Ownership vs love
“You’re a submissive for whoever you choose to be, when you choose to be. And that’s what makes being a Domme special as well, that someone has given all of that specifically to you.”
These are Electronic Doll’s words, in a response she made to one of Unspeakable Axe’s posts, and they cut me deep. They have made me realize what hurts so much about the current situation with Boy Toy: I feel as though he has chosen not to submit to me anymore, it is as if he has taken back what he had given specifically to me.
Maybe I just need a lesson in compartmentalization. Because I’ve come to kinda associate love with ownership. It’s makes what I had to say on the subject last September a little funny. Back then, I was a lot more hesitant with my affirmations about Boy Toy being my “sub”, or about admitting that we were D/s.
Damn these complicated somewhat D/s relationships!
Category: Ramblings | 
5 Comments »
June 30th, 2009 at 10:45 am
I don’t think you need a lesson in compartmentalization- equating love with ownership is a good thing. Some people have these soulless, bland d/s relationships with no love involved. Eew.
The hard part is that, just like with ‘nilla love, you will be hurt sometimes.
June 30th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Relationships are hard enough…but when you add in other factors like a D/s dynamic is makes them more complicated. I have found anyway.
And I can def see how feeling as if he has taken back his submissiveness/your ownership of him, would be hurtful.
xo
June 30th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Thanks, roo-roo. It’s true, I think, that equating love with ownership is good. The bad part is forgetting that we’re not just kinky, we’re a relationship too. Something along those lines
Vixen: Yes, it definitely makes it more complicated. I’m new at this, and I already wasn’t that great at relationships. My problem often lies with knowing where to draw the line.
July 2nd, 2009 at 6:36 am
i think the beauty of ownership is really when it coincides with love, when they overlap neatly. the same beauty-in-overlap lies in giving yourself into submission as well. i can only hope for time and concentrated communication to mend this pickle, or for your feelings of his holding back that special thing to be untrue in the first place. :/ ♥
July 5th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
danimo21: Apparently, he just needed a break. Which is ok, but I tend to freak out at things and get all scared. We’re pretty much ok now. Haven’t gone back to anything kinky, but the poor guy is working insane hours these days so I guess he does deserve that break