I thought I had a pretty hot idea, leaving him a note to put on the CB6000, but after a few days I realized he just didn’t seem to be into it. No subby behavior, no constant arousal, nothing. A few kinky dreams, true, but the lack of reaction gave me enough second thoughts to go up and see him, last night, and tell him I didn’t think chastity play was a good idea at the moment. He said he had been having doubts too, given our problems these days, and I needed no more convincing, I gave him the key.

It’s a lesson learned. I wanted to spice things up a little, in the hope that the fun and games would make us feel better, bring us closer. Plus, I usually love locking him up because he becomes so subby and kinda desperate. It’s really hot, and I wanted this but it’s just not a good idea when our couple’s going through something of a crisis.

It seemed to be going well Saturday: we took a shower together and he asked to be unlocked so he could shave. I agreed, as long as he put it back on after. But being in each other’s company, naked under the hot water, almost always brings on naughtiness. I was determined to keep playing, though, so I let him touch me all over, bring me to orgasm, but I did not let him come. He was fucking horny and begged to come. I kept refusing him, until he suggested I handcuff him, make him come, then lock him back up before removing the handcuffs. I agreed. And then I added “I think this needs the strap-on.” Now, we were getting somewhere!

But what is it they say about the best laid plans? As soon as we got out of the shower, Boy Toy got the handcuffs out… and started fretting about the renovations he had planned on doing that day. When he said we’d have to hurry because he had work to do, it had the effect of a bucket of cold water on me. I told him we didn’t have to have sex if he wanted to work on his renovations, and he opted to go back in the CB. I felt horrible. He was choosing renovations over sex. He said he wasn’t, and that I always perceive things as an attack on myself, but, I mean… My feelings of being undesired came crashing down on me and that was it for the sexiness that day.

We had other difficult moments this weekend, but good ones too. As I mentioned in my previous post, we talked for almost 2 hours Friday night, while busy emptying a good bottle of wine. We had agreed to keep this talk positive, which was a wonderful idea. We talked about kink, among other things. Boy Toy described his first experience as a Dom. He told me he thinks he dominates the way he likes to be dominated; he likes to objectify, to make the sub know and feel that she is his, he likes to impose a position which leaves the sub totally exposed… A fascinating insight in how my Boy Toy thinks, and a great help for dominating him later. I was definitely taking notes.

Now, things are a bit better. I don’t know how, but I think we may have somehow re-opened the lines of communication. Maybe because I bombarded him with emails explaining how I felt, sharing some thoughts I suddenly had and just generally trying to bridge the gap between us. Something I said must have reached through to him, because he’s suddenly present and actually communicating. Right now, we’re chatting about some kinky stuff…