I'm back! Well, I've been back a few days, but haven't had the time or energy or inspiration to write here. There isn't much happening in my world, in terms of kink, these days. I did broach the subject with a friend, though... It's interesting, the conceptions people have of kink, D/s or BDSM. Last week, a (vanilla) girlfriend of mine was going on about what kind of guy she would like to meet and I suggested: "You should go for a submissive guy." Her reaction was revulsion. "I'm not attracted to that type of guy, I need a strong-willed guy, someone with personality, a spine..." Which is exactly what Boy Toy is. Yet he's submissive. That's just it, though. If he was the spineless, "I'm worthless" kind of submissive, I wouldn't be attracted to him. I like that he submits to me, but I also love his spirit and it's with a lot of fondness that I call him a brat. Roo-roo had a nice way of putting it, a couple weeks back: "What fun is it to dominate a limp noodle?" His whole post was about exactly that. I might not be the most experienced Dom out there, but it seems kind of logical to me that a dominant woman would want to dominate someone who's strong. Submission means nothing if the person would obey anyone from the opposite sex. Boy Toy has told me quite a few times that he likes being owned by ME... And I like to think that he wouldn't obey another Dom, unless I told him to. He's independent, smart and self-confident, and he obeys me. The best part is that it turns him on. Now, THAT's hot! Roo-roo also mentions attraction, chemistry, and he's right. Of course, I'm talking about a relationship here. If my sub is also my boyfriend, then there's gotta be attraction and chemistry. And I'm sorry but I'm just not attracted to the insecure type. It's nice to feel proud of my Boy Toy, to think he's the hottest and greatest thing out there, AND to know that he'll kneel in front of me or wear a chastity device if I tell him to.