers that I appreciate. Like a certain Tom Allen, who makes these awesome custom stainless steel parts for chastity devices. You should definitely look him up
December 7th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
djcinsb: Thanks for the good word! I know that I would not feel comfortable at all writing about a product and not saying what I really think. That would be one of my conditions for reviewing products: I say what I think. If I don’t like the product, I will say it.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
hersforever: yes, exactly, the “s” word. I guess that’s what I’d be afraid of, becoming, or being seen as, a sellout.
Although I know what I am or am not, and I hear you’re not supposed to worry about what others think
For sure my goal on this blog is to keep my voice, no matter what. That’s how and why I started this blog and it’s not about to change.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
hubman: can’t wait to check it out, and I’m sure you’ll do great!
December 8th, 2009 at 3:14 am
I think too many “reviewers” out here think they were specially chosen. Unfortunately, it’s more like answering spam. I have been asked on the same day as a dozen others because “I have a large readership” and “have the sort of blog that would fit their products”. HA!
That being said–I can see where the free toys would be enticing, but as you’ve written, selection and quality oftentimes sucks. Don’t get blinded by the word “FREE”. Do your research!
December 8th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Os, you’re right I’m afraid. I didn’t think of it as spam, per se, but now that you say it… The last to contact me, aside from offering toy reviews and discounts for my readers, wrote: “I would like to know how I can submit sex toy articles, press releases, and images for publication on your impressive website?”
Articles and press releases? Is he not aware that this is my personal blog? I guess not, since he called it “your impressive website” rather than “your personal blog”
December 8th, 2009 at 7:40 am
I echo what Os says. A few years ago, several of my blogging cohorts discovered that we were all sent the same email in he same week.
At one time I did have a link exchange with a toy company. A year later I did some housekeeping and removed a bunch of links. I got an email from them complaining, and requesting that I put it back up. I *then* discovered that the company did not even have a link to my blog. When I asked them about this, they told me that they had linked from another “affiliate”, which turned out to be simply a link aggragate. Looking back over my stats, I found I had almost no hits from that site anyway.
Also, be aware that a couple of years ago, one of the online toy companies got into some trouble because they accidentally sent around a link to their online Google doc spreadsheet, listing the blogs, real names, and addresses of the people who were on the testing list. They corrected it quickly, but the way that they handled it left some people in the sex blogging community a bit peeved.
December 8th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Pffbbttt…look at Os knocking free sex toys. He obviously doesn’t use them! *snort*
Hahaha!
Seriously, as I said before, I think the key is finding a sex toy site that you click with. If you were to do it that is.
December 8th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Tom: Uh. You made me realize that I had a link exchange with a toy company, too. About a month ago they wrote and asked that I put up a link. I didn’t see any harm in it, so I did.
I just checked and my link was on an affiliate site, like yours. And I just checked my stats, this link has brought me exactly zero visits in the last month.
DELETE!
December 8th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Just to add to this, the FTC just instituted new rules for bloggers regarding products reviews, endorsements and testimonials. Be careful that you keep on the right side of these rules in whatever you choose to do in the future.
http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2009/10/endortest.shtm
December 8th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Thanks for the info, Mary Ann! I’m not in the US, but in light of this discussion, I think if I did review a product, I’d want to make it clear if I paid for it or not. Only seems fair.
December 8th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
I don’t mind toy reviews sprinkled here and there on a personal site if one feels so inclined. I *have* purchased or not purchased something based on a review or two.
But for the love of littlebabyjesus, bring something fresh to the review. If I see another “sex blogger” review that starts with, “The packaging looks like X…” *Shakes head*
December 8th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Mouahaha! The worse part is, that’s probably what I would have done, because having never reviewed toys before, I would have looked around to see how others do it…
In fact, if you check out my review of The Fort, I’m pretty sure I mention how it was packaged… sorry
But hey, nice to hear from you, Ms I.
December 8th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Hurm. When I say “having never reviewed toys before”, I meant, having never done it for a seller who sent me the toy for free… Cuz yeah, I did review the Fort…
December 9th, 2009 at 12:24 am
No, no, no. I really liked your Fort review–even though I’d never really be in the market for it, it was incredibly intriguing and detailed (and I came back eagerly the next days to be sure to read all the parts!). I didn’t notice the packaging description.
I’m talking about the, “The packaging almost has a sensuous, erotic feel that would prepare me for the experience to come–the black velvet bag snuggled in the sleek box like a nesting lover coiled around her partner in a luscious embrace…” kind of review where it’s just *so* over the top…and we’re just on the packaging.
You know. THAT kind of thing.
December 9th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Oh! Gotcha. Yeah, not my type
December 9th, 2009 at 7:54 am
Yeah, some suppliers will give you suggestions for writing a review, for those people who don’t write often or aren’t sure what to say. And of course, it’s always tempting to mimic advertising copy that you see in glossy print.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Well that’s awesome, then, Tom! I’d get the free toy AND wouldn’t even have to work hard on writing the review?
Nah, in light of all the comments, I think I will only go for it if it’s a seller I really like. I’ll wait until I “feel” it. And I would disclose all links between me and the seller, whether it’s affiliate or free items to be reviewed. I would also say exactly what I think of the product. If I hate it, I hate it.
Thanks to everyone who responded!