Very early on with Boy Toy, we talked about domination and submission. He made no secret that he was of the submissive type, in terms of sex and games, and all this was new and intriguing to me. However, I must admit that knowing how much more experienced Boy Toy was at all this stuff meant that this was not only intriguing, but also kind of scary. I felt I wouldn’t know what the hell I was doing, and how could Boy Toy feel submissive then? I also wasn’t sure just how dominant I was.

Seemed to me I was actually pretty submissive, as I had always tended to go along with my boyfriends’ plans. Come to think of it now, though, this worked for a while, in most of my past relationships, but on many occasions things came to an abrupt end when I got sick of being the follower. Why couldn’t things be my way sometimes? Were my wants not important? I was never very good at communicating this, it seems, because I’ve been through several break-ups following this pattern…

Anyway, back to domination vs. submission. Instead of just plunging into the unknown without a clue, I did a lot of reading… And I decided to experiment: I played Boy Toy’s slave. Once.

I remember vaguely that I was to be his slave for a whole 2 hours, because of some bet or game, or in exchange for something from him. This was all fine and fun, but deep down I was thinking “Great! I’ll learn!” How could I dominate him without first having been on the other side and knowing how it feels? This was a perfect excuse!

Boy Toy started by giving me instructions for as soon as I walked into his place. There would be a chair in the middle of the room, and I was to strip naked, put my clothes on the chair, then go kneel on the couch and wait for further orders. That’s all I knew beforehand.

So at the appointed time, I showed up and did as ordered. I soon found myself naked, kneeling on his couch and wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. It felt pretty unnerving, not knowing what he had planned for me.

Boy Toy approached me and took a moment to admire his naked slave. The first thing he did was to lock a slave collar on me. He then ordered me on all four, and blindfolded me. I was instructed not to move. If you’ve never been in a situation like this, I recommend you try it! To be exposed and at someone’s mercy like this was like nothing I had ever experienced before. But I have to admit, it did turn me on. Maybe there was something in this, after all…

Boy Toy made me hold this specific position, with my back arched so my ass was sticking up and exposed, with my eyes still covered, while he proceeded to feel me and caress me. He took out what I later saw was a sort of slender bamboo pole and lightly brushed it along my body, and finally teased my pussy with it, sometimes rubbing it and sometimes playfully tapping it. Still, I wasn’t allowed to move.

After a bit more of this, Boy Toy allowed me to move and get the blindfold off. He shackled my wrists with chains and ordered me to go open a bottle of wine, and pour ourselves a glass each. One of the things that stuck in my memory the most was that when pouring the wine, he rebuked me for not doing it “properly”. He showed me how it should be done, saying “this is how my little slave pours my wine”.

We then sat on the couch, drinking our wine, while he smoked a cigarette. Once again, he took the time to admire his little slave. He started looking me up and down, fussing over me, examining my hands and saying things like “I think I like ALL of you. Yup, I like every inch of you.” This went on for what felt like quite a while.

After this “break”, Boy Toy announced that he had planned a dirty photo shoot for me. He made me wear a g-string, army boots and a beret hat, and climb on his kitchen counter. He directed spots on me, and he went on directing me into all these naughty poses, while he took pictures. We also took some without the g-string, and with a cowboy hat. To be honest, I hated the beret, I thought it looked awful on me, but I was his slave, I couldn’t argue

The shoot went on for a little while, then the 2 hours were over and I was my own self again, no longer Boy Toy’s little slave.

I remember thinking at the time that he hadn’t done a lot, he hadn’t taken advantage of it very much. But later, with more knowledge and understanding, I came to suspect he had put a lot of thought and planning into this. I came to realize that pretty much all he did during those 2 hours had a goal: to make me feel specific things. To make me feel inferior to him, to objectify me, to show me who was in control… His telling me how to pour the wine, for instance. Or when we sat on the couch and he admired me for so long. That was to objectify me. Everything he did was geared towards giving me a certain experience, and making me understand he owned me. He planned all this around me and around how it would make ME feel.

And this led me to understand one of the attractions of submission, at least for me: to be doted and fussed upon by the Dom, to be the center of attention. I also know that part of it is to be completely and utterly free, without responsibility. Responsibility is solely in the hands of the Dom. It may sound the paradox, that to be someone’s slave is freedom, but read about it, you’ll see it said again and again. In my case, though, the experience was not long or intense enough, I believe, to feel this.

This being said, quite frankly, I’m still not too keen on the idea of being told what to do and be punished if I fail! I think the punishment part is what puts me off the most. Just don’t like pain, either. But I know how much this turns Boy Toy on. So I’ve decided that I can be pampered and fussed upon another way, with the added bonus of not getting ordered around and punished. I can simply order Boy Toy to spoil his Owner.