I wanted to post because, you know, I don’t want to neglect my blog. But if you’ve read my previous post, you know why I’m not feeling entirely up to it. Still, here’s a word or two.

We’re not doing that bad, really. As I said in my response to 13messages, we’re ok… Superficially. I exaggerate though, we’re pretty good. Boy Toy’s sweet, in a “Let’s not talk about the serious stuff” way. lol… Worse part is, this is true. He’s been calling me sexy, comes by to give me a peck every once in a while, stuff like that. Just now, he came downstairs and sat next to me on the couch, spent a few minutes just hanging there because, he said, he wanted to “say bye before I go to bed” (which I’ll do right after this).

So it’s good, but I wish we could talk about things. I’ll give him the time he asks for, but this is going against my nature. Maybe he’s the one who’s got it right, I don’t know. Think about it before talking… It sounds like a good plan but I have a hard time with it because I’m afraid we end up never talking about it. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic, but…

Anyway, that’s the status right now. We’re your plain vanilla couple, for the time being. It’s weird. Once in a while, I mention his 10 minutes (as you might know, he would kneel naked in front of me for 10 minutes every night) but seems that even that is out of the question. That’s one thing that really puts me off… I understand he doesn’t want to do the whole coming in front of me thing, but I’m baffled as to why everything else has to stop, too.

The funny thing is how hard I find this whole “being vanilla” thing. I’ve struggled so long with accepting that I, Elle, was actually kinky and all of a sudden, tables are turned and I find it hard just being vanilla. I feel kinda off-balance. I have to refrain myself from trying to make him do stuff, at times. I shouldn’t mention the 10 minutes at all, but I did just tonight. I could almost say that I don’t know what vanilla is, anymore. Or rather, that I don’t know how to be vanilla. Which is probably silly… Deep down our actual relationship is pretty down to earth: we respect each other, are fair and honest to each other, try to share chores (he isn’t my house-boy slave)… So I guess I just continue as is, except no naughty-naughty?

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. RossK said it well in his response to my last post: “My advice is to go vanilla for a while – and wait. He’ll come back to you and want you to dominate him again. (He has no choice, it’s in his nature, but perhaps he hasn’t learned to accept it yet.)”