A last minute, no inspiration, self-taken HNT, this week. Boy Toy’s busy and stressed, so I decided to go easy on him and do the job myself. If anyone has a suggestion for next week…

Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

Well, hello there. Yeah, I’m still here. I just haven’t had anything to say. I do feel a little bad about it; when I first started my blog, I was posting pretty much every day. Then it slowed down some and got into this groove, I’d post about 2-3 times a week and add a HNT as a bonus. At times when I didn’t feel like blogging, I made myself post at least once or twice a week, aside from HNT. Which means I had better post soon if I don’t want to miss the boat this week, right?

So here I am.

And I don’t have much to say. Things are still somewhat rocky with Boy Toy. Or maybe that’s just the norm, for us? Or maybe it’s just my distorted perception.

Anyway, we’re ok. Except when we fight, then it’s not so good. The rest of the time, we manage really well. We enjoy each other’s company, do our own things too, and throw in a bit of sex here and there. But no kink.

If you’ll remember, we had a bit of a situation last time I decided to play, it didn’t turn out as I had hoped. Things sucked for me after that; I got very insecure over the whole thing and Boy Toy needed time to think about it, which left me worried sick. Needlessly so, all I had to do was wait until he was ready to talk about it. I guess I’m just not the patient type… Bottom line is, this kind of play was pushing him too far and when I got mad at him on top of that, he sort of snapped. To my defense, he had gotten mad first… When he was done thinking about it and finally told me it was my mixing anger with domination that had bothered him, I explained why I had gotten mad and he went silent. I got the impression he had forgotten why I’d gotten mad in the first place, or maybe he hadn’t understood at the time. We left it at that, but a few days later I asked him if we were ok, in that regard. When he said that we were, I told him I wasn’t going to dominate him until he asked for it. Until he begged for it.

So far, he hasn’t. Considering he’s still head over heel in this project of his, it’s totally understandable. And I’m doing my best to stay true to my word, because I really want him to wake up one day REALLY missing this aspect of our relationship. I do want him to beg for it.

It’s hard, though. I’m not one to do much introspection and contemplation, so I’m not sure where D/s starts, exactly. If I grab his cock and balls in the shower and defiantly look him in the eye, does it count? What about the fact that I still want him to make my coffee on weekend mornings?

I’d say these days, there’s not much more hint of domination than that. Yet I have to admit I’m finding it hard to hold back, and I am looking forward to ordering him around. I want to play. But I want him to beg for it, so I’ll wait. I’ll try.

I’m feeling immensely better this week, so I will do a proper HNT with click-through and everything. These are more of the pictures Boy Toy took last week. I got the idea from a reader who suggested I do a HNT in diesel boy-style undies. I don’t have any of those but I figured I could do something a little boyish. Hence the tie. I’m not sure the results are EXACTLY what I had in mind, but nonetheless, here they are.

Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

Boy Toy and I let ourselves be dragged to another fetish thing not too long ago. We’re both a bit reticent to go, but not for the same reasons. I won’t speak for him, but myself, aside from being slightly shy/intimidated, I don’t really see what’s in it for me. I mean, sure, I guess we’re kinky, but my kinks are part of my sexuality, which for me is very personal. It’s not something I want to go to a club to do… I wouldn’t play with anyone else than Boy Toy, either. I wouldn’t play there, period.

Nonetheless, we decided to check it out. We did our best to dress the part, despite the short notice. This is when my PVC corset comes in handy… Boy Toy dressed pretty much as he usually does but added a collar and wrist cuffs. Our friend kept saying he might not be let in but we had no problem. Besides, I had a leash in my purse, just in case.

The place was pretty cool. Actually, just for the sightseeing, I thought it was worth going. Many were costumed. I imagine they wouldn’t call it that but it’s what came to my mind. In fact, I turned to Boy Toy and whispered “It’s like Halloween, but for sex!” Leather, latex, PVC, leashes, hoods, etc. I saw wings, I saw bare butts and boobs, I saw spankings and foot worship. Lots of eye candy; it was all a bit dazzling. We didn’t stay long though, the music just wasn’t to our liking. Too bad, I was itching to dance and felt pretty sexy in my PVC corset and skin-fitted pants.

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A little earlier tonight, we were sitting together on the couch. Boy Toy had his cute tight little jogging shorts. He was just back from his run. I love those shorts, you can see his shaft clearly outlined. And to think he goes out running like that…

I started distractingly stroking his penis through the fabric, as I often do. But usually I’ll just grab or touch briefly. This time, I went on long enough to get a reaction out of him. A sharp intake of breath which immediately caught my attention. Now focused on his face, I stroked more deliberately, yet still lightly. A tease of a touch that soon brought a hard and throbbing erection under my fingers, as he sat with his head leaning against the back of the couch, eyes closed, sometimes almost whimpering but not quite.

Checking the windows to see if any neighbor was watching, he pulled his pants down, freeing his cock. I think it’s the first time it had quite this effect on me: feeling the stiff member, its hardness, its heat, the blood flow underneath, the silky smoothness of its skin… it drove me wild. I mean, he usually turns me on but this time, it was… wow. Not fucking him was now totally out of the question.

I got up and closed the curtains immediately next to us. I didn’t bother with the others. I took off my pants and straddled him, taking him in my hand to guide him in. But not quite yet. I rubbed him against my lips first, luxuriating in the sensations, then pushing a little in, rubbing again, pushing in then finally, enclosing him completely in. I sat still for a moment before slowly, slowly moving up and down. Paused again, with him deep, deep inside of me. Started moving again but he urgently asked me to stop moving, as he was about to come. I smiled sweetly and suggested he think of baseball.

A few seconds later, we were both coming, together, intensely. I guess baseball isn’t his thing.

Last night, I was convinced we were breaking up. Kinda explains the gloomy words accompanying my HNT picture. I swear, my trigger-happiness will eventually split us up. You see, as soon as we fight, I come up with the magic words: “Maybe we’d be better off giving up…” Or one of its many variations. Talk about playing with fire.

I’ve been having a difficult time because Boy Toy is very, very busy. The atmosphere here is somewhat depressing (for me) and I’m finding it increasingly hard to cope. What’s more, I’m still getting used to living with him. I just suck at being alone. I did it for a long time, living on my own, but I didn’t exactly love it. I’d rather have someone around, even if that someone is sitting across the couch reading and we’re not talking. But the best is doing stuff with someone. Running errands, cooking supper, whatever. I just like having company, I feel more comfortable that way. He’s independent, though.

Anyway, I know that his busy phase is temporary. And I know it’s an important project to him, so I do try very, very hard to cope. Part of how I cope is talking about things, which is where some of the problem lies. We’re not that good at that… I invariably end up telling him how I feel in a way that makes him feel guilty/responsible/blamed, AND I tell him when he’s taking a break so he can spend a bit of time with me. From his perspective, he gets bitched at for not being with me enough when he’s making an effort to be with me. From my perspective, I’m just trying to communicate, to connect. Read the rest of this entry »

Tonight it feels like all that’s left between Boy Toy and I is uncertainty. Except that I do love him, so very fucking much. And I forgot to tell him that.

Anyway, since he took this picture earlier, I’m putting it up. No click through. If anyone wants to post that I’m up, over at Osbasso’s, be my guest. I’m going to bed.

Boy Toy was trying to help me with an exercise: I told him I’d like to get my butt a bit more toned and he suggested I do squats. When I had done a few, I remarked on how much it worked my inner thighs, which surprised him. Then he figured that perhaps it was different for me because our centers of gravity aren’t the same. To demonstrate, he knelt on the floor and bent forward, explaining that women can touch the ground with their nose that way, but not men.

I’m an opportunist. As he was kneeling, I hurried to stand in front of him, and said “It’s nice when you kneel like that in front of me.” He blushed.

We hadn’t had sex in a week. I had no orgasms during that time, and neither did Boy Toy. I know because I asked him… We aren’t back to our old kinky selves so I was wondering if he’d been masturbating or not. Normally, he isn’t allowed unless I say he can. When I questioned him, he said he hadn’t had time, so I guess it’s not even because he’s following my old rules. But anyway, the point is, we both hadn’t come since last Sunday.

Our shower this morning should have been the perfect opportunity – we almost only have shower sex these days. But I didn’t quite feel like initiating, and by the time it started sort of looking like things might get steamy, I was feeling a bit dizzy for standing so long in the stream of hot water and I had to get out.

While he was rummaging in the kitchen, looking for something to eat for breakfast, I went downstairs to get dressed. Wrapped in my towel, I let myself fall on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It occured to me that he hadn’t gone down on me in quite a while. A shame, he’s so good at it. As I lay there, I started fantasizing about calling him downstairs, instructing him to lay flat on the bed, and simply sitting on his face. Get my candy, but none for him. He’d catch the hint and start to work, I felt sure. Yet I went on staring at the ceiling and remained silent. We haven’t exactly been sexual of late, things have even been a bit tense, on my end. Not to mention that he’s asked for a “break from kink”, so that game’s on pause. How would he react if I did something that could be seen as simply sexual, but could also be read as me giving him an order?

Finally, I plunged. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m afraid to approach my partner for sex… I called out his name. When he shouted “What?” from upstairs, I couldn’t back down anymore. I said “Come down here for a minute.” He joined me downstairs, saw me on the bed and asked me what I wanted. I patted the bed next to me. When he sat down, I told him to lie back, and I did exactly as I had fantasized. I put a knee on each side of his face and unceremoniously lowered my pussy on his mouth.

I had figured right: he got the hint and went to work. Suckling and licking, it felt wonderful. Have I mentioned that he’s very good at this? And the position, me practically sitting on his face, sort of forcing him to service me… Fucking hot. I looked down at him, saw the expression on his face and my arousal went up a notch. As I neared climax, I sat a little heavier on his mouth, grinding into him. My orgasm was intense.

Spent, I fell beside him. He pulled me to him, mentionning how this had turned him on. I would have none of it. “Not now”, I said. “But I want to come”, he whimpered.

I find it so hard to say no. Perhaps I’m not truly dominant, I just love to see him come, I enjoy pleasuring him. I love the tease too, though, so I held my ground. I got dressed again and started back upstairs.

And as I was leaving him sprawled there on the bed, excited but denied, I said: “Thanks for the orgasm!”

I enjoyed giving you a peek into mine and Boy Toy’s life so much, last week, that this week I decided to show you more pictures from the same series. They were very fun to take, too. Boy Toy’s a very good sport when it comes to that sort of thing.

Oh and don’t forget that as usual, you should click.

Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

I think I need a house slave.

I have family coming over for supper, next weekend. It’ll be the first time anyone in my family visits me at Boy Toy’s, and boy, do I feel self-concious about the mess! I’ve been here a while now but I haven’t gotten around to getting the place girl-clean. It’s just too much for me alone, and Boy Toy’s been crazy busy, on top of everything.

That’s not to mention the whips, crops and paddles lying around. And dirty pictures. Ok, ok, the pictures aren’t that bad. Just sort of fetishy-glam. Boy Toy doesn’t think we should take them down for my visitors but I’m not so sure. I at least wanted to take down the ones of me… But Boy Toy thinks we shouldn’t. I guess this will be a good test? One thing’s for certain, the toys will be put away. They’re not that obvious but they COULD be noticed. Unless I tell them it’s part of the decor?

Read the rest of this entry »