the effect is the most important thing
I call her my tantric goddess.

MyKey: thanks for the tip, I’ll try to get around to checking out “around her finger” and showing Boy Toy… Probably after the Hollidays, it’s getting a bit hectic!

Roo-roo its those little touches that made it so good. And I so envy your life of Amazonian drudgery.

Elise again. I used to think she was pretty interesting once. Trouble is there are enough gems in there that help you recongnise aspects of yourself, so the whole thing is perfused with an aura of ‘wisdom’. But to each his own, I am sure her brand works for people, just not all people. Try BoyToy on ‘around her finger’. Its along similar lines but not quite as extreme. Glad you didnt run away, you seem to be a natural at this game.

To be fair, it’s perfectly okay for people to have their kinks. If BT or anybody else gets off on Sutton, then that’s great. The problem comes when they find a partner who has a different perspective. Most women do not want their big, strong, hairy husbands dressing in frills and wigs. A women who will go along with the femdom kink probably will draw the line at cuckolding, permanent chastity, and feminization.

Hopefully, Elle, you’ll be able to explore this at your own pace and be able to negotiate those things that you enjoy.

Thanks for the entertainment… and the education! I had to look up the “Sontaran women” reference, and hurm, yeah, not so pretty. I’m not sure I would have caught on to the Domes/Slavs thing it if it hadn’t been for MyKey, I’m afraid. I think that some allusions or nuances go right over my head, sometimes, because my first language isn’t English. Or because I’m plain ignorant

Now about Elise Sutton… I did try to keep and open mind about her. I hate to admit this but Boy Toy admires her. He told me about her quite early on… Actually, I mention this in one of my first posts. At that time, I went on to read most of her site and although for a while I did get pissy at Boy Toy’s not doing as I said (maybe I was just pms-ing!), it didn’t take long before her gross generalizations and lack of actual facts turned me off. Her excuse of “I’ve been doing this a long time so I know what I’m talking about” just doesn’t stand on its own. I remember telling exactly this to Boy Toy, and I think I even told him her writing wasn’t that great and that I could probably make a better site than hers. LOL

As MyKey says… “How many women, scared to explore their own or their partners needs dip their toe in the water and run away screaming after seeing this rubbish.” I’m lucky this didn’t make me shy away from D/s forever, because it’s quite clear I don’t share her views.

roo-roo: if your wisdom is ancient, well then mine’s prehistoric

A Sontaran from Dr Who.

That link by the way is a masterpiece of one handed pastiche! I nearly pissed myself only my wife lockd me at home with a tube from cock to mouth an if I piss I drink it all while she is fucking some guy and I hate it but she is so sexy. So I didnt.

Yoda loves strap-on sex? He just gets cooler and cooler. Have me he could!

Labels can be useful as a quick way of saying something. But they can also be detrimental since they carry with them connotations and assumptions. I use labels as vague tools to get me in the general area. Beyond that level, individual thoughts and experiences render most labels meaningless.

Elise Sutton is on crack probably responsible for hundreds, if not thousands, of breakups. Her advice has nothing to do with real-world bdsm; it’s just another narrow-minded, overly-idealistic, One True Way® pile of steaming propaganda. As you said, she makes horribly wrong generalizations, as well as assuming that everyone has the same fetishes/interests as she does. It really wouldn’t surprise me if Elise Sutton turned out to be another inexperienced online role-player who would run if ever presented with someone who’s actually into bdsm.