Comments on: Pain & mind games

By: Masochism and Malevolence « Lady Pandorah’s Sanctuary of Sensuality

Masochism and Malevolence « Lady Pandorah’s Sanctuary of Sensuality — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 11:23:59 +0000

[...] Relationships, Submission, LadyP, Power, Sex, Spanking, Love, Things are not right) I read a very interesting post by Elle recently. It got me thinking. How exactly do Mister and I run this ship of [...]

By: MyKey

MyKey — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:50:41 +0000

I agree with Roo, its all grist to the mill. You may not be comfortable dishing it out now, neither did Sandy for some years. As she got used to it though its got so she loves to do it.

It may not be for you, but I wouldnt discount it! Its fun

By: Elle

Elle — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 03:49:34 +0000

Thanks, LadyP. I would imagine the mind side of it is involved in pain-play. Lying there in anticipation for the next blow, knowing you’re letting your partner do this to you… So you get both.

By: ladypandorah

ladypandorah — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 20:26:35 +0000

This has actually made me think about how Mister and I go about things. Pain plays a large part in our times when the d/s comes to the fore in our playing. I’m more of the pain person than he is. I really am turned on by the spanking (hands and whips) and when he drives me so hard with his fingers that there’s too much pleasure it’s too much to handle.

I want to now take things further and explore the mind-led dominance. Both for him and for me when we switch.

I see a musing post in this….ta hun x

By: Elle

Elle — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:34:19 +0000

Roo-roo: Maybe I will get together and talk with her. It’s just not someone I know very much, and this is a very, very personal subject. I’ll see…

As for being taken beyond your comfort level… I’m sure I did it to Boy Toy when I used my strap-on on him

I didn’t know this about switches. Of course, I only have my own, pretty limited, experience to draw from.

Thumper: Pain is still something I have trouble with. I don’t like receiving it, and I’m not crazy about giving it either. But we make do

Vixen: Yes! I guess I’m so caught up in my own experiences sometimes I forget things can be different. I might talk to her.

By: Vixen

Vixen — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:48:55 +0000

It IS interesting how different D/s relationships can be. It’ll be interesting how your ‘chat’ goes.

By: The other side of control « Denying Thumper

The other side of control « Denying Thumper — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:22:25 +0000

[...] 6, 2009 in Life Elle, over on Kink Unleashed, has the other side of the fence’s perspective on the control thing. I’d say it’s about control. Mind games. Having the other at your mercy [...]

By: thumper

thumper — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:13:07 +0000

Wow, great minds think alike.

I love it when she hurts me, that’s just frosting on the cake. The main course is all about control.

Great post.

By: roo-roo

roo-roo — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:18:13 +0000

I think getting together with her to talk is a good idea. You might each turn each other on to something new.

Personally, I’m a fan of both of these flavors of bdsm, and I think they can both add a lot to a relationship. Yay for variety!

While the examples you mentioned are definitely hot, I think being taken by force and pushed beyond your comfort level is also really hot. Very animalistic and raw.

Also, from my experience, switches in general aren’t as big on d/s as other bdsmers are. There are exceptions, but I’ve found this to be true pretty often.

By: Elle

Elle — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:48:56 +0000

Well yes, of course. Maybe they did. I haven’t discussed this in great depths with them. But she’s younger and strikes me as… inexperienced? She’s gotten into this because of him so I’m not sure just how much of it she grasps and if there’s anything at all that comes from her. I’m aware I’m judging the book by its cover.

But I can’t help but think, from the impressions I get, that she’d probably like the whole psychological aspect of it more than the pain. Maybe one day I’ll know