I’ve been wanting some kinky sex, lately, but I’m not getting what I want. There are a few reasons for this. Boy Toy’s in a bit of a busy/stressed period, so he’s not much into sex these days. And I’m in a bit of an insecure/emotional period, which means I can’t seem to find it in myself to just do things to him. Actually, I’ve been reading back through my blog entries and I’m starting to see a pattern: I thought my insecure bouts were linked to something hormonal (PMS*), yet I seem to often mention Boy Toy’s busyness when I talk about my insecurity. Hmmm.

It’s not gotten out of hand this time, thankfully. I think I’m growing up  And summer helps (I get depressed in winter. I hate winter.). And living with Boy Toy helps too. But we’re still not doing kinky sex. I talked about making it happen, a few weeks ago, and how sometimes I don’t want to make him do it because I want him to want me. These days, though, it’s not what’s stopping me. No. It’s that I don’t know how to go about it, and I’m afraid he’ll say no. So fear of rejection. Have I ever mentioned that insecurity and domination don’t really go together? Read the rest of this entry »