Ok, I think I’m all caught up on my sleep now. Don’t get me wrong, the vacation was relaxing and restful. We had our own little cottage by the sea, and we aren’t one of those couples that think they must do everything there is to do because they’re on vacation. We avoided the touristy stuff, and explored the area whenever we felt like it, often by just picking a spot on the map or turning on random roads. Many of my family had rented cottages in the area too and would drop by to say hi, or we’d have supper with them. Boy Toy was great during this whole time and I love him all the more for it!

No, the only tiring part was the traveling part, because we pushed and did it all in one shot rather than stop at a hotel and sleep. This is because I let Boy Toy rule, here. He was driving, so I felt it was his decision. A rather stupid one, we both agreed after. Driving all day and night isn’t the safest thing to do! But we made it, all in one piece.

And the whole vacation was like this, really. No domination, no kink. Just two equal people. We did end up having sex, by the way. Twice, on the same day. Hmmmmm   Nothing kinky, though. The only little trace of our naughty lifestyle was that we followed our cigarette contract, mostly. That’s right, we have a contract regarding his cigarette smoking. This was the first contract between Boy Toy and I, and I wanted to tell you all about it…

As my relationship with Boy Toy grew, I continued my “education” from conversations with him or from reading stuff online. Within a few months, we had talked about contracts. If you’re familiar with BDSM, you surely know about them. For my less kinky readers, in BDSM, a contract is “an agreement, usually written, between the dominant and submissive. It is the formal act of consent to the power exchange.” (thank you Wikipedia)

But for me, contracts were pretty scary. They are a big deal, the BDSM equivalent to a marriage commitment in some cases. Besides, everything that wasn’t just plain vanilla sex was new to me. And in truth, I’m more playful than Dom. Ok, I like it when Boy Toy does as I say, it’s kinky and exciting. Lots of fun. But as soon as he seems the slightest bit unhappy about something, I tend to back down, even now. It’s something I’m working on…

But I digress. I wanted to tell you about my first contract with Boy Toy. The full-on lifestyle contract between slave and master was way too much for me. It still is. But I do have a few contracts with Boy Toy. I use them to correct specific things that bother me in our relationship. It’s a fun, kinky way to deal with issues, and I’ve found that in some cases, it works. I don’t think I can get away with using contracts to resolve all our problems, but for little things, it’s often worth a try.

My first contract with Boy Toy was about smoking. He is a smoker, and I’m not. I deal with it, but I would MUCH rather he didn’t smoke. And he kept talking about quitting. So I decided to help him. I decided that he would give me complete control over his smoking habit. I would decide how many cigarettes he smokes in a day, and if he failed, I would punish him. I found a contract online and modified it to fit my purpose. Made up rules, decided what the punishment for failure would be. Then I emailed it to Boy Toy and told him to print and sign it.

Boy Toy never got around to printing it (to be fair, the printer he has and the way it’s set up is complicated and a lot of trouble to use). He made me wait so long that, frustrated, I printed it myself, from work. To teach him a lesson, though, I added a few rules and made it stricter. This is the final version of the contract, which we both signed in November of 2007:

Contract regarding cigarette smoking

We the undersigned parties recognize and accept the submission of boy toy to Owner, in regards to the number of cigarettes boy toy will smoke every day. This will continue for an undetermined period of time, until Owner believes boy toy is ready for the next step towards becoming a non-smoker.

It is agreed that during this period, boy toy will be under Owner’s direction and control when it comes to smoking, and that he will be subject to the following conditions:

• Boy toy will be allowed to smoke no more than 8 cigarettes in a day.
• When in Owner’s presence, if alone with her, boy toy will smoke his cigarettes kneeling in front of Owner, and thank her for letting him smoke.
• If boy toy smokes one cigarette more than the allotted 8 a day, he will not be allowed to give Owner oral sex for a period of 5 days.
• If, during this 5 days period, boy toy smokes another cigarette more than the allotted 8 a day, he will have to wear a cage [this refers to a chastity device] for 10 days.
• If boy toy goes over his limit yet again during this period, his punishment will be left to Owner’s discretion.
• Boy toy will keep good count of how many cigarettes he smokes, and will never lie about it.
• Lying about how many cigarettes have been smoked will result in a period of 10 days without being allowed to give oral sex, and wearing a cage.

Boy toy willingly submits himself to the above described conditions, commits himself to the ultimate goal of becoming a non-smoker, and accepts his Owner’s directions when it comes to smoking cigarettes.

The original number of cigarettes per day was 10, but his failure to print the contract got me to change it to 8. I had decided on 10 after asking him how many he normally smoked (15 at the most, he said). I wanted my limit to be less than what he usually smokes, but enough that if he spread his cigarettes throughout the day, he might make it without much difficulty. I have never been a smoker, so I realize that the difficulty of quitting isn’t anything I can imagine. I know this stuff is addictive, so I try to be easy on him, yet still retain my control. Sometimes, when he is especially stressed, I allow him a few extra cigarettes. As for the “no oral sex” part, it’s because he really loves going down on me. To be frank, though, he doesn’t do it often enough for this part of the contract to be that effective. Maybe I should change this punishment?

Before we signed the contract, I made sure Boy Toy understood it was important to me he takes it seriously. That if he started lying about how many cigarettes he had smoken, it would really undermine the trust I have in him. So we both gave it some thought before finally signing it.

Since then, I’ve made some amendments to the contract: Boy Toy is now allowed 6 cigarettes a day during the week, and 8 a day during weekends, and when he smokes kneeling in front of me, he must do it naked. Lately, I’ve started asking that he spreads his legs, too, and little taps on the insides of his thighs to make him assume the correct position get him wet. I also forbid him from hiding his boy parts with his hands while in this position, and this totally makes him blush. This new position is great, it makes him feel even more submissive towards me. Everytime we’re alone together, this is how he smokes his cigarettes. Except while we were on vacation, I figured I’d give him a break.

I’m considering diminishing his number of cigarettes soon, but it’s a tough decision to make because it means I won’t get to see him kneeling naked in front of me as much, and I’ll also have to deal with his withdrawal. Any suggestions?