Comments on: The sun shines after the storm http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/ Ramblings of a playful girl Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:44:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:38:48 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-910 Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It's hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don't get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument. All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I'm trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;) But we'll get there, you'll see! We've been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :) Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It’s hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don’t get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument.

All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I’m trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;)

But we’ll get there, you’ll see! We’ve been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :)

]]> By: Nolens Volens http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Nolens Volens Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:07:38 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-908 The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You'd be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :) The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You’d be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :)

]]> By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:42:28 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-907 Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him. It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us. So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;) This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it

Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him.

It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us.

So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;)

This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D

]]> By: Axe http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/ Ramblings of a playful girl Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:44:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Comments on: The sun shines after the storm http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/ Ramblings of a playful girl Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:44:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:38:48 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-910 Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It's hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don't get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument. All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I'm trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;) But we'll get there, you'll see! We've been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :) Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It’s hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don’t get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument.

All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I’m trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;)

But we’ll get there, you’ll see! We’ve been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :)

]]> By: Nolens Volens http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Nolens Volens Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:07:38 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-908 The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You'd be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :) The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You’d be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :)

]]> By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:42:28 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-907 Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him. It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us. So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;) This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it

Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him.

It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us.

So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;)

This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D

]]> By: Axe http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:38:48 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-910 Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It's hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don't get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument. All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I'm trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;) But we'll get there, you'll see! We've been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :) Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It’s hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don’t get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument.

All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I’m trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;)

But we’ll get there, you’ll see! We’ve been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :)

]]> Comments on: The sun shines after the storm http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/ Ramblings of a playful girl Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:44:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:38:48 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-910 Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It's hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don't get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument. All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I'm trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;) But we'll get there, you'll see! We've been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :) Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It’s hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don’t get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument.

All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I’m trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;)

But we’ll get there, you’ll see! We’ve been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :)

]]> By: Nolens Volens http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Nolens Volens Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:07:38 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-908 The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You'd be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :) The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You’d be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :)

]]> By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:42:28 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-907 Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him. It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us. So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;) This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it

Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him.

It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us.

So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;)

This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D

]]> By: Axe http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Nolens Volens Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:07:38 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-908 The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You'd be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :) The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You’d be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :)

]]> Comments on: The sun shines after the storm http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/ Ramblings of a playful girl Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:44:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:38:48 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-910 Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It's hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don't get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument. All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I'm trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;) But we'll get there, you'll see! We've been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :) Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It’s hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don’t get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument.

All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I’m trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;)

But we’ll get there, you’ll see! We’ve been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :)

]]> By: Nolens Volens http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Nolens Volens Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:07:38 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-908 The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You'd be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :) The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You’d be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :)

]]> By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:42:28 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-907 Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him. It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us. So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;) This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it

Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him.

It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us.

So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;)

This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D

]]> By: Axe http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:42:28 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-907 Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him. It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us. So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;) This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it

Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him.

It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us.

So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;)

This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D

]]> Comments on: The sun shines after the storm http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/ Ramblings of a playful girl Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:44:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:38:48 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-910 Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It's hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don't get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument. All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I'm trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;) But we'll get there, you'll see! We've been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :) Nolens Volens: Well, part of the reason I throw it all here is that he can come and read it. It’s hard for me to express it in a way that makes sense, when we talk. It comes out all jumbled up, like my posts start, but the difference is I don’t get to edit, I get to deal with stressed/impatient Boy Toy and it usually turns into an argument.

All I want is for him to know my needs and wants and to agree to at least take them into consideration. When I try to SAY it, he gets so scared that I’m trying to take his independence away that the communication gets shut down right there and then ;)

But we’ll get there, you’ll see! We’ve been through other storms before, like all couples do I bet. Thing is, beneath all this, there is much, much love for each other. So we should be ok :)

]]> By: Nolens Volens http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Nolens Volens Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:07:38 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-908 The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You'd be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :) The hardest thing to do is to COMMUNICATE your feelings openly and honestly with him like you did in here. You’d be surprised by what happens when you take that first step. You want to know what that is? Take the step and find out. :)

]]> By: Elle http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Elle Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:42:28 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-907 Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him. It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us. So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;) This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D Axe, thanks for your suggestion. He pretty much emails or IMs me every day. The days that he doesn’t are rare. Once I told him I had a hard time with the “no contact all day” thing, he’s made an effort. But there was a period when he was more present, and I loved it. It’s hard not to miss it

Using kink to resolve our issues is a tempting concept, but one I don’t think I want to engage in. I don’t know, somehow I don’t think that’s what should motivate my instructions. I’ve sort of tried, before. But if the instructions don’t do anything, sexually, to either of us, they soon fall flat. They have to make him feel submissive, and it’s hard with an independent brat! When he’s super busy with work, this would just annoy him.

It’s such a fine line to walk… I’m learning, you know? And my gut tells me I should take it easy. Once, I made him a rule that he had to ask me permission, when I was over, for inviting others or working on something. It’s funny, that rule never got followed and never got enforced. It just wasn’t a good idea, for us.

So as tempting as it is to go all Domme on him, I’m starting to understand that if it doesn’t do anything for him, it would be a LOT of work for me to keep it going and I might not get much out of it anyway. I like seeing the effects of my instructions/actions on him. That’s what makes me want to “domme” him. So if it just makes him pissed off… It’s not for us. Perhaps I’m just not dominant enough ;)

This does make me think of a daily protocole that might work, though. Once, as punishment for going over his cigarette limit, I had him smoke ALL his cigarettes naked and kneeling, even if I wasn’t there. This got him all subby… I’m thinking I’m gonna email him right now and tell him his first cigarette, everyday, should be smoked that way :D

]]> By: Axe http://www.kinkunleashed.com/2008/12/02/the-sun-shines-after-the-storm/comment-page-1/#comment-902 Axe Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:00:20 +0000 http://www.kinkunleashed.com/?p=205#comment-902 Maybe you could start some kind of protocol that requires him to email you every day or call you twice a day. You should never feel ignored. Maybe you could start some kind of protocol that requires him to email you every day or call you twice a day.

You should never feel ignored.

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