I was all for posting on my blog tonight because I haven’t in a while but it’s 1 am, and I’m so, so tired. But I’ll at least say “hi”. It’s been a long week. It doesn’t help that I go to bed too late, I imagine. Seems like there are so many things I’d like to do, but so little time!

There was a bit of butt plug action a few weeks ago which I never got around to mentioning here. Basically, one morning Boy Toy was joking about how the end of his curtain rod looks like a plug and I replied “That’s because you want to wear one… Go put the lion plug in.” He blushed, but he obliged. We then jumped in the shower and proceeded to our usual shower sex, with Boy Toy wearing the butt plug all the while. Sweet!

Aside from that, well, I’ve been thinking these days about how Halloween has become so sexy. Just to prove that I’m right, Vixen titled her Friday Favorites post “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like total sluts and no one can say anything about it”. Goes right along with what I’ve been thinking.

Check out costumes websites and you’ll see what I mean! The first one I googled for this post has 59 pages of adult costumes for women. It’s almost all the same combination of short skirt, high socks and tight top. What’s more, a lot of these sexy costumes have a hint of fetish to them, if you ask me. Sexy nurses, sexy nuns, sexy police-women… Don’t tell me none of that’s fetish!

There was actually an article in the paper about this sexy Halloween trend, today. It said that this trend has been going on for about 5 years now. They interviewed some sort of fashion expert/psychologist who said it’s because women these days are practically bombarded with images of scantily clad, uber-sexy women in the media. And while we might not feel it’s “proper” to dress like that every day, Halloween is the one day of the year when we can sort of compete with those images. We get the moral license to do so. Of course, this is said in my own words, with a brain that’s barely awake, so bear with me.

The article went on to say that this is not something we do consciously. I’d have to admit that in my case, I consciously wanted to be super sexy for Halloween. But it’s not done yet, we’ll see how much I dare…

And on that note, I’m off to bed. Sweet dreams!

Here’s the second edition of my Rejects series. I actually like these quite a lot, I find them very fun. Once again, I have to insist that the name of my series doesn’t mean I don’t like the pictures; it simply means I selected different ones for my post at the time. In this particular case, there were quite a few that I liked and I remember how difficult it was to choose.

This week’s rejects were taken for this HNT post, back in March. I put the first pictures through a different photoshop treatment. Today’s pics weren’t altered as much. I must admit, however, that I photoshopped my tattoo out of there, for anonymity’s sake. And there were two big folds in the skin of my back (on the click) because of how I’m standing, and I removed them. I think those with an eye for it might have noticed.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

Let’s do a bit of a “beginner” an educational type post, shall we? Boy Toy and I were talking about the CB6000 tonight and he jokingly suggested that I list, on my blog, 10 ways to get your man to wear a chastity device. I replied that I didn’t think I knew 10 ways to do that, but the challenge intrigued me. So here I am, we’ll see what I can come up with! After all, Google is my friend…

But a little intro for starters. I tell of the first time I ever locked up Boy Toy, here. This first experience was full of  the excitement and attraction of the new. I remember getting quite wet simply from having him locked up. Fun times! Back then, he could barely take a few hours of lock-up time. It wouldn’t take him long to start begging…

Now is a different story. He can easily go a week or two without showing much effect. I think it’s all show, though. As soon as he gets in the chastity device, he normally starts having kinky dreams. And I believe he gets wet quite a bit but just doesn’t tell me. Of course, I don’t tease him as much as I did that first time. I really should tease him more.

As for my reasons for locking him up, in the beginning it was simply for the fun of it, because it was available – he owned a device – and he seemed really, really scared of it. I wanted to see what effect it had on him. I probably wanted to show him I could be kinky, too! At any rate, it really was a game.

As time passed by, my reasons changed. I knew just how subby and desperately horny he becomes when wearing the device and I sought this. Sometimes probably for the wrong reasons: because we’d been having a rough patch and I wanted to have fun with him, so we’d feel closer and all. Thing is, the chastity game is in the mind and it’s a pretty vulnerable place to be, for the one who’s locked up. It took me a long time to really grasp this. It only really became clear to me very recently. If you read other kinky blogs online, you may have noticed they sometimes talk of the responsibility of the dominant partner towards the sub. Well, this qualifies: chastity play is just that, a game. If it stops being fun for either partner, then it should be stopped.

The claims you may read online about male chastity being a relationship “solution” or that it will save a marriage after the man has cheated are full of shit, if you ask me. “Secure your relationship”?!? I don’t buy any of that. I mean, come on! And by the way, what is up with declaring that masturbation is wrong? I just don’t get it. I don’t let Boy Toy masturbate, true, but that’s just because I like to have this control over him, not because I feel threatened in any way by his self-love habits. It’s just NOT THE SAME THING, so there’s no competition between the two acts. My opinion.

But anyway, back to the business at hand. Here are some ideas of how you can get your man to lock up his meat:

1-Trick him! Invent some story about needing this on him for a sexy photoshoot, for instance. Then hide the key when he isn’t looking. Make sure you have a hiding spot, first.

2-Tie him up! This would work especially well if he had no idea you have a chastity device. I strongly suggest you test the terrain first and make sure he finds the idea of chastity play hot. Then get him to play bondage with you, and surprise him!

3-Win it! Make a bet with him, or play some game to win the right to do whatever you want to him.

4-Deal for it! The first time I locked him up, he accepted to do it if I wore nothing but boots… Hell, yeah!

5-Order him to! If he’s anything like my Boy Toy, he’ll do it.

6-Get him to agree to it! It’s actually an extremely fun and sexy game, a treat, as Rika explains so well here. You could also tell him how wild, kinky and “out there” it is. What guy doesn’t dream of kinky sex stuff?

7-Make it part of a contract! If he agrees to sign a contract of submission to you, if he finds this idea hot, make sure one of the points says he will put on a chastity device any time you tell him to.

8-Some men will make it easy for you and ask you to be locked up. It seems to be an increasingly “popular” fetish.

9-Tempt him! You could try leaving it in plain view, with an open lock. What do they say again? Oh, yes: curiosity killed the cat!

10-… I don’t think I can think of a 10th way to get him to put on a cage! Oh well, 9 out of 10 ain’t bad

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PS: Boy, is there a lot of crap on the interweb about chastity! The christian “pure love” stuff scares me especially.

Last week, I posted some “rejects” from a previous HNT and they were quite appreciated. This gave me the idea of making a series out of my rejects, pictures I took for HNT purposes but which didn’t make the cut. What’s more, I don’t have to take new pics for a while, and this pleases the lazy slob in me. Nahhh, I’m just kidding, I’m just quite busy these days.

I have to insist that this doesn’t mean I don’t like these pictures; it simply means I selected different ones for my post at the time.

This weeks rejects were taken for this HNT, back in March.

Enjoy!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

I thought I had a pretty hot idea, leaving him a note to put on the CB6000, but after a few days I realized he just didn’t seem to be into it. No subby behavior, no constant arousal, nothing. A few kinky dreams, true, but the lack of reaction gave me enough second thoughts to go up and see him, last night, and tell him I didn’t think chastity play was a good idea at the moment. He said he had been having doubts too, given our problems these days, and I needed no more convincing, I gave him the key.

It’s a lesson learned. I wanted to spice things up a little, in the hope that the fun and games would make us feel better, bring us closer. Plus, I usually love locking him up because he becomes so subby and kinda desperate. It’s really hot, and I wanted this but it’s just not a good idea when our couple’s going through something of a crisis.

It seemed to be going well Saturday: we took a shower together and he asked to be unlocked so he could shave. I agreed, as long as he put it back on after. But being in each other’s company, naked under the hot water, almost always brings on naughtiness. I was determined to keep playing, though, so I let him touch me all over, bring me to orgasm, but I did not let him come. He was fucking horny and begged to come. I kept refusing him, until he suggested I handcuff him, make him come, then lock him back up before removing the handcuffs. I agreed. And then I added “I think this needs the strap-on.” Now, we were getting somewhere!

But what is it they say about the best laid plans? As soon as we got out of the shower, Boy Toy got the handcuffs out… and started fretting about the renovations he had planned on doing that day. When he said we’d have to hurry because he had work to do, it had the effect of a bucket of cold water on me. I told him we didn’t have to have sex if he wanted to work on his renovations, and he opted to go back in the CB. I felt horrible. He was choosing renovations over sex. He said he wasn’t, and that I always perceive things as an attack on myself, but, I mean… My feelings of being undesired came crashing down on me and that was it for the sexiness that day.

We had other difficult moments this weekend, but good ones too. As I mentioned in my previous post, we talked for almost 2 hours Friday night, while busy emptying a good bottle of wine. We had agreed to keep this talk positive, which was a wonderful idea. We talked about kink, among other things. Boy Toy described his first experience as a Dom. He told me he thinks he dominates the way he likes to be dominated; he likes to objectify, to make the sub know and feel that she is his, he likes to impose a position which leaves the sub totally exposed… A fascinating insight in how my Boy Toy thinks, and a great help for dominating him later. I was definitely taking notes.

Now, things are a bit better. I don’t know how, but I think we may have somehow re-opened the lines of communication. Maybe because I bombarded him with emails explaining how I felt, sharing some thoughts I suddenly had and just generally trying to bridge the gap between us. Something I said must have reached through to him, because he’s suddenly present and actually communicating. Right now, we’re chatting about some kinky stuff…

Yesterday night, before I went to bed, I left the CB6000 on the counter in the bathroom, with a post-it note which said “Put it on!”

It woke me up when he joined me at 2 am, and I sleepily felt his crotch to see if he had obeyed. “It’s on”, he said, and I went right back to sleep. Today, at work, I had afterthoughts so I emailed him to make sure he was ok with it, considering how things have been of late. We only got to talk about it when I got back home from work, but I’m satisfied that it’s not a hard limit. He says he’s ok with it as long as I don’t do it as a means of getting what I want. What I told him is: “I’m doing it to get what I want, yes. But not “relationship-wise” (which is what I think he meant). I’m doing it to get your attention, sexually.”

Because a locked-up Boy Toy is a different Boy Toy. I’m sure most men into chastity play know this. I guess maybe I’m cheating a bit, because I wish I had this kind of attention from him all the time, in the “normal” course of our relationship, if that makes any sense… He thought I was saying it was a means of getting more attention, but that’s not really it. It’s not the same kind of attention. Constant sexual awareness and wakefulness, is more like it. And I simply love that.

We opened a bottle of wine and talked, tonight. It was great. We talked about kink and I’m feeling more positive than I have in a long time. I’ll have to tell you all about it another time, right now I gotta go finish my wine.

I didn’t get a chance to take any new pictures since last week, so I dug up some “rejects” from a previous session. You might remember seeing similar pictures here. With retrospect, I’m not sure which ones I prefer anymore. It just goes to show, we simply to not see ourselves objectively!

Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

Minority Report was kind enough to grant me a Great Read Award! The rules are to list 10 things I do every day, and then pass the award along to 10 other bloggers. Now, I don’t do the tagging thing, but I’ll gladly be a good sport and share my list.

1-Shower
2-Drink coffee
3-Kiss my Boy Toy
4-Pet my cat
5-Check my emails
6-Read (almost every day)
7-Brush my teeth
8-Eat
9-Sleep
10-Drink water

Ok, I’m sorry, that’s a boring list! But I just couldn’t think of anything else I do constantly, every day.

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On a different note… I was just upstairs with Boy Toy when he happened to check out the new items over at Extreme Restraints. I don’t know how we could have possibly missed this before, but Oh My God! They have a new chastity device out that’s sorta kinda like a stainless steel version of the CB6000! It’s called the Fort Stainless Steel Locking Chastity Device and I’ve just got to have one.

Boy Toy looked pretty scared of the thing, all the more reason to get it. I told him it’s what I want for Christmas! Of course, he’ll come up with excuses not to buy it so I just might have to get it myself. Unfortunately, it’s currently out of stock, but I’ve entered my email so as to be notified as soon as it’s back!

I really, really want one.

Things often begin in the shower. We’re naked, it’s wet, hot and steamy. How could I resist his strong, manly body? It usually starts with offhand fondling. One of my favorite things to do is lube my hands with soap and jerk him off. He doesn’t know why, but this feels so very intense. I can’t go on like this for very long, though, it just feels too good and he might just come, which would foil my plans.

Wait, what? Plans? Yes, sometimes. Like last weekend. I played with him, had him penetrate me for a thrust or two… but never let him come. I had something in mind, something for after the shower. By the time we were all properly clean, he was begging me to let him come. He was starving, however, so I suggested he eat a banana before we got down to business. While he was sating one of his hungers, I rummaged through our toy box and fished out the handcuffs. He saw me, of course, and he was beginning to worry. A little.

I led him downstairs, in our bedroom. I had him kneel on the bed and I cuffed his hands behind his back. Satisfied with his position, I sat in front of him, propped against some pillows, naked still. I had my blue vibrator handy and I took it out of it’s little pouch. He was suddenly very attentive. I used the opportunity to talk a little about the kink in our relationship, but after a bit I felt too much like I was lecturing him so I started to masturbate in front of him. While he watched, I got myself all nice and wet. It was a little strange, doing something so intimate and personal in front of him. He seemed to enjoy watching it. It felt good, but I soon realized that I wasn’t going to climax, not that way.

I set his hands free and had him lay on his back, for another favorite of mine: I sit on his face, and he licks. Hmmmm. And because he is such a spoiled Boy Toy, I finished by fucking him to orgasm. I initially wanted to deny him but what is it they say about the best laid plans?

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It was a great way to start a lazy Saturday, but unfortunately things later turned sour. You may have noticed that I’m not writing much these days. It’s because things weren’t exactly going well. We kinda almost broke up and I guess we’ve both been doing a lot of thinking since. Our whole relationship has seen a lot of ups and downs and these days, it’s a lot more down than up. How ironic that just a short while ago, I posted about how well things were going…

I think we’ll be ok, but if we end up parting ways, I’m not sure what it would mean for this blog. Of course, we’ve been through hard times before and maybe this is just another one of those phases. After I started writing this post, he came downstairs and we talked for a bit. It went well, it felt kind of like progress. We have communication problems, he misunderstands me a lot, and I get upset a lot. I suggested we set aside some comfortable, relaxed time for talking and set some rules, like we aren’t allowed to interrupt the other, or we cannot get upset. We’ll see where this goes.

You can imagine the effect this has on our whole sex life… With the “disaster” of a few months ago, I’m feeling less than sure of myself. I want to go back to kink, I kinda feel everything is connected and so going back to “normal” is important to me, but it’s difficult. I do bring it up a lot, we just never manage to really get everything out in the open. There are a few things I’d like to talk about with Boy Toy, regarding kink, yet I have a hard time bringing them up, I’m not sure how to express them. Still, we do a little kink here and there, the first part of this post is a good example. I asked him this morning if he was ready to be “on” and he said yes. I wondered if it was a good idea, considering how things have been going… We agreed that we’d stop and re-evaluate if anything goes wrong. Once again, we’ll see where this goes.

I try to keep the kink and the “relationship stuff” apart but at the same time, they seem somewhat interrelated. For instance, something occured to me recently. Boy Toy has submissive tendencies, and I believe that a sub needs encouraging words, I believe he needs to be told he’s been good. And that’s something I don’t really do a lot, so maybe it makes him feel inadequate. Many signs point that way. It’s hard to say, though, he’s sometimes less than forthcoming about how he feels. In any case, I do intend on trying to give him more positive feedback.

The bottom line is, I do want this to work. We live together now, it would be silly to give up so easily. We love each other; we’re just pretty different, and not that good at understanding each other. The “different” part cannot change, but I sure as hell believe we can learn to communicate.

After my last series, maybe you were hoping for some ultra-awesomely-sexy HNT for tonight. It’s not quite what I’ve got.

But isn’t HNT about celebrating exposure? Here, I am exposed. I’m an avid reader; it’s a very personal thing, something done alone, whole worlds and stories emerging page after page, and tonight, I’m letting you in.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!