Boy Toy and I have been so busy lately, there simply hasn’t been any time for play. And maybe I’m wrong, but I have this notion that for him to be a happy Boy Toy, there has to be a minimum of it. I have noticed regular play has a positive effect on our relationship, it brings us closer together, creates this sense of intimacy, like we’re two naughty co-conspirators. Besides, I just enjoy playing with him. I love seeing how what I’m doing affects him. As I said earlier this week, it was time we play. I had been craving it for a while. At first, I was torn between two ideas. I had read something about food fetishism, and actually wrote a little something on it for the F-mag. I also read Blacksilk’s description of a certain position. I really wanted to have Boy Toy try this position, but the food thing was alluring, too, we had never done anything like it. We never did anything naughty in his kitchen, either, except a photo session once. We’ve joked about having sex on the countertop, but never did it. In the end, as smarmoofus suggested in a comment, I decided to do both: start with the kitchen, and end with the bondage position. So Boy Toy was to be my kitchen-bitch. I liked that. I figured we could try our hand, or tongue, at a little food play in the kitchen. The obvious choice, if you put aside things to penetrate various body cavities (that could be for another time), is whipped cream. I knew he’s not crazy about it, and I had something in mind, anyway. I asked one of my girlfriends what she would like to have licked off of her, and she suggested honey. Perfect! I ordered Boy Toy to wait for me naked. I arrived at his place and had him prepare us a drink. It was so hot at his place, I used this as an excuse to strip to my sexy black bra and undies. I sat on a high chair at the island countertop while he was preparing the drinks, and when he was done, I told him that while he was my kitchen-bitch, he would wear the cock ring. He hesitated but when I firmly said "Now!", he quickly got it out and put it on. When my kitchen-bitch was properly attired, I said “You know, we’ve never tried your kitchen”, looking pointedly at the bottle of honey I had left on the counter. He didn’t need any more prodding than that: he got me a big towel, laid it on the countertop and I promptly got rid of my underwear and laid down on it. Boy Toy attacked my honey-idea with much enthusiasm. He used a little stir-stick and started putting honey all over me, drawing a line from between my breasts to my Venus mound, then circling the nipples, making little lines on the breasts and then on my thighs, close to my pussy. I couldn’t help but laugh at how much honey he was spreading all over my body, since I had told him that if he didn’t do a good clean up job, there’d be a spanking. Which was exactly what I wanted to do, and the reason for opting for yummy, sticky honey. He started licking me with gusto, and at first was going pretty fast as some of the honey was dripping off me. That felt a little funny… but then he got to the nipples and I felt my pussy throb. When he got to the thighs… I couldn’t help but giggle and gasp. Every once in a while he’d give my pussy a teasingly quick lick, then go back to his cleaning job. Honey, it turns out, is quite hard to lick clean. Perfect! Once he thought his cleanup good enough, he directed his attention between my legs even though there was no honey there, at least not the type made by bees. Between his talent with his tongue and my arousal from the cleanup session, it didn’t take me long to buckle and moan. But I wasn’t done. I brushed my fingers lightly over the areas that had been sugared up, and sure enough, they were still sticky. I announced that I would have to spank him, and he protested, saying it was not possible to lick it any cleaner than this. I didn’t care. I told him he would have to assume the “spanking position”. This was new, so I had to guide him through. I ordered him to kneel on the ottoman (it is a backless couch, basically, and can serve as footstool; Boy Toy’s is almost as big as the couch itself). I had him spread his legs, and told him to bend forward until his face was lying on the ottoman. I then had him rest his arms between his legs… Quite the exposed position. Initially, I was thinking of binding him in this position, but I decided to play the psychological part and simply ordered him not to move. I believe this to make him feel more submissive, the only thing restraining him being his need to submit to my will. There is also the added advantage that if he does move, I can punish him some more. Evil, evil me. Once he had assumed the position, I fetched a butt plug and wooden paddle from the toy box and the lube from the bathroom. I got back to my waiting Boy Toy, and lubed the plug generously. As I started to insert it, Boy Toy jumped and exclaimed “I thought I was getting a spanking!” Now, this is hard, when he protests, because I’m never sure when I should stop or ignore his complaints and do what I want. Still, I pushed through. Very slowly, while playing with his cock and balls and checking constantly with him for fear of hurting him, but in the end, it was in. It was time for the paddle. I gave him a few good smacks on his butt cheeks, sometimes while playing with his cock. Then I abandoned the paddle and continued jerking him off. After just a few strokes, I noticed him breathing really hard so I let go and smacked him with the paddle some more, only to go back to jerking him off. This time, I was ready to bring him over the edge, which did not take long. Boy Toy gets oh so worked up when his owner uses him. Feeling a little bad for forcing the butt plug on him, I later asked him if I had punished him unjustly. He blushed and mumbled that no, I hadn't been unfair. That's a good Boy Toy.

Once upon a time, this little girl thought she would never do any sex that got into this nasty little hole, the anus. Ok, I admit that I tried anal sex with an ex of mine, before meeting Boy Toy. But just this one guy, only a few times, and it wasn’t really my cup of tea. So I thought this was simply off-limits for me. But then I met Boy Toy. He challenged every one of my preconceptions about sex. It was easy, I liked him a lot and he was so sexy. We started doing naughty things. Then naughtier things. Then we decided he would give me a monthly allowance to buy sex toys. If you’ve read me before, you may know that the first thing I bought, using this allowance, was the CB6000. I bought it online and had it delivered at Boy Toy’s place, as a surprise. Apparently, he was quite flustered when he opened that box… But this isn’t what this post is about. This is about anal stuff. By the time I got to my second or third order, I had read something online, I just can’t remember exactly where or what, about how erotic using anal beads was, and how pulling them out at the time of orgasm intensified sensations. Obviously, I had to give it a shot. So I ordered some beads, along with a few other items. I had them delivered at my place this time, as I didn’t want him to be too nervous about the beads before I even got to use them. Well I guess I mustn’t have read the specs carefully when I ordered, because what I had in mind was something small. Something beginner-ish. But what I got was 6 and a half inches of hard acrylic, with a 3 inch circumference. Oups! When I got the order and opened the box, I couldn’t help but laugh. I brought it to Boy Toy’s nonetheless and, as expected, he was terrified by the thing. We kind of laughed it off, and the beads were cast aside for a while. Until one day, on a whim, I decided to tie up my Boy Toy. He has a kind of platform couch, that’s in front of the actual couch and on which you can sit, rest your feet, etc. I had him kneel on the thing and I tied his legs to the legs of the platform. Next, I had him bend over, face on the platform thingie, and I tied his hands back, to the same spot as his legs. This left him in a nicely vulnerable and quite exposed position. I think I could see him blush from across the room. I got the toy box out of the closet and got the beads, as well as some lube. He couldn’t exactly see what I was up to, which, I imagine, was a litle nerve wracking. I went behind him, and poured a copious amount of lube on the beads... At this point, I think I got a little squeamish. I mean, poop comes out of there! And I felt I was pushing it, I wasn’t sure just how much Boy Toy wanted or didn’t want this. But I went on with it. I started to force the beads in, very slowly, with one hand, while caressing, cajoling his penis with my other hand. And... And I never got to go very deep. No, not very deep at all. I was afraid to push the thing too hard and hurt Boy Toy, for one. But the real reason I didn’t get far is that he came almost instantly. Not that he’s totally hot for anal sex… It was the humiliating position I put him in, the fact that I was violating him, taking advantage of him, using him, exerting my power over him, that totally got him off. My Boy Toy enjoys a mindfuck. And I enjoy giving it to him.

I am thinking I need to play with my Boy Toy, this weekend. It’s been too long. Don’t get me wrong, we have sex all the time. Vanilla sex. And it’s great, it seems that even after over a year, we just love touching each other. But I like to play, too, and it’s been too long. Besides, I think it never hurts to remind Boy Toy how hot it is to submit to me. I've told him already I might reserve him for some play-time, Friday. I'm just not sure what I want to do, yet. Reading other sexy blogs this week, I came accross a bondage-position that tickled my fancy. If I don't try it this weekend, I'll surely keep it in mind. I was also thinking maybe kitchen fun. Either we try the countertop. Or maybe he could just be my kitchen-bitch. Hmmm... Still undecided. But I'm open to suggestions. And if any kinky fun is had, I'll be sure to report it. Oh, almost forgot... Happy HNT! This is not from the series of pictures I've been using lately. This was taken sometime during the year, especially for Boy Toy. I'm sure he won't mind my sharing it with you.

Ladies, if you've ever wondered why in the world a girl would want to lock her boys' private parts, well wonder no more. A locked boy will pretty much do whatever you want him to. After all, it's the key to his manhood you're holding, there. Boy Toy cooks for me all the time, but when locked up, I make him cook for me naked, something I enjoy very much. I just sit there and watch. Often, I take out the camera and snap a few shots. A reminder, for later, of how spoiled I am. Then I can also order him to give me oral sex, something he is extremely good at. Ever the attentive Boy Toy! And the knowledge that he is locked up while licking me to orgasm makes it even hotter.  Plenty of other things I can have him do. The only thing is, he complains that he can't do his jogging while wearing a chastity device. I'm not completely positive it's impossible, though. I've read about other men doing it... Besides, he is able to go about his home improvements, with his boy parts safely locked away. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, since he looks so hot measuring stuff, specially when I know he is totally mine.

 This post was brought to you by... My feeling lucky and wanting to brag about how my damn sexy Boy Toy spoils me when he's caged and doesn't have a choice ;)  Ok, ok, he spoils me the rest of the time, too. I'm just rotten.

One of the many things Boy Toy introduced me to, since we started dating, is sex toys. That’s right, I had never played with any before, not even a dildo or vibrator! And sometimes, it’s necessary for me to carry some of these toys from my place to his, and vice versa. Let’s say I want to surprise him and handcuff him as soon as I walk in, well I need to have the handcuffs with me, right? So one day, here I was commuting back home with handcuffs and a vibrator in my backpack. Then the thought struck me: what if something happened and I got “discovered”? An accident. Or someone searching my pack, for whatever reason. Or I drop it and the contents spill all over the floor, in plain view. How dreadful! But what an exciting thought! Makes me feel like such a naughty girl, with my secret stash of sex toys innocently tucked away in my bag. And I started wondering, what about these other commuters. What have they got in THEIR bags? Am I the only one with a secret? It can be a heady feeling, to have a naughty little secret like that. I don't know why, but it feels empowering. It's silly, really, that it should make me feel that way. Same as when I walk around in public thinking "HAH, I'm Kink Unleashed and they don't know it!"

We were entertaining yesterday, having a few drinks with friends before going out dancing, and my friend M's new girlfriend and I got to talking. I made an offhand remark about the time Boy Toy and I went to a fetish club (her and M go to such places, but it's all new to her) and she seized the opportunity to ask me about my relationship. "M told me a little about you guys, she said, and I'm curious. Who's dominant and who's submissive? Who gives the pain?" I was caught a little off guard by her question. "What do you think?" I asked her. She replied: "I think you're the dominant one". I said, that yes, I was kind of dominant. Boy Toy thinks it's naturally part of my personality. I'm not totally sure about this, although it's something I've reflected upon and even experimented upon, in the last year. But if I'm not 100% sure about my dominant streak, I sure as hell know I don't want to be someone's sub. I told M's girlfriend something along those lines. She said she didn't like being on the submissive end either, that she doesn't like receiving pain. Her and M's kink is more geared towards physical pain than ours, apparently. For Boy Toy, it's a lot more mental than physical. If I were to hurt him, I don't think it's the pain itself that would turn him on so much as the idea that I am exercising my power over him, showing that I can and mean to dominate him. I tried to explain this to her, but it was a little difficult with my words slightly muddled by alcohol consumption, and without going into details too much. I felt a little timid; it is a rather personal and private thing. I was tempted, then, to tell her about my blog. It would help her understand, and it's easier to have someone read about it at their leisure than telling them face to face. Boy Toy walked behind me at that point and I said this to him, but he is too shy to expose all our secrets to our friends that way. After all, I do post pictures of his butt here :D It was interesting to discuss this with her. She is new to BDSM, fetishes and kink, just as I was last year. And she brought up a point which I've thought a lot about, myself: she asked me if it was hard for me to dominate Boy Toy. She said that M likes receiving pain, but that she hates hurting him since she loves him. She does it only because she knows he likes it, she does it to please him. Obviously, this was the case for me in the beginning, in the sense that I would have never done it of my own initiative, I did it because I knew how much Boy Toy liked it. I had a lot of fun doing it, though, and so I kept at it. No, the real difficulty, for me, is not to be dominant towards Boy Toy, it is to know where to draw the line. I can be pretty insecure, so if Boy Toy looks the slightest bit unhappy, if he complains or bitches about something I've ordered him to do, I tend to back off right away. A "real"dom wouldn't back off. Right? And isn't it part of the whole point, making him do things he might not necessarily want to do? Yes, knowing when I can push and when to pull back is definitely a delicate balance. The fact is, we do not live in a D/s relationship 24/7. We do lead real lives, in the real world. I have a job, we have projects, friends, family. We have life. And we love each other, we care for each other. No matter how hot and fun having my Boy Toy at my beck and call can be, I also want him to be happy. He is mine, and therefore, I am responsible for his wellbeing. One must take care of one's property.

If you were paying attention, you may have noticed that I once mentioned Boy Toy telling me three of his turn ons. I then added that I’d done two of them since, and I proceeded to tell you about one. There, I think you’re catching on… You’re about to learn what the second one was. Basically, Boy Toy’s second turn on was that I show up at his place, dressed up as a police officer or some sort of authority figure, and I handcuff him before he can react. While he’s helpless, I take advantage of him, just like any sexy authority figure would. So. I had my work cut out for me. Because of course, having never before engaged in any kind of role-playing, I wanted to give this a try. Once I knew of this turn on, I looked for a sexy police outfit every time I had a chance. I visited a few sex stores with my friends, but if they had any, they were always of a very cheap quality, yet super expensive. I ended up buying one on Ebay. The fit was ok… Parts of the costume, I couldn’t wear because they were too big (namely, the bra-like top, as I have small boobies). Others, I had to pin closed (once again, too big). The hat was destroyed during the shipping… I was left with a little skirt and a sort of top that I could wear over my own bra, and a fake police badge. Quite cheap, really, but whatever, it would do the job. With the costume taken care of, I did a bit of homework. I wanted to know what I was going to do to him, once I had him cuffed and powerless. It wouldn’t do to get to that point and then draw a blank! So I read some of the role-playing scenarios on Elise Sutton’s Female Superiority Page. While I don’t adhere to Ms Sutton’s view of Femdom, her site was a great resource for me when I first started seeing Boy Toy and losing my “kink cherry”. One of these scenarios, which involved a woman pretending to be a stranger kidnapping her own husband and blackmailing his wife, was particularly fun. If you want to read it, it’s the Abductor/prisoner scenario, the first one listed on the page. I loved this woman’s imagination and playfulness, and it really inspired me to try my hand at this game. I then read a bit online about police interrogation techniques (really!). What stood out was intimidation, discomfort. Keep the suspect on edge. With this, I planned how I would detain him, once cuffed, and how, basically, the interrogation would go. I even studied the Miranda warning so I could use some of its elements when I would “arrest” my poor, unsuspecting Boy Toy. I decided that to arrest Boy Toy, I needed something to accuse him of. Well, I didn’t have to rake my brain too much: I would accuse him of attempting to corrupt an innocent girl. I made myself a list of questions. Without limiting myself to them, at least I already had some in mind and it would help start things along. I was ready. I had Boy Toy’s handcuffs, because I had made some excuse a little while before as to why I should keep them at my place. Unfortunately, I’m bad at surprises so I just HAD to tell him I had “something” planned. It’s probably better that way with him, anyway, because we tend to entertain friends a lot. That way I’d be sure we wouldn’t be disturbed. I put on my sexy police outfit before leaving my place. I covered the top with a coat, and for the bottom, I wore pants under the skirt. I was also wearing some sexy fuck-me boots. I ordered Boy Toy to wait for me without a shirt on. I figured that once he was handcuffed, if he was wearing a shirt, I’d have to uncuff him if I wanted him to strip… When I showed up at his place, I got the handcuffs ready… As he leaned in to kiss me, I snapped them on his wrists. I then proceeded to remove my coat and my pants, and I informed him that I was an undercover cop, and that he was under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.

After informing him of his “rights”, I told him he was accused of trying to corrupt me, of turning me, sweet innocent me, into a kinky, dirty, naughty girl. I had him strip, and I searched him. I was quite nervous at this point… I mean, I had to perform! I had hinted for so long that I had some sort of big surprise for him, I really wanted to deliver. I put a bar stool in the middle of the room and had him sit on it. I took out the crop, and I started his interrogation. I actually asked him some questions inspired from Elise Sutton’s psychoanalysis of the submissive male, like if he remembered and could describe his first orgasm, what attracted him to me and what his “intentions” were, with me. I asked him about fetishes. All the while, I was circling him, walking with an arrogant, dominant stance. I would sometimes slap his thigh, hard, with the crop, or slide it teasingly up to his cock and balls. I would stop and face him or I would stand behind him and bend close to his ear. My goal was to make him confess to his crime. Once he did, I sentenced him to a spanking with the crop, which I administered immediately.

With that, my first role-playing experience ended.

It's that time of the week again. Now, Osbasso has deemed this week "Olympic HNT". But seeing as I don't follow the Olympics, I figured it's ok if I ignore the rules. Somewhat. 

Besides, if you read one of my last posts, you'll know I was in no mood to come up with something sporty.

However, to make up for it, I decided Boy Toy and I would do this week's HNT as a team. It probably counts as Olympics spirit. Also, exposing my Boy Toy should be considered a Olympic sport.

Boy Toy thinks I’m very good at finding all kinds of fun ways to make him… blush. But the truth is, I’m an opportunist. I guess you could say I’m very good at seeing opportunities when they arise and taking advantage of them. I don’t think I’m a very imaginative person. In fact, it’s an issue for me. I feel that if we are to engage in kinky activities, I must come up with some original idea, and more often than not, I draw a blank. I feel kind of pressured by this… There’ve been a few ideas of mine that I’m particularly proud of (like when I had him come up with a list of punishments in case he misbehaves), but they are rare. I am lucky, however, that Boy Toy is very imaginative and always provides me with tons of inspiration, whether with his dreams or our conversations. He just can’t seem to keep it to himself. Either his submissive nature is just too strong, or he knows what he’s doing… and wants me to pick up on his “hints”. One day last winter, we were IM-ing while we were both at work, and the conversation turned to slaves. Boy Toy said that maybe he could be my slave for a couple of weeks sometime, and I jumped on the occasion. “Let’s do it now” I said. And so he was my slave for two weeks. A lot of fun was had, I took great advantage of my slave. Towards the end of his slavery, we were talking online again and he mentioned being scared that I take even more advantage of the situation, but then stopped short. With a little prodding, however, I got him to tell me: since he was my slave, I could make him agree to do anything I wanted, after the 2 weeks were over. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass. A little while after, I was at his place. The two weeks period was not yet over, he was still my slave. I ordered him to verbally agree to two things:

He must lock the CB on whenever I want He must let me tie him up whenever I want

This wouldn’t be just for the time he was my slave. These would be permanent rules. It was very hard to get him to promise on these. Despite him being my slave and having to obey, I had to use a very authoritative tone and all my powers of persuasion as his Mistress. Because he knew, of course, that once he’s locked in the CB or tied up, I can do pretty much anything I want to him.

I hate PMS. Once a month, for a week, sometimes even two, hormones rage through my body, emotions run high. Awareness, knowing it’s that time of the month, makes no difference. I do my best, I try not to say the things the little voice inside my head, the voice of reason, tells me I shouldn’t say. But most often, hormones win. This is the time I feel most insecure. Most days I’m fine with my body, my looks. But come this time of the month, everything about me is reason for feeling depressed. I feel inadequate, ugly, stupid, annoying, unwanted. This is a time of questioning. If, when reading me, you’ve wondered at how easily I seemed to have embraced a kinkier lifestyle, well, here is your answer: I question it every month. I wonder if I’m kinky enough, dominant enough, for an experienced player like Boy Toy. I question my own wants, my motivations for doing some of the things we do. I read about training and I wonder, should I have a “plan” with Boy Toy? Better defined rules with a clear goal for making him exactly what I want? Should I be harsher? Demand more? Is it really ok that I just love him, that I’m simply playful, and that out of everything I’ve experienced with him, what struck a chord with me the most was the idea that I own him? I read other sexy, kinky blogs, some of them about BDSM and D/s, and I wonder if I'm doing enough. I read Boy Toy’s list of punishments and his notes of interest and I wonder. Is being my sub what he wants? Because I don't think it's what I want... Not all the time, at any rate. We can play at it, I'd love that. But 24/7? I just like the idea that I'm his "Owner" and that he loves me, is devoted to me. Is that ok? And I can't really ask him to reassure me because, being all hormony and emotional and generally crazy, if I try to express these things to him (and sometimes I do, despite the little voice telling me not to), they come out all wrong. He, understandably, doesn't understand. I feel bad. Frustration. And then... And then it passes. I forget about these concerns, don't even want to bring them up. Until the following month. I could really do with a few tips on how to reduce PMS.