I should have known yesterday’s little swell was but the harbinger of the storm. Maybe because I had yet to truly unleash my frustrations. Let my fury wash over me and purify me.

Like wave crashing against rock, Boy Toy and I each tried to get our points accross. Nothing was penetrating the other’s fortress. But the fortress can only take so much, and then it breaks.

The aftermath finds rubble strewn everywhere. Bleakness.

But then, I spot a piece of rock. “Wait”, I say. “I can see where this rock goes.” And he says “Let me take care of this one for you.” We put a few rocks in their rightful place, and finally, we have to stop. We’re spent. Read the rest of this entry »

I long to be free of this need for restraint.

This wish expressed in yesterday’s HNT post came true, as wishes are wont to do. Familiar with the phrase “Be careful what you’re wishing for”? No, don’t worry, Boy Toy and I didn’t break up and aren’t planning to. But there is no need for restraint anymore because I did lash out at him. It started innocently enough. I told him “It just bugs me that there’s no time to talk to me”.

This, in fact, is an ongoing issue with us. He’s busy, he works hard. Not some lazy ass bum, my Boy Toy. But it’s hard on me. I miss him. So sometimes I get grumpy. Sometimes I even get frustrated. He doesn’t understand this, as he’s quite happy whether I’m there or not. Very self-sufficient, my Boy Toy. I’m not saying he doesn’t like it if I’m there. Just that maybe he doesn’t require my presence as much as I need his. We’re different, I guess that’s what makes things interesting. Read the rest of this entry »

Tonight, I felt the handcuffs in this picture were appropriate. I need restraint.

I’m feeling kind of grrrr, you see. Still have a bit of a cold. And my back hurts, think I spend too much time sitting at the computer. I’m doing my best not to lash out at Boy Toy, who’s too busy to talk to me. Poor thing, he’s stressed and busy, last thing he needs is me angry at him. Maybe it’s on my brain those cuffs should be. 

I long to be free of this need for restraint.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place! 

This most recent dream of Boy Toy’s is fucked up, sexy and… hilarious. I love it that whatever is going on in our lives, he’ll dream kinky dreams about it. I especially like the part about the bee stinger… 

So here goes another freaked out dream… It’s kinda hard to explain because it’s weird mental things going on.

Apparently you have hypnotized me and created a trigger or something that seems related to the fact that I now have a collar locked on. This scary thought comes over me that because it’s locked on, I can’t stop the submissive hypno thing going on.

I’m asking you when you might be taking it off, but you get frustrated at me, talking loudly in a scolding way. You’re wearing this little red dress, walking back and forth, and saying “This is the problem, it’s not coming off, I’ve wanted 24/7 but your fear of it is blocking me, blocking us”. Apparently, all this hypno stuff would make me accept it, be comfortable with it. Read the rest of this entry »

Sorry for leaving you hanging with my last post. It wasn’t an intentional cliffhanger. My first thought was to write about Friday night’s sexual antics but then I realized I needed to explain the hypnosis thing first to set the stage. And it turned out to be a complete post, in and of itself. Besides, I was sleepy and my cold was making me feel a bit dizzy, so I decided to tell the rest later and go for a nap.

So where was I? Ah, yes. I was about to tell you what went on Friday night. There was a lot of naughtiness involved, and not much hypnosis, to tell you the truth. But it did come into play a little, and I would like to think that it worked. Boy Toy certainly does, and he says he’s scared. Anyway, on with the sex, I’ll tell you a bit more about the hypnosis after.

When I got home after work, Friday, I continued talking to Boy Toy on MSN. I told him I had a dilemma, I was wondering whether to take a bath here or shower at his place. He solved it for me when he said he had to shower too; a few minutes later I was on my way to his place.

After a quick bite, we hit the shower. As you know, this is a favorite of mine, to be under the steamy hot water with Boy Toy. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks and I know he hadn’t masturbated since the beginning of the week. I think I forgot to mention it here but I’ve instructed him not to jerk off for 3 days before Owner Fridays. I want him to be fresh and attentive, when I finally see him. Read the rest of this entry »

We had a not-really-Owner-Friday, yesterday. Not really, because I just sort of let things go as they would. I could have said, Boy, this night is mine. Or better yet, Boy, strip and put on that harness. But I don’t know, I’m pretty spent on Friday nights. Plus I have a bit of a cold. As a matter of fact, I took a tylenol for cold earlier today and it’s making me feel a little dizzy. So if my writing’s fuzzy, please do forgive me.

So, I was saying. Not-really-Owner-Friday. Well, as it turns out, our friends had other plans and we spent the night just he and I, which was nice. It gave me the perfect opportunity to test out a little something, and I must say, it’s really, very interesting.

Let me go back, here, to give you some background. A while ago, a very helpful gentleman named Robert left a comment on one of my posts suggesting that I try erotic hypnosis. When I expressed my interest, he was nice enough to provide me with some information and suggested I visit his friend’s website, Lady Julia’s Entranced Realms.

I did a bit of reading on Lady Julia’s site but was unable to find actual instructions on how I could hypnotize Boy Toy myself. Perhaps I wasn’t looking in the right place. I know there is a site she links to, but I would have to become a member. I figured I’d try to learn a bit more before going there. Her site does provide several hypnosis MP3s and this week, I decided to look into those. Read the rest of this entry »

As mentioned in a post earlier this week, Boy Toy and I did a photoshoot this weekend. This was my second professional shoot with him. We did take zillions of pictures aside from these two sessions, but it’s not the same. These are art.

I was more or less happy with the first shoot. I’m very critical of myself and so I rarely like any picture of me. I’m not used to modeling either, which means I wasn’t entirely comfortable. I’ve posted pictures from this shoot before, here and here. And although I like them in terms of a work of art, I’m a little “meh” about them. I think it’s the lighting/coloring. Kinda cold. I’d probably feel differently if they were not pictures of me…

This weekend’s shoot, though, is a whole different story. I LOVE the pictures. Quite a rare feat! I felt more comfortable this time, more playful. The photos are much more warm and fun, and Boy Toy set up a lighting that gives so much depth to the images. The minute I saw them, I was so excited with the results I just wanted to show everyone and post them all here!

But… But I can’t really. Because this is a sex blog that deals with kink, D/s and other things that the sensitive souls consider wrong. Like it or not, no matter how liberated society has become in the last few decades, what my blog deals with is still somewhat taboo. Taboo enough that I want to remain anonymous.

The anonymity does have it’s upside, though. It means I don’t feel too shy about writing the naughty details that make this blog a little taboo. It lets me tell you about all the dirty things I do to Boy Toy. And let’s face it, we don’t really want our friends and family to know EXACTLY what I do to him

Anyway, all this to say, I will use the pictures we took this weekend for my HNTs. But I’ll have to cut my face out of them, even if it takes away part of the whole.

Here’s to anonymity.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place! 

Boy Toy hasn’t been having kinky dreams much, lately. I guess it would have to do with how busy he’s been. He works hard, that boy. To be fair, I’ve been pretty busy too, and you may have noticed there hasn’t been much kinky action going on either. *sigh* Sometimes I wanna get kinky just so Boy Toy starts dreaming again… Of course, with the dreams he has, I barely have to do anything! Here’s his latest:

You were making sort of tutorial videos for wannabe Dommes and using me as a subject.

Someone was filming but I couldn’t tell who, and at one point you show the camera my collar which I didn’t know was there, and you say to the camera that you keep this on me at all times to mentally condition me and remind me I’m owned. You went on about how important the “never clothing” rule was and stuff.

Then there’s one little part where I’m kneeling, in an exposed postion, and you are telling them that it was natural now for me to do this since you had trained me and I was thinking to myself “Is this true? hurm… that’s kinda fucked up, how come I wasn’t aware of this… and will I forget that she did this and continue doing it for her wihout questioning it?”

Then there is this part where you are talking to the camera person about the next scene, while I’m standing just behind you and you are holding a leash attached to my collar and I’m kinda just waiting there.

Another part was about how popular your videos are, and you were making money off them. You said you had quite a lot of fans.

The last part is you contemplating if you want our friend C to edit the videos you are making and I was trying to convince you not to, but I had this feeling that it wasn’t my say. I was really nervous about the decision you were about to take.

dats it!

After more than a year, Boy Toy and I still almost always shower together when I’m there. I absolutely have to wash before I can properly start my day, and we love to share this intimate moment.

The shower is small, it’s one of those shower only types with no bath, and ideally, there should only be one person in there. We have to take turns under the water. We’ve mastered this little choreography so well, it’s become a tag-team affair.

We start fairly innocently: after all, we’re in there to wash, there’s work to be done. But naked skin under running water… We’re talking trouble. There’s definitely something to be said about hot, steamy water and naked bodies. 

Shower sex is a favorite of ours, despite how challenging it can be. I remember this one time in particular, but it could be dozens of other times. We’re halfway through the shower, practically done washing, and I decide to experiment. I reach out and wrap one hand around his balls and penis. I mean, they’re right there, how could I not touch them?  Read the rest of this entry »

When I last left you I was feeling a little blue, hormones and all, you know. I decided to cancel Owner Friday, since I just wasn’t feeling up for it.

This, and the last couple of Fridays before that, made me realize that I was going at it all wrong. Well, all wrong for me. The Owner Friday thing was a solution Boy Toy offered because I felt I had no control on what we did on weekends. It was so I could say: no, tonight, we’re not hanging out with the gang, we’re having some private time. But for some reason I went too far with it and it became somewhat of a burden, an obligation, like I had to decide not only what Boy Toy and I did on Friday nights, but also if our friends were coming over or not. I felt I had to find all kinds of cool, original ideas of things to do, every Friday. Well, feeling like you HAVE to come up with something kinky sure puts a damper on things.

So, as I told Unspeakable Axe in response to his comment in my last post, I think that from now on, every Friday will not automatically be a Owner Friday. I will reserve the right to make any Friday I want into my time, and to tell our friends not to arrive too early, maybe. I’m not sure on the particulars, as I haven’t discussed this with Boy Toy yet. At any rate, it might be wise to set a certain time limit for me to inform Boy Toy that I’m taking a Owner Friday, so that he knows to say no to our friends if they call. Read the rest of this entry »