Sometimes it's easy to tell where Boy Toy got the "inspiration" for his dreams, but sometimes... Well, words just won't explain this one. Still, I couldn't help but laugh and find him extremely cute, when he told me this dream. He related it over IM, and I've edited it for your reading pleasure. Enjoy! You would have totally freaked on the chastity thing you had for me in my last dream. Even I was impressed. It revolved around being 100% fully secure and how that affects me. It was fucked up, and what was really funny was that people were here and there was some sort of olive fest going on! There were all kinds of olives everywhere, even red ones. And people were just freaking out on them, and I was like "Ok, they are good but holy shit, are these people on xtacy or what???” Then the cage was on the table and I was looking at it. You came by and said “It's cool eh?” And I was just happy, going "yeah, fucking amazing" but then you’re saying something along the lines that you "found the ultimate solution, it can be on at all times, and I could go jogging and etc..." Then I say "someone might steel it, we should not leave it there lying on the table”. That’s when I found out that apparently, that was someone else’s, I was already wearing yours. After that, I remember these huge bastard olives, someone was trying to eat the whole thing and other people were worried that they could die because it's a lot of olive. LOL Someone accidentally ripped the glass rack off while freaking out on olives so we all decided that we should slow down, like maybe only taste one olive every hour so no one would get hurt. Hurt freaking out on olives, like as if getting drunk. Then onto chastity again… I’m in the bathroom checking on the device you got on me and I realize there is no way out, it’s 100% impossible to remove. This is when I go "uh-ooohhh". I’m worried about how submissive I’m going to be and all of a sudden this feeling comes over me, as if the thing is already starting to affect me! The last part I remember is people leaving and we were both here looking at all the olives. But one rare dish was missing and we were trying to find it, wondering if someone had stolen it. That’s all I remember but seriously though, the chastity device was a fucking nice thing! Hope no one ever designs one like that, I might have a tendency to jump right into it! This was all molded and the whole thing was cut in patterns, design patterns that made holes to let the skin breathe but that wouldn’t let you have fun. It was kinda shaped like a penis, like the CB6000 almost, but all made of thin metal and patterns cut into holes all over. I wonder where that pattern came from, I can't remember the details but it was floral-like but not actually flowers.

Axe from Unspeakable Axe, in response to my last post, asked me this:

As someone who’s been curious about orgasm denial, I’m interested in what denial feels like for you. Meaning what it does for you, why it’s a kind motivation for you. Is it just about knowing he’s denying himself pleasure because it’s what you want?

It's a good question, and it takes a certain amount of introspection (which I suck at). I saw his comment a few hours ago and it's been on my mind ever since. I decided to post about it because my answer would probably end up being somewhat long and more post material than comment material. Forgive me if I ramble, I'm better at sorting my thoughts out while writing or talking... So, I've had a few hours to think about it and haven't come up with much. I do enjoy it, don't get me wrong. There is a "fun and games" feel to it, in our case. Well, for me anyway. Maybe Boy Toy would beg to differ. LOL Yeah, I bet he would.  Truth is, we haven't delved into it that much. I've had him wear the CB6000 for 5 or 6 days once, when I was away for work. He had never been denied for so long. Before that, I would use it in our games but on a more daily basis. I'd have him put it on, and at the end of the day/evening/night, I would let him out and fuck his brains out. In those cases, I don't think it'd be fair to call it "orgasm denial". As for that time when I was away, it was fun but I didn't get the full experience since I wasn't around, and I was so busy with work. This time, I'm sort of seeing it as an "experiment". I want to play with it, see what it feels like, discover what I get out of it and understand the effects on Boy Toy. You could say that I'm trying to answer Axe's questions. I have found so far that I love playing with it. It's been great fun sending Boy Toy some sexy, teasing pictures, or talking dirty every chance I got, telling him how I wish he were here with me, feeling my smooth silky skin against his... I'm a little surprised at myself; I didn't think I had this "mean" streak in me. Because when you think about it, it does seem kind of mean. But I am able to go along with it because I know deep down, Boy Toy loves this and wants this. Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing it, no matter how much fun it is for me. At the same time though, I know part of Boy Toy's wanting this is because I want this. It's knowing that I enjoy it, that I like having this power over him and that I take advantage of it, that turns him on so much. It's like a fun viscious circle. :D Not only have I found myself enjoying this, I've realized it turns me on, too. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at analyzing this sort of thing so I can't really say why it turns me on. Perhaps it's knowing that I have this power over him? Last night, we went out dancing and when we came back, we started making out. He was very into it, which is rarely the case after a night out, we're normally both too spent. After a few torrid minutes I told him to go down on me and... Wow. I think I'm getting wet just thinking about it now, that's how great it was. I came pretty quickly and while I usually have to make him stop for a minute or so after I orgasm, this time I went right on to a second orgasm. And boy, were they good. We started having sex then, but after a while he slipped out accidentally and I decided this was my cue to stop, so we went to sleep. I think he was a little frustrated. But he behaved. He was very sweet and I fell asleep in his arms. So, my motivation? I think I would say that I just love to play this game, it's fun, it's sexy, it's daring, it's something we share, like a naughty little secret. And yes, it is good knowing that he would do this for me. Plus, it's so very interesting. I mean, this time, he's not locked into anything. He COULD masturbate. But he doesn't, because I told him not to, and he would feel terribly guilty if he broke down and jerked off. The psychology of it fascinates me. He's admitted to feeling much more submissive. Last night at the club, I jokingly told him to kneel before me, and he almost did. This wasn't a fetish club. This morning, while smoking his cigarette, naked and kneeling in front of me, his penis was dribbling pre-cum continuously. Yes, definitely feeling more submissive. After his cigarette, we cuddled, both naked, and talked. He curled up in a ball and laid his head on my lap. When I told him I thought he could continue without orgasm for another week, he was visibly distressed but he answered that if that's what I wanted, he would try. We discussed his feeling more submissive and how he sort of fights it. Well, usually he does and right now he's totally losing. Boy Toy is very independent at the core, and he told me he is afraid of losing this part of himself. Because of this, I don't think I would make chastity play a permanent thing. After all, I love my Boy Toy and I want him happy. For now, though, it's a great experience and I will enjoy the focus and attention it brings, for a while still. Oh and before I forget: yes, he did have an orgasm this weekend. We talked for a bit more this morning, then I asked him to give me a massage, knowing what torture it would be for him, rubbing oil on my naked body. As it often happens, massage led to sex. Boy Toy used his fingers to make me cum. Then I teased him mercilessly for quite a while, stroking him, ordering him to stroke himself, make himself hard for me, and when I finally guided him inside me, he exploded almost immediately. I loved it!