Tom over at The Edge of Vanilla wrote a great post this weekend, in which he attacks the common notion that to lock up a cock is emasculating, belittling. That it’s done for humiliation purposes, the penis basically considered useless. I had never thought about it that way myself, never really reflected on it, even though Boy Toy and I frequently indulge in orgasm control/denial, and I read Tom’s post with much fascination… and lust, I must admit. In it, he says:

“One of the reasons that she kinks on chastity and denying me, is that she sees it as having power over a part of me that in itself is powerful. Mrs. Edge does not lock up my “worthless little dickie” (or worse, my “sissy clitty”… ugh, sorry, just the term grates on me). Rather, she locks up my cock – my thick, raging, turgid, veiny, purple, manly, hard cock.”

Exactly!

Ok, I do not want to judge other people’s kinks, so if you do like the “worthless worm” type play, please don’t be offended. What’s hot to you is hot to you. And I guess it’s the game, the humiliation itself, that must be hot to both humiliator and humiliated. But it’s just not in me. I love Boy Toy and it does not feel natural at all to me, to treat him as a small man. I totally look up to him. Which might seem contradictory with the fact that I dominate him.

Yet it’s not. It’s all the more hot that this big, strong man whom I really admire and love, whom I think is smart, wild and independent, will kneel for me, submit to me. It’s not only hot, I see it as devotion and love. Sure, it turns him on, it’s not all selfless, but he wouldn’t let just anybody dominate him. And, well, I also love to have such an effect on him. I love to see his reactions, I feed off of them, as I’ve already mentioned before.

Ranat, in answer to Tom’s post, goes on to say:

“Another reason why I’m attracted to chastity/orgasm denial with male bodies is because of the cultural idea that their cock is valuable and worth something to them. And I get to have control over it even thought it is so valued, precious, and guarded.”

That’s also a pretty sizzling idea. Here’s that thing which has so much cultural bagage, and I get to lock it up and decide its faith. And judging by the effect locking it up has on Boy Toy, it IS important to him. Seems to me that a man’s penis is very central to him. It’s no wonder we constantly joke about men thinking with their penises…