As mentioned in a post earlier this week, Boy Toy and I did a photoshoot this weekend. This was my second professional shoot with him. We did take zillions of pictures aside from these two sessions, but it’s not the same. These are art.

I was more or less happy with the first shoot. I’m very critical of myself and so I rarely like any picture of me. I’m not used to modeling either, which means I wasn’t entirely comfortable. I’ve posted pictures from this shoot before, here and here. And although I like them in terms of a work of art, I’m a little “meh” about them. I think it’s the lighting/coloring. Kinda cold. I’d probably feel differently if they were not pictures of me…

This weekend’s shoot, though, is a whole different story. I LOVE the pictures. Quite a rare feat! I felt more comfortable this time, more playful. The photos are much more warm and fun, and Boy Toy set up a lighting that gives so much depth to the images. The minute I saw them, I was so excited with the results I just wanted to show everyone and post them all here!

But… But I can’t really. Because this is a sex blog that deals with kink, D/s and other things that the sensitive souls consider wrong. Like it or not, no matter how liberated society has become in the last few decades, what my blog deals with is still somewhat taboo. Taboo enough that I want to remain anonymous.

The anonymity does have it’s upside, though. It means I don’t feel too shy about writing the naughty details that make this blog a little taboo. It lets me tell you about all the dirty things I do to Boy Toy. And let’s face it, we don’t really want our friends and family to know EXACTLY what I do to him

Anyway, all this to say, I will use the pictures we took this weekend for my HNTs. But I’ll have to cut my face out of them, even if it takes away part of the whole.

Here’s to anonymity.

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place! 

Boy Toy hasn’t been having kinky dreams much, lately. I guess it would have to do with how busy he’s been. He works hard, that boy. To be fair, I’ve been pretty busy too, and you may have noticed there hasn’t been much kinky action going on either. *sigh* Sometimes I wanna get kinky just so Boy Toy starts dreaming again… Of course, with the dreams he has, I barely have to do anything! Here’s his latest:

You were making sort of tutorial videos for wannabe Dommes and using me as a subject.

Someone was filming but I couldn’t tell who, and at one point you show the camera my collar which I didn’t know was there, and you say to the camera that you keep this on me at all times to mentally condition me and remind me I’m owned. You went on about how important the “never clothing” rule was and stuff.

Then there’s one little part where I’m kneeling, in an exposed postion, and you are telling them that it was natural now for me to do this since you had trained me and I was thinking to myself “Is this true? hurm… that’s kinda fucked up, how come I wasn’t aware of this… and will I forget that she did this and continue doing it for her wihout questioning it?”

Then there is this part where you are talking to the camera person about the next scene, while I’m standing just behind you and you are holding a leash attached to my collar and I’m kinda just waiting there.

Another part was about how popular your videos are, and you were making money off them. You said you had quite a lot of fans.

The last part is you contemplating if you want our friend C to edit the videos you are making and I was trying to convince you not to, but I had this feeling that it wasn’t my say. I was really nervous about the decision you were about to take.

dats it!

After more than a year, Boy Toy and I still almost always shower together when I’m there. I absolutely have to wash before I can properly start my day, and we love to share this intimate moment.

The shower is small, it’s one of those shower only types with no bath, and ideally, there should only be one person in there. We have to take turns under the water. We’ve mastered this little choreography so well, it’s become a tag-team affair.

We start fairly innocently: after all, we’re in there to wash, there’s work to be done. But naked skin under running water… We’re talking trouble. There’s definitely something to be said about hot, steamy water and naked bodies. 

Shower sex is a favorite of ours, despite how challenging it can be. I remember this one time in particular, but it could be dozens of other times. We’re halfway through the shower, practically done washing, and I decide to experiment. I reach out and wrap one hand around his balls and penis. I mean, they’re right there, how could I not touch them?  Read the rest of this entry »

When I last left you I was feeling a little blue, hormones and all, you know. I decided to cancel Owner Friday, since I just wasn’t feeling up for it.

This, and the last couple of Fridays before that, made me realize that I was going at it all wrong. Well, all wrong for me. The Owner Friday thing was a solution Boy Toy offered because I felt I had no control on what we did on weekends. It was so I could say: no, tonight, we’re not hanging out with the gang, we’re having some private time. But for some reason I went too far with it and it became somewhat of a burden, an obligation, like I had to decide not only what Boy Toy and I did on Friday nights, but also if our friends were coming over or not. I felt I had to find all kinds of cool, original ideas of things to do, every Friday. Well, feeling like you HAVE to come up with something kinky sure puts a damper on things.

So, as I told Unspeakable Axe in response to his comment in my last post, I think that from now on, every Friday will not automatically be a Owner Friday. I will reserve the right to make any Friday I want into my time, and to tell our friends not to arrive too early, maybe. I’m not sure on the particulars, as I haven’t discussed this with Boy Toy yet. At any rate, it might be wise to set a certain time limit for me to inform Boy Toy that I’m taking a Owner Friday, so that he knows to say no to our friends if they call. Read the rest of this entry »

There won’t be a Owner Friday, tonight. I’m just not feeling up for it. If you read my whiny post from earlier this week, maybe you’ll have guessed that I’m PMS-ing. I’ve mentioned this “phenomenon” before. I know that guys must be thinking “Yeah right, how bad can it really be?” While maybe some girls out there are sympathizing…

I don’t think it’s normal, to get this depressed and insecure, during this time of the month, though. I see other girls get bitchy and emotional, but for me, oh boy! It’s not like that EVERY single month, mind you, but often enough and for a long enough period of time that I’ve mentioned it to a doctor. He’s suggested several different solutions to try, including anti-depressants, which I find is a little, shall we say, overkill. I’ll try the softer methods, thank you.

I’m lucky that Boy Toy, despite how quick-tempered he can be, is actually quite a patient man. Sure, he’ll get angry pretty quick, but he also forgets all about it pretty quick. But most importantly, my hormonal craziness hasn’t driven him away, yet. He must really love me

So anyway, all this to say, I don’t feel like making any decisions, tonight. I don’t trust myself with that kind of “power” when I’m in this state. No, seriously, I just don’t feel up to deciding. I’ll go with the flow and try not to be too much of a pain in the ass. Perhaps I’ll even go so far as to give Boy Toy this Friday. Boy Toy Friday. Hmmm…  I wonder what he’d do with it?

I’ve been having a streak of badluck this past week or so. It started last Wednesday, when I somehow managed to lose my public transportation pass. It was in my hand, and then it wasn’t. I found it a few hours later but then it stopped working, this weekend, so I had to have it replaced.

Then in the last three days, two of my electronic devices were damaged by power failures. Two separate power failures, one at home, one at work. I mean, really? Power failures don’t happen that often in and of themselves, and never before had such an occurrence damaged any of my stuff.

Nothing dramatic, really. I’ve been taking it all in stride, but I sure hope it doesn’t keep up!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need a bit of stress relief nonetheless. And while I’m at it, I’ll kill two birds with one stone and make this stress relief of mine my HNT picture this week. Enjoy!

 Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out Osbasso’s place! 

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Edit: I couldn’t help being a smart ass and adding what was missing in the picture…

Sometimes being Boy Toy’s Owner feels like a lot of work. To the uninitiated, this might seem contradictory: he does what she says but it’s work for HER? Yeah, I’ve wondered about it too.

Is it because my insecurity makes me struggle to find an idea of some kinky activity that’s good and original enough? It could be. I do put pressure on myself. Owner Fridays, for instance. The initial idea was that I get to decide what we do because, well, I pretty much never got to. When Boy Toy came up with this solution, I took it and I ran with it. But somehow it’s becoming a little stressful, because I feel I must come up with some witty, kinky plan for the night.

So I rack my brain. What sweet torture could I put him through? What new experience to live? Then I find an idea. Last Friday, I thought I’d spend the evening objectifying Boy Toy. But, and this happens often, the idea just kind of… stalled. The idea that seemed so hot at first loses its luster, or I can’t get further than just the general notion, I can’t come up with the particular steps I’ll take to realize this idea. Read the rest of this entry »

Have I ever mentioned that I’m playful? I’m pretty game, really. A few weekends ago, we were at Boy Toy’s shooting the shit with some friends, drinking shots and getting ready to go out. Partying, like we usually do. I don’t remember exactly how it came to be, but A, one of our female friends, ended up with a leash and jokingly attached it to the collar of my top.

I instantly went into sub mode.

My whole attitude spoke of submission. She didn’t seem very used to being a Domme, but she played along. She walked me around for a bit. Then we went back to where our friends were and we just hung out there, her sitting on a stool and me standing next to her, eyes downcast, hands behind my back and just generally well-behaved. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s thrilling to expose and be exposed. Boy Toy and I play at it a lot. When heading over to his place, I’ll tell him to wait for me naked. Exposed. Sometimes, I’ll grab a camera and take pictures of him when he’s in this most vulnerable of positions.

Earlier tonight, we were talking about pushing limits. I paraphrased what maymay wrote recently:

My goal was the same as hers: to push limits. We push each other, we always have, and it’s part of what keeps us moving forward together. Though the willingness to push a bottom’s limits is almost a prerequisite to advertise yourself as a top or a dominant, very rarely does anyone seem to recognize the value of pushing a top’s limits as a bottom, and I think that is a grave oversight for all involved. Often, people expect—sometimes even demand—that bottoms and submissives be entirely passive partners in sex and kink, but I think this is wrong.

With that in mind, I told Boy Toy I’d like to hear suggestions of things HE would like to try. And it’s funny, his first suggestion was to expose me:

make you dress really sexy and make you go out?

The thrill of exposure is why I’ve gotten into HNT so readily. And I’m sure it’s the same for you. So. Without further ado, here’s me playing at exposing Boy Toy. Aren’t we naughty? 

Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out Osbasso’s place! 

Meet my vibrator, the G Twist. I call him the Smurfator, obviously because he’s blue.

He is my very first, and I got him a little more than a year ago. As common-place as a vibrator may seem to you, in a way, this puppy marked the beginning of my sexual explorations.

When it comes to sex, I’m a late bloomer. Well, not completely, as I had sex for the first time when I was 16. I believe that’s a reasonnably young age. But for some reason, my sexuality never developped much more than that, for the longuest time. Read the rest of this entry »