I was walking down the street with a couple of co-workers. One said something about making others do her bidding (I forget what exactly she said) and the other replied "Where's your whip?" She was carrying a big purse, so she jokingly retorted that it was in there. I couldn't help but smile. Oh, they think me innocent, at work. I look the part, too. It's a corporate world out there, after all. But I smiled because I couldn't help but wonder how they would react if I casually informed them that Boy Toy and I do have a whip or two at home. And a crop. And a paddle or two. Handcuffs. Wrist and ankle restraints. Ropes and chains galore. Various vibrating sex toys, including two that work with a remote control. Collars and leashes. Butt plugs. A harness made out of chains. A strap-on harness with dildo. Chastity devices (for him). And... And I think I should make an inventory, one day. But yeah. If they only knew. __________________ PS: No HNT tonight, been too busy to take pictures.

When I went out of town a few weeks ago, I left Boy Toy behind wearing the CB6000. I wasn't gone very long but by the time I was back, he was in such a state! He kept having these kinky dreams and wrote several of them for me. This is the first. It begins as a party, but as time goes on I start to feel paranoid, like you are all up to something but no one is telling me what. Later, we are down in the bedroom and everyone is coming along. It feels strange because they seem to be looking at me with smiles and settling down there instead of in the kitchen as usual. Then I realize it’s some sort of collaring ceremony. You tell me to strip and I really don’t want to in front of everyone, and everyone is looking at me cheering me on, saying “Come on, hurry up, don’t back out..." I’m trying to talk, or well plead with you in private in a corner so they don’t hear but I’m pressured by all that's going on and I'm shaking with fear or nervousness. You give me no out and I want to argue but everyone is screaming “Come on, come on... Go, go go...” Then I remember undressing in the corner and as if that isn’t enough, you show up holding the crop, telling me to pick up and fold my clothing. Everyone is saying stuff like “Go Elle, go!” and cheering. I’m trying to keep my back to the crowd, trying to hide the fact that I’m wearing the CB6000! Then you want me to step up to a sort of post in the middle of the room. Despite the situation I’m trying to ask you where the bed went, while the crowd is around and I’m doing everything to hide myself. You order me to put my hands behind my neck or back and you say “Fully exposed, I want them to see you're my property and I control you.” I remember resisting going to the post but something is pushing me gently towards it. Then I’m being tied to the post and I’m asking, or begging, to have my hands free, but they want them tied way above so I’m stretched out, really uncomfortable and all exposed. While this is being done to me, I start feeling like I'm giving in. It seems the bed is there after all since they are standing up on it to tie my hands above. I remember too I was getting wet with pre-cum and everyone was noting this, I couldn’t hide with my hands. I remember realizing that they knew everything now, and feeling this internal conflict of trying to hide while being forced to show everything. Then you're reading the points of a contract out loud, and I don't remember a thing from this contract, I'm just saying “Yes my owner I agree” to every point because I want it to be over with so I can get dressed again and get out of the spotlight. I also don’t want them to hear the contract rules so I’m trying to make it fast so no one remembers, but it keeps dragging on and on. When it appears to be over, someone brings out this silk bag with stuff in it. Then I say, of all things, “The bag looks pretty but it’s probably just to lull me as to what’s inside.” Everybody laughs at that and I start to feel a little more at ease. You take out one item after another. The first is a metal collar and everyone goes “ohhhhhh, ahhhh”. Then you take out wrist restraints and now I’m getting impatient again, I just want to run and hide from everyone. The last item you show everyone is a metal chastity cage and I say “oh, shit!” and I can’t remember but I think you put it on me. Next we are standing, back in the corner, and I feel more comfortable because it’s darker. I’m in a position but I know I’m wet like hell and I want to use my hands to wipe myself, but they are behind my neck and I'm too fearful or obedient to move them. People are coming by to talk and of all people, S is there saying stuff like “Wow that’s nice, yes, fantastic, look at him, he knows his place now...” He goes on about how nice the decorations are, and says strange things like “It’s more normal this way, I stand back and see a perfect couple, with him as property...” I remember being in a really pissy mood, I have no clue why, but I wanted him to shut up and not learn more. Then there is this other couple, with the boyfriend far behind and her really fucking nervous and excited. She is really pissing me off but you seem to be all intrigued. I want to tell her to shut up but I realize I’m too submissive right now. She asks you to teach her stuff, she wants to enter the same kind of relationship. You tell her to pass by sometime and as soon as you say that, she calms right down and starts talking in a relaxed way. I’m thinking “Ok, stay calm like that and I’ll be happy” while you're telling her stuff about CFNM and chastity. Then it’s S again. He wants to head out to the club, and he’s getting pissed off because everyone wants to stay. We are now back in the kitchen and I’m forced to remain naked because everyone is celebrating. S comes up to you and I tell you: “Ok, he’s going to ask us to go to the club again!” but he's just asking you more questions. As I listen to your answers I realize they are about what the contract rules were. I keep listening, trying to remember if those were actually the rules. Seems like you want me to remain naked for a week, in collar and all, and I’m not to go out to the club or anywhere else because I’d have to get dressed. S asks you about moving in with me and you say: “I wanted to collar him before I move in, I don’t want any problems.” Then you're leaving with a bunch of people, smiling at me, and C is saying he’ll keep me company for a while. You give him a bottle of vodka and tell him to make me drink a bit to relax me. Later you call to check up on me and ask if the collar is comfortable. The funny thing is that I’m thinking I could lie and get out of it, say it’s too tight, but I’m too drunk and relaxed and I say the opposite! Then I tell you that the staying naked for a week thing might not be possible, clients could come over or I could have to go see them. You answer that it's an absolute no, nothing gets in the way of my training and conditioning, I will have to tell them to come by next week. You tell me that if I do what I’m told, I’ll be able to wear clothing the following week for those occasions when I'll have to see clients. I start getting nervous, factoring everything in, thinking of how I’ll fall into submission, how I’ll have to explain to clients that I can’t see them this week, wondering how I’ll get paid if I have to stay naked, realizing that I might become conditioned to stay naked and I'll probably start feeling comfortable, remember how very firm you were, thinking that it could work in breaking me, and then I woke up! Then again, I left out a bunch of weird things, like the cat talking to me, telling me that she wanted to go outside. And this old lady, I think it was someone who used to come to the bar, but she was playing a harpsichord. I just remember all the details on the wood of the instrument.

We were hanging out with a couple of girlfriends; they had stopped by for a few drinks on their way to the club. While A was getting ready in the washroom, Boy Toy, M2 and I chatted in the kitchen. In the course of our idle talk, M2 mentioned she might come out with us the next day, without her boyfriend M. We encouraged her. "Yes, come, you'll have fun with us, you'll see! Who needs M!?" We were mock-serious, of course. Oh, we wanted her to come along, true, but we've got nothing against her boyfriend, who's a good friend of mine. Just a little harmless teasing. But she answered "It COULD be good, being able to have fun and not constantly watch out after him to make sure he isn't doing anything with other girls..." M and M2 are supposedly an open couple. At least, that's what M tells me, that his girlfriend is OK with that kind of stuff. I'm really not aware of any more details than that and frankly, I don't want to know. It's their business. And I would have nothing against it, except for this feeling that maybe M2 isn't as happy as she tells her boyfriend about sharing him. Her comment that night only confirms my feeling. It's still none of my business, but it saddens me a little. So I told her: "You know, there's a way you wouldn't ever worry about such things..." I saw Boy Toy blush across the table. Her interest now piqued, I found myself unable to utter the words. Despite knowing that my friends enjoy kink, suggesting they use a chastity device pretty much amounts to telling them Boy Toy and I are into it ourselves. I looked at Boy Toy and said "Why don't you tell her?" He turned towards her, said "Hey, I was surprised seeing you without M the other day!" I laughed at his abrupt change of subject and left him to fumble his way out of it. But the feeling stayed with me after: I wished I had told her. The next day, M2 came along with her boyfriend. Apparently he had changed his mind about going out. No matter, every time I looked at M2, I felt the urge to tell her. I felt sure she would really, really enjoy chastity play. So I hung around her, trying to gather the guts to bring it up. At one point during the evening, I was sitting next to M2 who was talking with her boyfriend when our friend C walked by. He's brought up chastity cages before, with Boy Toy and I trying to keep a straight face.  "Psssst! Come here!" I told him. "I need help! I want to tell M2 about chastity devices... I think she'd enjoy them!" C agreed with me: "She says she wishes M was more submissive", he revealed. "Let's call her over." And he did. Now there was no way out, I had to tell her. If I didn't, C would anyway. So I jumped in: "I wanted to tell you about chastity cages... I think you'd enjoy that kind of play." To my surprise, she answered something like "Yeah, I know. M mentioned such things and would like us to try." Ah, so she already knew about the things... That made it easier. Still embarrassing, but easier.  We talked about it a bit more and I told her she definitely should surf around and read blogs about it to see just how hot chastity is. I'm convinced she'd love it, and I strongly encouraged her to give it a shot. It would totally bring out the sub in M, who is something of a switch though his girlfriend doesn't want to bottom. I told M2 how she'd never worry if M was under lock... She said "So when I work night shifts, I could simply lock him up until I'm back?" That's right, you got it. And as a bonus, he'll want to serve and please you. When we were done with our little conversation, I turned towards C and told him "The seed is planted." And then, as an afterthought: "By the way, if I know so much about chastity devices, it's from reading about them online." I'm sure he believed me. Today, when I got back home, I emailed M2 the link to the CB6000. My work was done. I've given her information and a little nudge of encouragement, the rest is up to her. We'll see what she does with it... That is, if she ever tells me. It's not an easy thing to share.

I've been so busy, I almost forgot it was HNT time. What blasphemy ;)

Of course, there's been no time for new pictures. No matter, it's the perfect occasion to revisit a favorite series of mine. No click-through this time, though. No time. Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!   

I felt hot that night. An appropriate state of mind for my second fetish event... This time it was a private party. Our friends insisted Boy Toy and I go but we didn't really feel up for it. I'm a little uneasy about such events. Play, for me, is a private thing. It's sex. I wasn't sure what I would see there. But a few hours before the party, I asked Boy Toy if he felt like going. I had decided that if he did want to go, then maybe it'd be fun to try. I told him, though, that he'd have to be my slave boy and stay by my side. He was wearing the CB6000. I joked that he was dressed for the occasion. He was uncomfortable in it with the pants I wanted him to wear, though, so I let him out. I'm just that nice. A friend of ours joined us at Boy Toy's and the three of us walked to the party. When we walked in, we were greeted by a slave who took our coats for us. Two more of our friends showed up right behind us. They were the ones who tried to convince us to go and we hadn't told them we had changed our minds, so they were quite surprised to see us there. There were two rooms at this party. A playroom and a main room where people just chatted, sipped a drink and listened to music. I walked into the main room with my friends and was introduced to a few people. I was standing with my friend A when a guy dressed as a girl approached me and introduced himself (herself?). He called himself by a girl's name and preceded it with the word "slave". As if I would introduce myself saying: "I am slave Elle". Let's call him Slave Girl. He asked me if I was dominant and I said yes. By then, Boy Toy had gone outside with a friend to smoke. So I grabbed A's hand and said she was my sub. Slave Girl asked me several questions. Had I been her Mistress for a long time? "No, it's a recent thing", I told him. I made things up as I went along, until Slave Girl asked me if I also played with male submissives. And said he/she would like to play with me. I replied that I did in fact have a male slave already, that he was outside smoking... Slave Girl insisted, so much so that I sent another friend to fetch Boy Toy. A little later, I was still holding A's hand and a girl approached us. She knew A already, had met her at a previous party. She looked me up and down and told A she really liked what we had going on. "I like this better than your last companion", she said. She was referring to A's boyfriend! Apparently, I'm hotter ;) Someone produced a leash, which ended up being attached to A's neck and I held her leash for the rest of the night. We figured this would reduce the amount of playing propositions we'd receive... But I think it just attracted more looks. Boy Toy told me later that me holding A's leash was the most erotic thing he saw all night. And that's saying a lot since there was bare-bum spankings going on in the other room, as well as foot worship. But, as he explained, in our case it left a lot to the imagination. What was our relationship like? What do we do when we play? It was strange, being A's "Mistress". I kinda liked it, I felt sexy and comfortable doing it. There is nothing sexual between us, mind you. But somehow, I felt responsible for her, just as a dom is responsible for their sub. I kept asking if she was ok with things and I became quite protective. I kissed her every once in a while. A peck on the cheek or on the lips. Eventually, her boyfriend arrived. He walked into the place and saw us across the room, me holding his girlfriend on a leash. I like to think it turned him on... We stayed at the party for a while, then walked to our usual club. All in all, it was a fun, sexy evening. Boy Toy didn't even have to stay by my side all the time: A and I were quite a success. It strikes me as funny since this wasn't planned and she isn't anything near my slave. It would have been more appropriate, and nearer to the truth, if I had held Boy Toy on a leash but for some reason, it was far easier for me to do it with A. Probably because we were playacting. With Boy Toy, it would have been real. And although I do dominate him, I just don't think pulling him around on a leash is part of our dynamic. It hasn't been so far, anyway. The only hitch in the evening was Slave Girl. I tried to remain respectful. It was a kinky party - if there was ever a place where a guy can dress as a girl and call himself a slave, this was it. Yet... This wasn't my kink and so it did seem a little weird to me. The whole "I'm a slave" attitude, too, and the invitation to play. Let's not forget that before Boy Toy, I wasn't into kink. I've started down that road with him and have only done it with him. It's very private for me... And we don't usually go to fetish nights either. I had read enough on the Internet (roo-roo for example, has a lot of smart, no-nonsense opinions on BDSM) and talked enough about it with Boy Toy to know that such subby, grovelling attitude existed. I just wasn't sure how to react to it. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that bad and he didn't push (well, only a little). It was just a little off-putting. I guess at a kinky party, I should expect invitations to play, though. He couldn't have known that I just wouldn't play with strangers. And that I only do kink/sex with Boy Toy. At least he was respectful and asked if I play with male subs before proposing play. After all, I could have been into females only. Or I could have been a sub! We talked about it afterward, Boy Toy and I. He's been to a LOT of fetish events in his time, and he told me how he hates that submissive/grovelling attitude where the guy jumps on the first pretty female that walks in, calls her "Mistress" and asks if he can worship her feet. Unfortunately, it seems like the fetish scene teems with such individuals and the only way to avoid it is to filter them out. Or have a tall and strong Boy Toy to "protect" me :) But yeah, I think I would repeat the experience, it was quite fun. Maybe our friends will manage to drag us there more often.

Last week, I wrote of my sometimes hesitation to put Boy Toy in a chastity device because of underlying issues. I tend to over-think and over-worry and in this case, I was afraid of the occasional resentment I feel when Boy Toy is really busy, afraid that I'd be using the CB6000 as some sort of misplaced punishment. But Web made a comment that struck me:

"It may be that his inattention is his way of saying pay attention to me, by showing me you are in control, or you want to control me."

Ah. Well, we HAD been stuck in something of a rut. Both pretty stressed, Boy Toy especially busy. And me, trying to give him all the space I could despite needing his comfort, feeling sometimes neglected and therefore, not sexy/kinky at all. Maybe if I quit thinking so hard about it and just tried... So last Thursday, I sent him this email:

I want you to wear the CB while I'm gone. It'd be perfect if you put it on tonight at 6, when I'm due to take the train. Use one of the little plastic lock thingies (safer, since I'll be far away with the key) and text me the little number on it. I like knowing you're wearing it while I'm gone, I like the subby feelings it causes in you.

I wasn't sure what his response would be, considering how things had been lately and considering my instructions were given in a very mild manner (in my opinion). Well, he immediately emailed back asking if he could masturbate before, because it had already been several days since he last had an orgasm. After some thought, I replied: "Ok. Just before." This was the last we spoke before I left. At 6 PM, I checked my phone for a text message from Boy Toy, but there was none. I checked again a little while later and when I saw there still wasn't one, I figured something must be keeping him. Maybe he was so stressed he was having a hard time with the masturbating part... Around 6:30, he finally texts me. Someone kept him on the phone until 6:20. This made him so nervous he rushed in the bathroom to obey my instructions and put the CB on, skipped the masturbation part because he was late, and in his haste, rather than using a numbered plastic lock, he used an actual padlock. So there was my poor Boy Toy, his cock locked away, with the key on the train with me, his last orgasm a few days before and feeling totally subby. I was delighted and a little incredulous at how easily and deeply he fell into sub-mode. I spent a wonderful weekend away, knowing the state my boy was in. I got back in town late Monday only to find Boy Toy had emailed me four dreams (he's required to write down his kinky dreams for me)! I worked on Tuesday and wasn't sure I wanted to stop by Boy Toy's after work, I was pretty exhausted. But then I remembered I had been trying to send him instructions, a couple weeks ago, and hadn't been successful because he was just too busy to check his emails. Frustrating indeed! But now was the perfect time... Once again, I emailed him my instructions: I wanted him to cook a nice, romantic supper for me, to be naked when I arrived and to have my workout outfit ready. And you know what? My instructions had the most surprising effect on him. When I commented on how amazing his attitude was, he sent me this reply:

I'm not sure of my condition, or state. When I was reading your instructions it felt as though they were caressing every cord in my body... it was like a trance, and a vision of red silk or scarf floating in... And I felt dampness in the cage. Not sure what's wrong with me! :$

Then when I was preparing your workout stuff, fear struck me (as well as the collar, it got hooked in your top and fell on my head), that you might not show up with a key or you might want to keep me in it!!! And now I'm still breathing erratically!

I'll try to concentrate.

Wow. And red silk? That trigger word from the hypnosis recording I had him listen to back in November? Very, very interesting. So a little after 5 yesterday, I walked in a dark, clean house. And there stood my naked Boy Toy in his CB, looking terribly shy. Being exposed this way while I'm dressed will do that to him. I had a quick bite (because I wanted to workout before supper) and we spent a good amount of time catching up: I hadn't seen him in over a week! We talked and talked until finally, I went for my workout while he cooked. When all was ready, we ate a delicious seafood meal in the candlelit kitchen. My Boy Toy is the best cook I know. And he looked so cute, sitting there naked. We finished eating. Boy Toy had no more instructions to follow, but I decided I needed a massage. I stripped and lay down, and Boy Toy rubbed the oil into my sore muscles. He did a thorough job which he ended with a... special massage. His fingers (and his wonderful subby state) worked magic on me. I came hard, and fast. He was still wearing the CB. We cuddled, naked and breathless. I was now on top of him and he eventually motioned for me to move atop his face. Once again, his tongue on my pussy and his fingers pinching my nipples, I came in about a second. At this point, Boy Toy started asking me to let him come. I, on the other hand, kept talking about how good he was, how awesome his attitude, when he's in the CB. "I can't find any cons" I told him. And it was true! But I also wanted to scare him. Finally, Boy Toy offered that I tie him up, make him come and put the CB back on. Great idea! I immediately grabbed some ankle and wrist cuffs, as well as rope. He watched me binding him, visibly questioning his own suggestion. It was too late, though. My mind was set. Once satisfied with my handiwork, I sat next to him and ran my hands lazily up and down his body. I kissed him and fondled his balls. And finally, I removed the CB. With deft fingers, I caressed, teased and massaged his penis. Then I moved on top of him, guided him in. He gasped, mumbled that it felt "so good". I picked up a little speed and he suddenly begged me not to stop. I didn't. I went harder and faster and as he came, he breathed "thank you". A minute later, he was giggling, a sign of a damn good orgasm. This is when Boy Toy started really regretting his brilliant idea. He asked to be left free and promised he'd put the CB back on in two days. And I'm just so easy on him that I agreed. I wouldn't see him during that time anyway, and I'd be back at his place on time to lock the thing back on his cock. Let him clean up and shave properly, the poor thing. Oh, and he also promised to try keeping the "CB attitude" even with the thing off. At this, I whispered in his ear that he better do a good job of it: as soon as I don't approve of his attitude, I'll lock him up again. I thoroughly enjoyed this little experiment. We definitely needed that. Hell, I think HE needed the domination. So tomorrow, the CB should be back on.

I'm a busy gal these days and we simply couldn't get around to taking new HNT pictures this week. So, I decided I'd use some of the leftovers from last week... Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!   

I'm back. Ohhh but I have a lot to tell you! After posting about the complications of playing dominant when there are feelings involved, sometimes even resentment, I thought and thought about it and finally, I decided to have Boy Toy wear the CB6000 while I was away. So I emailed him my instructions... Problem is, it's late and I am totally pooped. As much as I want to tell you all about it, it'll have to wait till later. Good night!

I've been running around all week, since I'll be going out of town this weekend - sans Boy Toy. So many preparations for such a short trip! We did take the time for a little HNT photo session, though. And since I'm thinking of going to bed early... Could someone please post a comment on Osbasso's blog to let everyone know I'm up? Thanks much. Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!    PS: Don't forget to click.

Emotions often make me shy away from "playing" with Boy Toy. I mean, for example, if I find that Boy Toy hasn't been paying me, his alleged Owner, enough attention and I'm feeling bad about it, the thought sneaks up on me: I could simply put him in the CB6000, keep him in there a few days, maybe a week or a month, and see how his attitude is then. My gut feeling is that this isn't right, and so I don't do it. Many a time, I've refrained from putting him in the device (or any similar mistreatment) because I had some sort of emotion attached to the situation. Yet... it would work, wouldn't it? Put Boy Toy in a chastity device and trust me, he becomes a much sweeter, loving boyfriend. What girl doesn't want an attentive lover?  The problem, I'd say, lies with the intention behind the order. I wouldn't be playing Dom, would I? I'd be doing it to satisfy something else. I think. My thoughts on the matter are not completely formed. So far, I've been going with the assumption that feelings don't mix too well with D/s. Well, to an extent. If you love and care about your partner, I believe the D/s dynamic will be all the hotter. Good feelings are good. Just as bad feelings are bad. Unless... one could get a positive outcome out of it? If Boy Toy in a CB6000 is more attentive (while super horny and loving it) and I am happier, is this wrong? Actually, I touched the whole "using D/s to resolve a problem" thing in a recent post:

I tried using D/s to resolve a problem. Well, not a problem per say, but a situation which, in my opinion, could improve. I thought it was a good idea; Boy Toy gets all subby and turned on when I order him around. But when this didn’t work, I got upset because things didn’t improve AND because Boy Toy didn’t obey. We got into an argument over it. And on top of everything, the next day, I punished him for it! I called it discipline, but I’m pretty sure my frustrations had a lot to do with it. 

Yeah. So when I wrote this, seems I was pretty sure it was a big no-no. But what if we had communicated about it better and I hadn't gotten upset when it didn't work? Couldn't it be a fun, sexy way to improve on certain situations? Putting aside my obvious lack of control when it comes to my emotions... I've laid down a few thoughts here but I'm interested in knowing what YOU all think about it.