No, it wasn’t the sexy kind of eventful… I’ve been reading some blog posts about infidelity. I don’t really want to start the debate here in my corner of the blogosphere, I just thought it was interesting, seeing different people’s take on it. Thought provoking, you know. All I’ll say is I’m not one to judge others.

Anyway, I guess these blog posts I’ve been reading explain my dream last night: I dreamed I was cheating, or wanted to cheat, on Boy Toy. It was with one of his friends. I don’t really remember the details anymore, I should have written them down this morning. All I can remember is it seems I was kind of trying to resist this, and the guy was telling me something like, I know you want this, I’ve seen the way you look at me. Weird stuff. I feel a lot of affection for this guy, in real life, but no sexual attraction whatsoever. So why the hell should HE be in such a dream? lol…

There were other dreams too, I could remember them somewhat this morning, not anymore though. I don’t often remember my dreams. I think this time, it’s because the damn cat kept waking us up all night. The little critter is so affectionnate, she spent the whole night trying to get some cuddles. First time I threw her off the bed, she gracefully barfed a ball of hair on the floor. Boy Toy turned on the lights, got some paper towels and cleaned it up. Little while later, I woke up to find her rolling on Boy Toy’s chest, purring like a lawn mower. I pushed her off the bed again. Then I thought I was going crazy, I could still hear her purr, but I couldn’t see her. After a few minutes, I realized she had sneaked in between us and she was curled up in a little ball between our heads, purring. Silly, silly kitty. A few more times like this, and finally it was morning. Soon as she heard us talk, the fur ball came barging in. She climbed on Boy Toy once more. She wanted to come see me but she knows he’s more tolerant than I am, so she climbs on him, then sort of lays there, rolling on her back and stretching her little paws in my direction. It’s quite irritating, yet totally cute in the it’s-impossible-to-stay-irritated way. Boy Toy thinks she’s the best cat in the world. She’s mine, btw. She’s been living with Boy Toy for the last few months.

Talk about an eventful night, hmm? Wish it had been for the sex-related reasons. Although, I did jerk off Boy Toy yesterday morning. It was pretty hot. When it was over, he said “Thank you! This is almost as good as coffee……. For waking up, I mean” I had to laugh… I knew what he meant. The poor thing was afraid to offend me

Last week, sexie sadie said of my HNT that it was like spying on my life through my camera. This one is kinda like that too. Except this time, I have company. Say hi to Boy Toy

Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

is that it’s not easy. At least for us, anyway. We’re so different in that regard. As I wrote in a reply to a comment, Boy Toy needs time to think things through. As for me, I need to talk them through, which is my way of thinking them through. And which is why sometimes I write the very personal stuff here, the fights and arguments, even if it makes me look like an emotional nutcase. Writing this stuff down helps me make sense of things. I do try not to make Boy Toy sound like a jerk, even when I’m pissed at him. I figure this isn’t the place for it. Besides, he’s much, much better than I usually make him seem, and that’s the truth.

We had a talk, tonight. I think there are still things to smooth out, especially on my side because I accumulated some resentment and it needs to blow off. Or something. But it’s better than it was.

I’m thinking what we should really concentrate on, actually, is communicating about communication. We need to figure this one out. I’m just too emotional about stuff and I can get quite worked up. Yeah, I know, I’m quite the case. In the end, it does get to Boy Toy too: he ends up being afraid of bringing stuff up, because the melodrama just isn’t for him. He also hates the kind of conversation that drags on, which, incidentally, is what I’m super good at. After bringing up Tom’s suggestion, we sort of agreed that smaller doses, more often, might work better. In fact, I’m convinced it’ll work better for him, and I think it could work well for me, too, if I can manage it. Gah.

As for the situation that brought all this on, we did manage to talk about it, a little. One of the things that came up is that the protocols, or rules, were beginning to feel too routine to Boy Toy, and he did need a break. It just so happens that we had this “incident” at the same time, which is unfortunate. I’m hoping to talk about this some more, minus the emotional baggage, and I guess it means I was on the right track the other day when wrote of coming up with new ideas…

“You’re a submissive for whoever you choose to be, when you choose to be. And that’s what makes being a Domme special as well, that someone has given all of that specifically to you.”

These are Electronic Doll’s words, in a response she made to one of Unspeakable Axe’s posts, and they cut me deep. They have made me realize what hurts so much about the current situation with Boy Toy: I feel as though he has chosen not to submit to me anymore, it is as if he has taken back what he had given specifically to me.

Maybe I just need a lesson in compartmentalization. Because I’ve come to kinda associate love with ownership. It’s makes what I had to say on the subject last September a little funny. Back then, I was a lot more hesitant with my affirmations about Boy Toy being my “sub”, or about admitting that we were D/s.

Damn these complicated somewhat D/s relationships!

Last week wasn’t exactly the best of times for me. It seems like I spent it feeling horrible, sad, lonely, sorry for myself, angry and resentful. I felt such animosity toward Boy Toy at some point, I’m not sure anymore if his being so busy with work was a good thing or a bad thing. I think if you asked him about last week, though, his account of it wouldn’t be nearly as bleak. I guess I had a major case of the crazy hormones (PMS). But I’m not sure all can be blamed on them… You know the situation.

Nothing has changed there. We still haven’t talked about it and it’s killing me. And everything is just so weird. Not that vanilla is that strange, it’s just that apparently, any rule or protocol we had is now out. For example, he used to have to make my coffee whenever I get up in the morning. At least on weekends; it just wasn’t practical on weekdays. Last Saturday morning, I got up and walked upstairs. He had already been up for a while, working. I groggily sat on the couch, trying to wake up properly. He came down to make himself an espresso and offered me one, but I wanted it with milk and there was none left. Maybe I’m just crazy, but it seems to me the “old” Boy Toy would have ran to the store next door to get milk. This one just said something like “Well, you can go get some milk.” I looked down at myself, still in a sweaty tank top and little shorts, hair an awful mess, and thought “What the hell is wrong with him?!” I obviously couldn’t get out of the house like that (to be fair, maybe this is one of those things boys don’t understand).

I was afraid to answer, being very grouchy, and to tell you the truth, I kinda thought the way I looked down at myself was answer enough. So he made himself an espresso… nothing for me. I was feeling more and more irritated. And hurt, too. Wasn’t he supposed to make me coffee? Anyway, I eventually said something pissy and he went to get milk but he was angry. When he finished making the coffee, he put it on the counter top, said “there you go” and went back to work upstairs. Cheerful, I tell you. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, it’s still pretty damn hot out here, and there still isn’t anything going on in terms of kink in this household. But a girl still has to blog, right?

I’m feeling somewhat better tonight. I think my hormones were playing a bad trick on me this week… I’ve been pretty much irritable with everyone around me, Boy Toy first. Gah.

Anyway. So, I was thinking, since we’re taking a little break from kink, maybe now’s a good time for me to come up with all kinds of nasty ideas that I can keep in store for later. That’s always been my biggest problem when it comes to kink, I have a hard time thinking up something to do to my Boy Toy. I find a lot of inspiration online, actually. Reading some of you guys’ blogs, mostly. And this has got me wondering, how do you guys go about finding your own inspiration? Do you simply have a better imagination than I do? Is there some trick to it? Because if there is, I want in on it! lol…

Actually, I’m open to suggestions, you know. So if you ever feel like sending ideas my way, or even some naughty scenario… You can comment here or email me (kinkunleashed at gmail). I’d love to hear from you.

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On another note, this blog is finally starting to bring me money. That’s right, boys and girls. A big 30$! No, seriously, I just checked up on my JT Stockroom affiliate account and that’s how much I’ve made so far. Truth is, I’m not doing this for the money (good thing, because I sure suck at it!), I mostly put the affiliate links up on Boy Toy’s urging. Still, a few dollars are always welcome, so thank you whoever bought those dirty little toys over at the Stockroom. None of the other sites have earned me anything yet. I received an email a few weeks back, another online sex store type thing suggesting I become their affiliate. It’s not up simply because I haven’t had the time to look it up, I’ve been that busy…

I think the whole money/blog thing is a bit of a delicate subject. I’m sure some see this as selling out or something, I don’t know. But frankly, it’s not as if all I ever did was promote products and convince people to buy this or that. *shrug* I also think the three banners I have up are of pretty good online stores. Well, especially the Stockroom, I love that site, I think it’s just about the best kinky store out there (that I know of), and I’m not just trying to get you to buy stuff, here

I’ve ordered from Extreme Restraints too and it worked out just fine, they have a pretty good selection but boy, I hate how all the comments on the products are so fake. I mean, have you ever seen a product rating lower than 5 out of 5 stars? Don’t get me wrong, when I ordered from them, I had no problem whatsoever. Yet at one point, I made up a comment on one of their items, gave it a bad review, and it’s just the strangest thing, it never made it on the site. I’m sure it’s just overzealous marketing.

As for Vibe Review, I’ve never ordered from them but I do like their site. I’ve used it in a sense, reading reviews of products I wanted to buy. The site is cute, non-threatening, probably made to be appealing to women, and that’s great! I can’t imagine some of my girlie co-workers buy anything from the Stockroom, so if a site gets them to buy toys, I’m all for it.

One site I definitely would become an affiliate of, if they had such a program, is Steelwerks. Damn but do I ever lust over their chastity devices. *sigh* One day…

What about you? Any thoughts on the whole affiliate thing? And any favorite site I may not know? And what about kinky/sex bloggers who review products? I haven’t done it yet, but I have to admit, I’ve been approached and I decided I’d do it. I selected my items, sent that along with my full name and address, and never heard from the company again. Fishy, or what? Let’s just say I was pretty damn angry. Angry with them and angry with myself. Anyone else had something like that happen to them?

It’s sizzling hot here today, and this is all the HNT I could muster… Maybe I should have went with last week’s idea, only with cold water instead

Boy Toy was too busy to help but he did take a look at the pictures once I shot them. These are not his choices and he’s feeling a little let down. Maybe he does have a better eye for images, but when it comes to photos of myself, I’m extra difficult… Sorry, Boy Toy.

Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

I wanted to post because, you know, I don’t want to neglect my blog. But if you’ve read my previous post, you know why I’m not feeling entirely up to it. Still, here’s a word or two.

We’re not doing that bad, really. As I said in my response to 13messages, we’re ok… Superficially. I exaggerate though, we’re pretty good. Boy Toy’s sweet, in a “Let’s not talk about the serious stuff” way. lol… Worse part is, this is true. He’s been calling me sexy, comes by to give me a peck every once in a while, stuff like that. Just now, he came downstairs and sat next to me on the couch, spent a few minutes just hanging there because, he said, he wanted to “say bye before I go to bed” (which I’ll do right after this).

So it’s good, but I wish we could talk about things. I’ll give him the time he asks for, but this is going against my nature. Maybe he’s the one who’s got it right, I don’t know. Think about it before talking… It sounds like a good plan but I have a hard time with it because I’m afraid we end up never talking about it. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic, but…

Anyway, that’s the status right now. We’re your plain vanilla couple, for the time being. It’s weird. Once in a while, I mention his 10 minutes (as you might know, he would kneel naked in front of me for 10 minutes every night) but seems that even that is out of the question. That’s one thing that really puts me off… I understand he doesn’t want to do the whole coming in front of me thing, but I’m baffled as to why everything else has to stop, too.

The funny thing is how hard I find this whole “being vanilla” thing. I’ve struggled so long with accepting that I, Elle, was actually kinky and all of a sudden, tables are turned and I find it hard just being vanilla. I feel kinda off-balance. I have to refrain myself from trying to make him do stuff, at times. I shouldn’t mention the 10 minutes at all, but I did just tonight. I could almost say that I don’t know what vanilla is, anymore. Or rather, that I don’t know how to be vanilla. Which is probably silly… Deep down our actual relationship is pretty down to earth: we respect each other, are fair and honest to each other, try to share chores (he isn’t my house-boy slave)… So I guess I just continue as is, except no naughty-naughty?

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. RossK said it well in his response to my last post: “My advice is to go vanilla for a while - and wait. He’ll come back to you and want you to dominate him again. (He has no choice, it’s in his nature, but perhaps he hasn’t learned to accept it yet.)”

I have to confess to stealing someone else’s idea. Remember in my post last Sunday, I said that some blog posts I read gave me kinky inspiration and I was coming up with the beginnings of a naughty scenario? Well, I decided to make it happen.

The idea came from Sandy, over at Outside Vanilla, who was inspired by Thumper’s Belle Fille. It started with Thumper’s account of his Belle Fille allowing him to fuck her with the sole purpose of achieving his own orgasm. Sandy loved the idea of the “unenjoyable orgasm” and decided to put her own twist on it: Mykey was to get a forced orgasm every day for a week, by his own hand, while she watched. To add to the fun, he had to eat his own sperm afterward.

I loved the concept as well, and decided to put MY own twist on it. It wasn’t very different from Sandy’s take: once a day Boy Toy would have to have an orgasm while I watched. I opted not to make him eat his cum, though, because I seriously doubt he’d do it. It’s already hard enough just getting him to masturbate in front of me… Knowing he’d be difficult and might not even be able to finish, being very shy about it, I allowed for a way out. If he failed in his “task”, he would receive a spanking. Ten hits with the crop. 

I really thought this idea was hot and was totally stoked about trying it out. Unfortunately, it didn’t exactly turn out as I had hoped. Read the rest of this entry »

This is the HNT that almost didn’t happen. Out of time and out of ideas, I tried to program my post in advance earlier today but it just wouldn’t work. The little window for browsing and uploading images didn’t want to pop up, not sure why. I was going to use a picture from a previous photo shoot.

Then I got back home and Boy Toy said he wanted to shower, so I jumped in. Just seems like I forgot to take off my t-shirt…

The result is a fresh new picture, which I managed to upload, yay! Enjoy.

Happy HNT!

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!