Very early on with Boy Toy, we talked about domination and submission. He made no secret that he was of the submissive type, in terms of sex and games, and all this was new and intriguing to me. However, I must admit that knowing how much more experienced Boy Toy was at all this stuff meant that this was not only intriguing, but also kind of scary. I felt I wouldn’t know what the hell I was doing, and how could Boy Toy feel submissive then? I also wasn’t sure just how dominant I was.

Seemed to me I was actually pretty submissive, as I had always tended to go along with my boyfriends’ plans. Come to think of it now, though, this worked for a while, in most of my past relationships, but on many occasions things came to an abrupt end when I got sick of being the follower. Why couldn’t things be my way sometimes? Were my wants not important? I was never very good at communicating this, it seems, because I’ve been through several break-ups following this pattern…

Anyway, back to domination vs. submission. Instead of just plunging into the unknown without a clue, I did a lot of reading… And I decided to experiment: I played Boy Toy’s slave. Once. Read the rest of this entry »